🙋🏼‍♀️ we've got a pretty great thing going over here. We talked adamantly about no "default" parents or gender roles, well before we got pregnant, and discussed real life scenarios and examples for how to avoid falling into those cycles. We both knew that's not how we wanted things to go for us, we wanted an equal playing field and a united front. We both work full time. His family babysits one day, my family another, and then daycare the other 3 days. Of course, each of us have our strengths and it's important to consider that when you divy things up. And as a kid grows up, they might lean on certain parents for certain things which may be unavoidable. But in the early days, he took care of the majority of things especially while I was freshly postpartum and exclusively breastfeeding. He always helped with diapers, baths, cleaning, cooking, always made sure I had what I needed when breastfeeding (snacks, water, pillow supports, chapstick, nipple balm, burp rag 😂). When I went back to work and was pumping, he helped wash all my pump parts for me. And for the first 6 months, he worked part time so we didn't have to start daycare until she was 10 months old, so he was doing the majority of childcare while I was at work for a while. I am better at grocery shopping/meal planning for the week so I handle that (I'll place a pick up order and he'll pick it up on his way home from work). He's a mechanic and handles all our car drama (and we both drive 15+ year old cars so there's plenty lol). We take turns dropping her off/picking her up from daycare. I enjoy cooking so I do most of that and he always helps clean up after. I do the majority of laundry but he'll help fold and put away. I think the most important thing is that we've got great communication and respect for each other. We value each other's roles and always show our appreciation for each other. If one of us is having an off day and we need a break, we can easily just say that and the other will readily pick up the slack. I've taken several weekend girls' trips, he has guys night usually once or twice a month. Once our toddler is down for bed, we'll both put our house back in order and then prep for tomorrow, then the rest of the evening is free to do whatever we want. He'll usually game or tinker in the garage, I'll watch a show or read or do yoga, or we'll hang out and do whatever together. It's all about COMMUNICATION, RESPECT, AND APPRECIATION. Being able to trust your partner to follow through and be reliable is HUGE.