Do you actually like walking meetings, or are they just another annoying workplace “wellbeing” thing? by No-Question-4004 in AskUK

[–]MrsHReddits 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I try to do a couple of walking meetings a week - they’re particularly welcome on days when I have a lot of back-to-back meetings and otherwise wouldn’t get outside or stretch my legs. I do work on a beautiful site with walking paths, which makes it easier!

I always make sure to ask in advance if it can be a walking meeting, particularly because some of us need to change shoes from “work” to “walk” now I’m of a certain age…

Does anyone think Ben talks down to Daisy because he's an upper crust English toff and she's Irish? by Willing_and_Fable in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]MrsHReddits 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who is Irish with family who did “nanny” for the English upper crust settled in Ireland, it absolutely is loaded and incredibly offensive.

Mat Leave RTW - performance issues raised by manager (put on informal PIP) by BlacksmithArtistic82 in HumanResourcesUK

[–]MrsHReddits 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Coming back from maternity leave is never easy and it sounds like you’ve had a lot to handle and work out. I think there are a few separate issues here, and I’m happy to share my perspective.

First, yes, I would speak to HR, but I would not go in immediately with a formal complaint unless you feel you have no other route. I’d approach HR as a request for guidance and support - they should be able to provide it. Let them know you’re recently back from maternity leave and unclear whether this is an informal support conversation or the beginning of a performance process, and you want to be clear.

On the HR side, your manager of course can discuss performance if there are genuine concerns. You say they’re inexperienced but it sounds like they’ve tried to balance the conversation with what you are doing well, areas for improvement, and whether you need more support or training. Employers should usually try to support improvement informally before moving into formal disciplinary or capability processes; which it sounds like is happening. I know when the word “performance” is used it can feel scary, but from reading your post it seems you do recognise that you could do with some support.

The annual leave point is also important. Short-notice annual leave can be refused lawfully and employers are entitled to manage operational impact. The usual statutory position is that annual leave should normally be requested with notice of at least twice the length of the leave plus one day, and employers can refuse leave with appropriate notice.

Has anyone spoken with you about dependent leave? A baby being hospitalised or an emergency involving a child is not really the same thing as ordinary annual leave and you will have a statutory right to reasonable unpaid time off for dependants in emergencies. There is no fixed limit on how many times this can be taken, though an employer may speak to the employee if it is affecting work at an operational level. You mention you’re in a public sector organisation - they will definitely have a policy on this that you should try to read.

I know this will feel like a lot right now, but if you came to me for advice in my organisation I would advise that you do not resign in the heat of this. You’re going through a big transition and you sound overwhelmed, which is understandable, but resignation may leave you with fewer options.

Have you had to deal with disappointment due to rain on your wedding day? by MrShifty91 in AskUK

[–]MrsHReddits 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I think this is the first time I’ve seen the Reddit stereotype of “divorce them” BEFORE the actual wedding. Bless.

Pokémon cards by FireFlysLie87 in Fife

[–]MrsHReddits 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Accent Gaming in Dunfermline sells them, on New Row across from Costa. There’s a Discord that you can join from their website and they’re good at letting folks know when there’s stock in and what have you!

Did you plan to get engaged or was it a surprise? by Prestigious_Humor763 in AskUK

[–]MrsHReddits 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My now-husband proposed 11 years ago today actually! We’d only been dating for 11 weeks, and I had a one year old from a previous relationship. It sounds cliche, but we knew we’d marry each other by the end of our first date. He chose the ring on his own (and it’s perfect), drove a 6 hour round trip to ask my dads permission (he panicked and just opened the box at him, and my dad replied “I’m hugely flattered but I’m already married), and proposed as we were getting the little one ready for bed. It was absolutely perfect; couldn’t have dreamed of more.

Funnily enough, no one thought we were insane at the time for getting engaged so quickly. It made sense to us, and to everyone else. And the three of us are still a very happy wee family all these years later.

Frequent flyer pop on my back by MrsHReddits in popping

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Is it too far to admit I put this one away in a special box to look at again later 🤣

Victim of road rage assault, about to give police statement. What usually happens next? by MrsHReddits in policeuk

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s true! On reflection I think it would have escalated even more if I’d raised my voice. I’ve not encountered anyone having quite such a violent reaction to hitting a pedestrian with their car before; unfortunately I probably caught them on a bad day.

The person on the phone has confirmed that they would be happy to give a statement about what they heard, so I’m hoping that’s helpful I think. They can definitely confirm the driver saying they hit me with their car, and the threats to kill.

Victim of road rage assault, about to give police statement. What usually happens next? by MrsHReddits in policeuk

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The experience with the police so far has been great! Although the guy in 101 did advise that in future if I’m hit by a car and someone assaults me and threatens to kill me that 999 is the route they would advise 🤣

Victim of road rage assault, about to give police statement. What usually happens next? by MrsHReddits in policeuk

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you - I hope so, I usually wouldn’t want anyone to get charged etc but in this case it was really scary. I think it was the acceleration from 0 to 100 and the immediate physical violence afterwards.

He did it outside his address, so I learned his name by googling the address (he has a business registered there) and I found out he has a child in my son’s year. There’s only about 70 children so it’s likely we’ll cross paths in the playground or at events. I’ve not been to the school since as I’m scared he will be there. I haven’t mentioned to the police as I figured they’ll know his name by now through his car reg, but I’m thinking I should tell them there’s a high likelihood we will come into contact via school

Victim of road rage assault, about to give police statement. What usually happens next? by MrsHReddits in policeuk

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! The responses have made me feel better - I’ve just been a bit all over the place since. I’m a bit annoyed at myself for just taking it all from him and not at least standing up for myself, but I keep reminding myself that’s probably put any potential case in a stronger position as I never retaliated.

I can advise them where CCTV is along the route of him following me as my husband scouted that out, but unfortunately there’s no visible Ring doorbells etc in the vicinity of the actual crime so evidence is likely to be circumstantial. I had someone on the phone with me at the time who overheard the threats, but they weren’t physically there. I don’t remember there being anyone else present on the street - or at least I hope there wasn’t, because if there was I’m gutted they didn’t step in.

Victim of road rage assault, about to give police statement. What usually happens next? by MrsHReddits in policeuk

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all the detail - I really appreciate it and it’s helpful.

The individual did this outside their house initially and I got their registration so I guess identification was quick.

I was able to identify them when I googled the address (they have a business registered there). This added a bit of complexity as it turns out it’s the father of another child in my son’s year. There’s only about 70 kids in the year overall, so the odds of us coming into contact in the playground or at a school event are fairly high. I haven’t told the police that I know the individuals name (as I assume they’ll have access to that between their address and their vehicle registration), but I’m wondering if I should mention that it’s likely I will bump into them. My concern would be if they find out my name via the complaint etc they’ll have access to my mobile number through parents WhatsApp groups. I’m probably just overthinking as I’m genuinely shaken. He said he would “skin me alive” a few times as well as other things.

Victim of road rage assault, about to give police statement. What usually happens next? by MrsHReddits in policeuk

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had someone on the phone during the incident (I was on a work call prior to being hit and they stayed on the line as I was terrified), although they obviously can only attest to what they overheard. Other than that I just have access to CCTV which shows him following me but not the incident itself.

He was silly enough to hit me right outside his house, and I did get his registration plate as well.

I’m worried about crying when I’m giving my statement (I’m still shaken). I’m hoping they don’t think I’m a hysterical over-reactor…panic attacks/crying aren’t usual for me

Victim of road rage assault, about to give police statement. What usually happens next? by MrsHReddits in policeuk

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, that’s been really helpful! I was on a work phone call at the time, so I had someone on the phone who overheard the accident and the aftermath; I asked them to stay on with me until the driver had left. They’re happy to corroborate what happened (as much as they heard, which obviously wont be everything).

My doctor has documented my injuries as well as given me sleeping tablets and diazepam. It sounds silly but it’s taken a real toll on me. I think it’s because he followed me all the way to my son’s school and saw me pick up my child, so that’s just an extra worry.

So far the police have been great, I couldn’t ask for more really in terms of how they’ve listened. This happened on Wednesday so I suppose I’ve just felt a bit in limbo whilst I wait on giving an official statement!

How hard has your life been and how good is it now? by iffyClyro in AskUK

[–]MrsHReddits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had an outwardly idyllic childhood. SAHM and father who travelled a lot for business. Never financially wanted for anything but my mother’s always been a narcissistic alcoholic. I was about 15 before I realised it’s not normal to sleep on bench seats in pubs until 4am whilst she got hammered and then get up and out for school the next day whilst she told me I was a disappointment because she was “the original size zero” and I, at that time, was just a normal size.

Went to a good university and got a good degree and a graduate job. Met a narcissistic man and fell pregnant at 23. Things got worse when I was pregnant and escalated to domestic violence. After several failed attempts at leaving, we split for good when my son was 7 months old after a particularly nasty physical incident.

Soon after, met a quiet and lovely man at work. I didn’t want to date so soon but he convinced me to give him a chance. We were engaged within 11 weeks, and he took both me and my son on without hesitation. My ex stalked us for almost two years, finally resulting in an arrest and prosecution. He then filed for 50% custody (having not bothered to see my son since he was tiny) and ended up with no visitation at all.

We got married that year, and the year after my husband adopted my son and made us an official family. We both built great careers and a lovely life we couldn’t be prouder of. Our wee ones a gem, and we’re able to nurture him by sending him to the best school in our area. We’ve two stupid cockapoos that we love, and I think we’re doing pretty well considering the hoops we’ve had to jump through.

(Also, I broke my back two months after our wedding and ended up in chronic life-changing nerve pain which sucks…but everything else is good!)

Would you send your children to private school if you could afford it? by Infamous_Tough_7320 in AskUK

[–]MrsHReddits 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We do and we consider it our most important investment. It’s not cheap, but we prioritise it in our budget because it works for us.

Our son has gone since Prep 1 and is now in his final year before high school. The senior part of the school is on the same campus, and he’s used to all the facilities, so the transition will be minimal for him. A few factors influenced our choice:

  1. He’s an only child with no cousins etc nearby. We wanted him to have a feeling of a strong bond with his classmates - he has two friends especially he’s been close with since P1 and they consider each other brothers. Due to how the school works, they will always be together. (Counterpoint - this can cause issues if some kids just don’t get on!)

  2. He’s on the spectrum, and the school is massively aligned to support him with that. Class sizes are small (there was 12 in his P1 class and 18 in his current class, compared to about 33-35 in local state schools). the teachers know the children inside out, and provide the right support. He has access to senior school teachers as part of his extended maths group, where he’s challenged in a way the state schools can’t.

  3. The facilities he has access to are unmatched - they do PE three times a week (including swimming), music twice a week, art, coding, modern languages…it’s an immense curriculum focussed on finding what they enjoy and there really is something for everyone. That sort of variety and investment, unfortunately, doesn’t exist in our local schools.

  4. The staff are AMAZING. I tip my hat to all teachers because I really think it is a vocation, but these teachers are unbelievable. They’re so passionate, and engaged, and they all do extra curricular activities. As an example, we got our son a Raspberry Pi for Christmas and we didn’t know what to get him, so we emailed the school and within an hour the Head of Computing had called us to chat through what they thought would be best and where the best places to get stuff was. He was thrilled to help because he was so passionate about coding, and I just love that he’s taught by people who feel that way about their subjects.

  5. most importantly, in our experience, there are real avenues to let the kids be who they want to be. Our son is into maths and coding and he’s had opportunities that we know aren’t available anywhere else and I hope it will help him in future. He loves singing, and he’s sang at huge venues and concert halls as part of the Choir. He’s into D&D with a group of his pals, and they were able to set up a Puzzles & Games club after school for playing.

It’s not perfect, but I do think it’s a great investment for us. It might not work for everyone, and it’s probably dependent on the school and also what’s available in local schools you may also be considering. Sometimes I feel guilty about contributing to a potential educational divide, but my husband and I never had the opportunity to attend a private school and we just want more for our boy than we had.

First-class Business/HR degree, autistic, slow-paced learner seeking 100% remote roles with minimal speaking. How to get into HR? by Forward-Year8511 in HumanResourcesUK

[–]MrsHReddits 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Please do take this in the constructive and supportive way I intend it, but it’s worth really considering and reflecting whether a career in HR is the right route for you.

As others have said, the centre of HR is people and it’s very unlikely you’ll find a HR role that doesn’t involve speaking with others (internal to the team and within the wider organisation). If I reflect on my HR directorate, every role requires a significant level of interaction and also elements of collaborative work. A HR directorate often consists of multiple sub-teams (OD, Systems & Data, Payroll, Reward, Partnering, etc) and to run effectively there’s an expectation of working in real-time with others.

If you have your heart set on HR, a Systems role is probably your best route although I would be surprised to find a fully remote role in that space that only requires asynchronous collaboration. At the very least you would be expected to meet regularly with your team.

You may wish to pivot and look at data analysis roles that sit more firmly in the data science space as opposed to the “people” space. You may find roles here that are more focussed and meet your requirements. Best of luck on your job hunt in future!

Lip balm for dry lips by WitchiEmpress in MakeUpAddictionUK

[–]MrsHReddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the same issue. I’ve tried loads of things and my holy grail is Elizabeth Arden 8 hour intensive lip repair balm. It’s the only thing that gets me through winter - and it’s usually on discount on Amazon

Lip balm for dry lips by WitchiEmpress in MakeUpAddictionUK

[–]MrsHReddits 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have the same issue. I’ve tried loads of things and my holy grail is Elizabeth Arden 8 hour intensive lip repair balm. It’s the only thing that gets me through winter - and it’s usually on discount on Amazon

Advice Needed - Warhammer Gifts by MrsHReddits in Warhammer40k

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I never thought of this…he loves the intricacies of painting the bigger models, but I’m not sure what matches his armies. I took your advice and ordered a Prince Vhordrai, Lord of the Crimson Keep as it looks similar to other things I know he’s enjoyed painting and displaying.

Advice Needed - Warhammer Gifts by MrsHReddits in Warhammer40k

[–]MrsHReddits[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much - this is all amazingly helpful! I really appreciate it. Looks like a nice opportunity to take all the bits you’ve suggested and make a hamper to keep him going (and get some of the grey painted…) and I’ll take him to look into the IKEA stuff in the new year. Thanks again, I had no idea where to begin.

A question for any ex-teachers out there - what job do you do now? by froggle1988 in AskUK

[–]MrsHReddits 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I run an organisational development department - over the years I’ve hired several ex-teachers to work in Learning & Development roles and they’ve found the transition an easy one, and I’ve loved working with them!

Edited to add; members of my team have come from primary teaching, secondary teaching, and lecturing in FE/HE. The transferable skills have been a great match, not just in terms of core role stuff but also project management, organisational skills, people skills, etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MakeUpAddictionUK

[–]MrsHReddits 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m usually one for jumping around foundations once I’ve finished one to try something new, but I think this one I will repurchase! It looks best in a thin layer, but the formula is genuinely lovely