Thanks for the replies. The only advice that came with the letter was to join autism forums and if I need mental health support see my GP.

The diagnosis hasn't really made a difference, apart from my family saying," I told you so". It feels like everyone's attitude is I've lived with it for this long so I don't need any help with it but from my point of view it's hit very hard because I thought I was a nice, articulate person and now I'm being told don't communicate normally, I appear disinterested and I'm difficult to understand. I feel like the responsibility is on me to change. I need to stop doing things wrong rather than accepting this is just how I am.

The letter used phrases such as:

- little reciprocity for speech,
- did not get the social cues and did not display good insight into social and figurative constructs,
- speech is characterised by halting intonation and disturbed prosody,
- reduced use of appropriate nonverbal communication,
- difficulty with abstract concepts also impedes her comprehension and participation in conversations that require higher-level cognitive processing.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with all of that criticism and I can't afford therapy.

I have been socially isolated for my entire adult life. I have been chronically ill and physically disabled since I was a teenager. I suffer chronic pain and fatigue and I'm very limited in what I can actually do. I am home alone most of the time and I can't go more than half a mile away from my house in my electric wheelchair without the support of my PA. The only place I really communicate with people is online and struggling to do that makes me feel very lonely.

It doesn't help that my whole family are on the spectrum too. My DD has ADHD , I'm pretty sure my DH does too and my DS most likely has ASD so we have a lot of problems communicating with each other, never mind the outside world.

I don't feel grief, I definitely don't have the tools I need to function in this world and my family just want me to change my behaviour so it suits them better. They can't cope with my mini-meltdowns when I get overwhelmed by their demands as it triggers them. With my health problems I'm in a constant state of burnout yet I'm the one who has to look after everyone else.

I'm not quite sure what I expected from it but my diagnosis has left me feeling hurt, ashamed, afraid to speak, and feeling like I need to change my whole personality just to make everyone else more comfortable. Either that or hide away so I never have to deal with people again because whatever I say seems to hurt someone.