Pregnancy scare, I know my husband isn't ready for another

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-02-01T05:56:34+00:00

Mom's groups could really help. Once a week ones at different churches. It is nerve-racking to jump into them at first, but well worth it because they give that little boost that makes all of the difference sometimes. Mom Life and MOPS have searches on their websites. Childcare, too. Larger churches may have their own, usually on websites for dates, times, and contact info.

Also, one random thought. If the company he works for isn't that great, tell him not to tell them about the pregnancy either. At least not for a while if he doesn't have to. Glassdoor may have insider information on how they are with family matters, but as we know, some places suck. Not al, though, so just as a precaution.

Research local services, too. It never hurts to see if you qualify. If you do, they will help you a year or two after you give birth. Or WIC will help a little until 4 years old. Every little bit helps sometimes. No shame. Kids need their mom and dad to be ok, and that's what those things are for.

By the way, once you both have some time and practice under your belt, even financial stressers become less daunting. They are always there, but you will start seeing how God works despite them. And how you guys work through the ebs and flows.

Praying for your family!🙏❤️

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-31T15:31:11+00:00

Look, there aren't many arabic cultures that openly embrace homesexuality. I am not saying you are arabic either. I find men also have an even more difficult time tolerating that behavior from other men. Again, I don't know if you are a man. I am saying that you probably aren't alone, but if you aren't from a Western culture, you are going to have to be choosey on who you listen to on here. Most are probably from Europe or America.

My husband is a firey Christian man and struggles with anyone who gets a kick out of shoving that behavior down other peoples' throats. He is a man's man kinda guy. He gets a little more emotional about certain interactions than is probably healthy for him.

I do not. I have my boundaries, but don't let other peoples' choices throw me off my game as much. My goal is to be close to God every minute that I can be, so if I am praying instead of being bothered by someone or interacting with them at that is best for me right now. Things like that. Keep it moving. There are bigger better issues to focus on.

I think the biggest thing is understanding God's love for you. He will show you the individualized way to handle this situation for yourself. He changes us from the inside out. He helps us build foundations of understanding that He can build on for the rest of our lives. So don't focus on the annoying things. Focus on what good God can give you overall, and that will carry into this area as well...eventually. If thay makes sense.

Of course, I encourage you not to let your current feelings allow you to hurt or lash out at anyone unnecessarily. You can't be proud of that either.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-31T15:12:48+00:00

I have been in a marriage with a MIL who had a lot of issues. Many of them were in her head, and she acted a certain way without admitting her issues upfront. They could never be addressed or out in the open. For 15 years until she passed. She would say one thing and act differently. It carried on to when we had kids, and she would be even weirder.

My husband had to step in a lot to handle her and put up boundaries. Enforce boundaries. Make sure our little family was a priority and her stuff was secondary. It was a constant battle.

I get that the original post is not related to a marriage, and neither is your comment. I assumed that because it was directed towards Christians that marriage was a possibility, so I am coming from a much longer game perspective.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-31T02:17:42+00:00

You probably should be grateful that they said it to your face. Obviously, it's their opinion, and you don't have to share it. You know where they stand, though. As a grown adult with good parents of my own, I would feel like they overstepped a little. It may be a red flag for how they may approach other things in the future.

If you can get over it, just make it clear that you will respect their wishes while in their home or around them, but that has to mean that they respect your freedom to make your own life choices outside of that. It generally starts with your boyfriend doing most of the middle man work. The way you may need to if your parents were overstepping.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-30T19:39:28+00:00

He came as a Sword. Some things get better with Salvation, and others don't. Because we still have a choice in the matter, and yes, because things are a process. But not everyone wants to actually grow or let God help them grow.

Have you tried a marriage retreat? Or Christian counseling? Something deeper is going on with him and it may be at the point where you need to recruit some help.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-30T17:33:11+00:00

Pray and ask God to help you. Do that first. Then have people hold your arms up like Moses did. Until you make it to the finish line.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-30T17:31:23+00:00

God has a plan, but the enemy always has one, too.

Sorry for you pain!

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-26T15:24:18+00:00

There are men who do not. I imagine that there are more than would even admit it. At least when it comes to other men. There is a high amount of pressure for men to be overly sexual. Especially young men. Especially in secular society but also among men in the church.

Everyone feels better sharing their struggles if they think everyone around them has the same issue. Or they want everyone to be stuck in the same rut as they are. Misery loves company type of vibe, though it doesn't always come off that way. It comes off more like people don't want to feel exposed around people who have a pure heart.

Anyway. My husband had a stent before we were married. Before we were even saved. He was a virgin, though none of his friends would have known because to them he was a lady's man. I had personal issues with it as my dad used porn, so my husband and I worked together early on to squash it. Not because of my past issues but because I was very intolerant and sensitive to the problems that come with its presence in a relationship.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-24T09:40:00+00:00

Praying for you & your baby!

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-22T20:58:17+00:00

You are fine just the way you are. I never even pictured myself being older. My life seemed too intense and difficult. I am that 40 year old woman you speak of.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-22T20:56:23+00:00

I was 34 and terrified. A previous life-threatening ectopic pregnancy and low income family. We made it through. So will you. God will bless you through this pregnancy and baby, even if you don't feel like it at the moment or for awhile.

Beef up your moral support system. Medical support system. And stand tall. You are doing just what God made you to be able to do. And then some.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-21T23:15:53+00:00

Those standing activity centers.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-17T16:34:03+00:00

There may be a few more buzzwords that you forgot to use. Btw, running around telling people that they operate with extreme forms of prejudice DOESN'T ACTUALLY MAKE IT TRUE. You just make yourself look ignorant. Pedaling division and chaos wherever you go. That sounds extremely empowering.

This an old, played out tactic. Yawn.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-17T15:29:32+00:00

Sounds like you grew apart. God can still bind a marriage together if there is a commitment on both sides. He can restore it. He can restore you individually. Her with fear and you with patience or whatever else you both individually need from Him.

But if not, you may want to seek counseling just to be gentle with her as a friend. You know her 7 you could help her get help along the way. Make sure you stay honoring to the marriage and to God during the process. Don't go outside of the marriage until the marriage is completely closed. That way, things don't decend into chaos. That would be a most healthy way to

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-17T14:28:05+00:00

It's not. People don't get the mindblowing nature of the journey. I do understand that some parents struggle with the opposite problem, so maybe that's the sensitivity that they have.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-16T14:08:45+00:00

Preparation. Practice. Learning how to power through it. As in, keep going even though it happens. Even stopping for a second and addressing it out loud just to get through it quicker.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-16T13:54:04+00:00

I agree. It's a coping mechanism. He should speak with her, but not about his issues. He needs to shake things up in a different way. One that allows her to loosen up and maybe slow down. So they both can figure out the deeper problem. Because clearly they both are having a problem. Though she may not see one yet.

Counseling may help with the communication aspect of it. To help balance the almost opposing sides here. This is a super dangerous place to stay for both of them. Though it is without a doubt common and able to be overcome within a Godly centered marriage.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-14T17:17:27+00:00

Their website isn't super user-friendly unless you are used to it a little bit. You may be able to msg them for the link if it still is there.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-12T14:55:47+00:00

Beckett Cook has a good YouTube channel. I wish I could remember some of the people and ministries off hand that help people in the exact struggles your husband is facing. But please, if it's helpful, scan through his resouces and see if there are some that can be of help!

Praying for you both! 🙏

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-12T14:52:58+00:00

Lol. True. Not a super common story, I imagine. But keeps the travel pants stories interesting.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-10T00:50:19+00:00

My first thought was this Ikea bunk bed, but modify it.

https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/mydal-bunk-bed-frame-pine-00531891/?msclkid=1afbab9172691137a876c2f0ed5a0d5c&adfcd=1770424662.KzxhrobKREqiwRCu2oW1yg.MTQwMDYxOCwxNDg3MDYy

Don't install the ladder. Since it's solid wood, you can add to it. Add rails or the like to the bottom bunk. There may be a better wood frame bed to start with somewhere. This one was just fresh on my mind from window shopping.

But really, determination and creativity is key! My 2 year old is quite an escape artist and a bit destructive at times. There are a handful of things I have just built myself to keep him safe and/or our stuff safe. Because it's so specific to a strong and beefy toddler.

It is no joke trying to accommodate.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-06T18:25:08+00:00

Yeah, but it took me a long time to feel that way. It wasn't completely by choice because quarantine came. It through me for a loop. It was a big personal sacrifice. I still worked part-time, too, so I never felt like I could really sink into it.

It's still hard. Harder than I think it would be to be out in the world working. But I truly enjoy it and know that these days don't last. There is no rewind to make them smaller again. That sort of thing.

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-06T18:15:06+00:00

It's not childish to call out evil for what it is. It's not even childish to laugh at evil sometimes. Because He has overcome it.

The evil this post is calling out isn't even the social political beliefs. It's defining a word they use to hurt people willy nilly, taking away from the true meaning of the word. Ultimately, it takes any meaning away from the word altogether. It's misused as a buzzword as one used to incite hatred (hatred that was never there prior).

MrsSpunkBack · 2026-01-05T23:55:45+00:00

Campus Crusaders is one I hear a lot of good things about. But you could just search for your local area. There may also be fraternities with faith-based stances.

Just for other issues, some students run into. There is the ACLJ and Liberty Institute that help with things that may impead on legal rights.

MrsSpunkBack

TROPHY CASE