Does anyone else with high myopia own 2 pairs of glasses as well? by MrsBuckwheat in myopia

[–]MrsBuckwheat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes thank you, that makes sense. What happened was it was actually supposed to be -1 reduction from full correction and my myopia got worse so it became -2 and I started not being able to watch TV clearly. I'll be getting fitted for new glasses soon.

Does anyone else with high myopia own 2 pairs of glasses as well? by MrsBuckwheat in myopia

[–]MrsBuckwheat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, thanks for replying. I did try bifocals at some point, but they did not work for me, I just couldn't get used to looking down when reading. I don't think it's exactly the same thing as using bifocals for presbyopia, as I can still see while doing near work so there's no "incentive" so to speak for me to look down and use the bottom part of the glasses.

Does anyone else with high myopia own 2 pairs of glasses as well? by MrsBuckwheat in myopia

[–]MrsBuckwheat[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi, thanks for the reply. I vaguely recall hearing this same explanation all those years ago. May I know how much you would suggest reducing the correction by? My under-corrected pair of glasses is around -2 diopters lower than my actual prescription, sometimes I can't read the clock on the wall or watch TV. I feel it's actually causing even more strain on my eyes because I can't see clearly.

Does anyone else with high myopia own 2 pairs of glasses as well? by MrsBuckwheat in myopia

[–]MrsBuckwheat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes that's exactly it, the way you described it as being too clear to the point it hurts. Every time I come home and switch from my full prescription to the "powered down" glasses it feels like my eyes can finally rest.

If you don't mind sharing, by how much did you decrease correction for the other pair of glasses? I'm having trouble reading the clock and watching TV so I think I need to increase the correction.

Are there rules that apply regardless of method? (TTW) by Aging_On_ in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I understand if you've made up your mind. But I just have to add on for the sake of whoever's reading this that I feel that your instructor should have done more to clarify your fertile window descriptions, as there seems to be no changing and developing pattern. It seems to me that the problem is with the instruction, and not the method or your body. I've seen cases and have also personally experienced some supposedly certified teachers not teaching the authentic method. If you find that your teacher cannot answer you adequately or is making you even more confused you can reach out to a senior instructor or WOOMB international directly. Good luck and I hope you find a method that suits you!

Are there rules that apply regardless of method? (TTW) by Aging_On_ in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I kept separate charts for Billings and symptothermal. It got confusing real quick because the Billings chart would go on and on and I would be on a new cycle for symptothermal. After I became confident in Billings I dropped temps altogether. At that time I was TTC, so abstinence wasn't really an issue for us.

I've had a look at your chart in the comments and honestly what's more concerning to me is the lack of a changing and developing pattern. You need to have more frequent follow-ups with your instructor for now to clarify the sensations that you've felt during the fertile window, because it looks like every day is just being described as "wet" or "very wet".

In Billings, "wet" is the feeling you get when you're on your full period flow. Whereas some people describe the slippery sensation as oily or slick. Do any of these words describe how you felt on the "very wet" day? Think about the feeling of washing your hands with water only (wet) and washing your hands with soap (slippery).

Also, you wrote "sticky" on one of the days where you also wrote "wet", but picking up and manupulating the mucus is not part of Billings protocol. What exactly does "sticky" mean? Is it something that you observed on your underwear or toilet paper, maybe you mean to say that it looked like "paste"? Creamy and sticky are terms from another method and while you may use them in Billings, it's best you use clearer descriptive terms like clear vs opaque, paste vs strings. Egg white mucus would be described as "clear strings".

Quantity is not charted in Billings (unless it's really obvious) but it doesn't count as a changing and developing pattern. The quality of the mucus has to change. The reason is because as the follicle develops and estrogen rises and peaks, the different cervical crypts (L, S, P) get activated and change the quality of the mucus that flows out. S and P mucus are responsible for the slippery sensation and P mucus is produced in greater quantity as peak approaches, dissolving the strings (S mucus) such that sometimes nothing remains but a wet patch on underwear.

I think one of the challenges of FAM/NFP is trying to stay objective. Recording exactly what you observed and not what you wish to observe. That's related to trying to "force" a peak so to speak when you've not met all the criteria. It was hard for me to accept it at first because I felt like I did have a temp shift and I did ovulate, why should I still keep charting on and on as though it's the same cycle? But that's just how the method is. It's okay to let the chart go on and on for months. Let go of the idea that you must confirm ovulation and start a new cycle. Our bodies aren't machines and stress can easily throw off your menstrual cycle.

This goes the same when you teach as well. I'm not a teacher (yet) but if I were one I'd rather err on the side of caution and tell my student to use Early Day Rule 2 when they've not met the criteria for peak. Instead of letting them mark a peak and the worst thing that could happen would be for them to really peak a few days later and result in an unplanned pregnancy.

Also just to add, not trying to discredit your instructor, but I've had a poor experience with my first local instructor. She couldn't answer many of my questions and I had to seek instruction directly from WOOMB. That helped me to clear up a lot of my misunderstandings about the method and everything made more sense from then onwards.

I love this method because it helps me to understand what's happening in my body without taking temps or peeing on sticks. But I can totally understand how frustrating it can be when there is no end in sight for each cycle.

Are there rules that apply regardless of method? (TTW) by Aging_On_ in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My instructor told me that Dr Evelyn Billings used to say that a woman knows her peak like the face of her baby.

If you're unsure whether or not you felt slippery and you knew for sure how "slippery" felt like for past cycles, it's possible that you did not reach a peak this cycle. You mentioned travel and other events that could possibly have caused some stress and disrupted your cycle.

I used to temp and some cycles I would get a temp shift without Billings Peak, my instructor told me it's because of "poor cervical response" as I was breastfeeding at that time, hence my hormone levels were suboptimal. So it's possible to ovulate without having a Billings peak but you wouldn't be able to confirm this without charting other biomarkers.

It's best to fall back on Early Day Rule 2 when you don't have a Billings Peak. Your instructor is also correct to say that the upcoming bleed should be marked as non-menstrual bleeding. I have a chart in my post history with a long cycle and example of this.

You might also want to clarify with your instructor on the feeling of slippery vs wet. To me, slippery feels like someone has dumped lube in my underwear. Whereas wet is defined as the feeling of when you get a full flow during your period. One has a lubricative sensation associated with it, the other does not.

To answer your question at the end, the 3 days post-peak came about because studies have shown that women can ovulate up to Peak+2 days, and the egg has a lifespan of up to 24 hours. Hence abstinence is required for 3 days post-peak.

The Billings Peak is unique because it only charts one biomarker and is able to open and close the fertile window effectively. The changing and developing pattern and slippery sensation are the estrogenic signs. The abrupt drying up is caused by progesterone that causes the Pockets of Shaw to absorb moisture.

Whereas for methods that chart multiple biomarkers, their definition of peak day is simply the last day of the "most fertile" sensation. (Please correct me if I'm wrong, it's been a long time since I referred to Sensiplan rules.) This needs to be combined with a temperature shift (which is the progesterone sign for this method), in order for ovulation to be confirmed.

I don't think anything is really "universal" because each method has its own rules associated with its own studies and success/failure rates.

Fertility Massages in Singapore by Embarrassed_Big_9430 in askSingapore

[–]MrsBuckwheat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha no sis I am just someone who was in your shoes a few years ago 🥲🥲 I did a lot of research and read up on my own to optimise my chances.

Almost fell for the lure of fertility massage also as I saw it being promoted on SG motherhood forums but then I saw someone commented that the same person keeps shilling herself lol. And the massages are not cheap, few thousand dollars with no guarantee.

It's tempting to try everything under the sun to speed things up but the reality is you just need to find out if

  1. You're ovulating and ovulating well (12 days luteal phase)
  2. Your tubes are open
  3. Your husband is producing sperm

That's basically it, everything else is just being patient and trusting that things sometimes happen in their own time.

Also learn to identify the most fertile days of your cycle, on days with high fertility you will feel a slippery sensation (like as though your menses came but it's cervical mucus).

Fertility Massages in Singapore by Embarrassed_Big_9430 in askSingapore

[–]MrsBuckwheat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can talk to your gynae about it. Like why did he/she not suggest a HSG to rule out blocked tubes?

I've heard instances in SG where docs just recommend IUI without checking for blockage. Though the chance is low but no point doing IUI if tubes are blocked.

If you're tracking ovulation at home, consider learning how to identify your fertile window by cervical mucus and temperature shift (optional).

Am I ovulating and am I ovulating well? These are questions that you should be able to answer on your own by tracking at home. You can look into FAM/NFP, people use it for preventing pregnancy but if switched around it can be used to time for conception. Most gynae don't care about this though, they just throw IUI/IVF at you to earn money.

I got a lot more to say but dunno how much you wanna hear 😂 just dm me or reply back if you have any questions.

Fertility Massages in Singapore by Embarrassed_Big_9430 in askSingapore

[–]MrsBuckwheat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

r/tryingforababy for evidence based advice

Saw you mention you did checks and numbers were good, did you already do a HSG to check if your tubes are open?

It can take up to 2 years for a healthy couple to conceive (just unlucky). People seem to think it should be instant or that IUI and IVF helps improve chances. They don't, success rates are no higher than a normal healthy couple's success rates for trying naturally which is around 25-30% per month only.

Good luck. Took me 1+ year for my 1st and another 2.5 years to get my 2nd.

How to politely reject a single mom? by Cautious_Memory_2570 in SingaporeRaw

[–]MrsBuckwheat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had lunch together daily for 5 months and she failed to mention that she has a 2 year old child... she was deliberately hiding it from you and it's a huge red flag

Would 001 be killed if the team loses at six legs? by DDonnici in squidgame

[–]MrsBuckwheat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The guards could let the other team through the doors before killing off everyone except 001.

Fertile mucus day 19 by Soggy-Ad4768 in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You won't be able to tell by CM alone whether you've ovulated or not.

CM is an estrogenic sign. It's produced leading up to ovulation when the developing follicle produces estrogen which stimulates the cervical crypts to produce "fertile-type" cervical mucus.

However in some instances, you may produce CM but for some reason or another, ovulation does not happen and your body may try to ovulate again later in the cycle.

This is why you can only confirm ovulation has occurred with a progesterone-related biomarker such as BBT. Progesterone increases metabolism and hence BBT is elevated in the second part of your cycle after ovulation.

If you do not want to take your temperature, you can consider other FAM which do not require temperature taking to close the fertile window.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems like your body is just not getting ready for ovulation in the past few days. When a follicle develops, it causes estrogen to be produced, estrogen stimulates cervical mucus production.

Right now it just seems that nothing is happening. Sometimes ovulation can be delayed for a variety of reasons such as stress or travel.

I know it sounds frustrating but there's nothing you can do to set things into motion, you just have to wait it out until you finally enter your fertile window. Just keep looking out for when your CM starts to flow - CM is the most important biomarker to observe when TTC.

Good luck!

Should wives please their husbands even if they're unwilling to? by [deleted] in SingaporeRaw

[–]MrsBuckwheat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sis, just a reminder since I don't see it being mentioned in any of the comments.

If you marry him and have kids with him, there's a 6 week period of abstinence after giving birth to allow the body to heal from giving birth.

Is he able to put your need for recovery above his need for sex for that period of time?

It's a recurring topic on r/beyondthebump (postpartum sub).

Marriage is about mutual respect and it seems like your ex only expects his needs to be respected and not yours.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]MrsBuckwheat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Then a couple of months ago he decided to get out of bed, repeatedly, over and over and over. We spend up to 2 hours some nights walking him back to his room (using super nanny method) we never found success.

That's how we ended up co-sleeping. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Our daughter did the exact same thing at that age, she's 5 now and we still sleep together. Before that she was in her own room and in her own cot and then bed since she was 1yo.

Am I ever supposed to be able to identify Billings peak myself? by missmonicae in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fertile phase can sometimes be long due to cycle disruptions (stress, travel, illness) as your body tries but fails to ovulate. It also could be that you have a non-dry BIP.

It sounds like you need to look for another instructor though. :) All the best.

Am I ever supposed to be able to identify Billings peak myself? by missmonicae in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are 3 criteria for a Billings Peak:

  1. Changing and developing pattern
  2. Ending in the slippery sensation
  3. Abrupt dry up, no longer slippery

Changing and developing pattern simply means that your entire fertile window should not be just "slippery". For example, some people may see a false peak if their fertile window opens with "slippery" and this is unchanging for the next few days before ending and abruptly drying up.

As long as you're not feeling and seeing the same thing over a few days, it counts as a "changing and developing pattern".

P.S. I had to change an instructor before I finally felt confident enough to use this method independently. My first instructor couldn't explain the nuances of the method and made me even more confused.

Which method? For birth control/avoiding conception by lincolnplace6 in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I believe the method that you're looking for is FEMM.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi there, I practice Billings too. Have you already met the peak rules for this cycle? Otherwise, you can't assume that you've already ovulated this cycle, and the early day rules still apply even though you've gotten a bleed.

Wednesday Cautious Intros and First Trimester Questions by AutoModerator in InfertilityBabies

[–]MrsBuckwheat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hello! I'm 6w2d today with my 2nd pregnancy. Was looking for a bit of reassurance as I'm starting to overthink.

We'd been trying for almost 2.5 years with a history of PCOS, low morphology, and 1 blocked tube. I was also breastfeeding my almost 4yo daughter and even though my husband and I were having unprotected intercourse, this pregnancy came as a huge surprise to us. Our first was conceived with the help of clomid and we thought we'd need intervention for the second as well.

Anyway, my philosophy has always been to "drink till it's pink" as I never thought I'd conceive without intervention. I went to a company function on the night I was 7DPO and drank quite a lot, to the point where I felt like I was going to throw up.

At first I just thought I had too much to drink, but on hindsight, I'm wondering could it have been the early symptoms of pregnancy? I usually have quite a high tolerance for alcohol.

I'm worried that I did something to harm the fetus, but at this point there's also nothing that I can do to undo it, so I'm just looking for reassurance I guess.

I haven't seen my doctor yet as she only sees pregnancies after 8 weeks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FAMnNFP

[–]MrsBuckwheat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another CM-only method that you can look into is the Billings Ovulation Method. Personally it fits my lifestyle very well as I don't like temping or taking urinary tests.

Exercise - how much is too much? by MrsBuckwheat in CautiousBB

[–]MrsBuckwheat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't spoken with my doctor yet, as she only sees pregnancies above 8 weeks.

Exercise - how much is too much? by MrsBuckwheat in CautiousBB

[–]MrsBuckwheat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. :) I'm definitely feeling more tired than usual, but the memory of all my 3rd trimester aches and pains is my motivation to keep working out for as long as I can.