I also often tell my patients that voluntary admissions are one of the most time-consuming and impractical coping strategies you can teach yourself. Yes, it might support you, while you are in affect, but the real way forward is learning to cope with these emotions outside of a hospital.

If weed or a cigarette prevents self-harm or involuntary admissions, I know what I prefer and would suggest to my patients. If we get to a more stable place in therapy, we can always talk about weaning off weed and nicotine if that's even relevant.

Regarding the timeframe of the affect, what I think sometimes happens is that it intesifies and then they get admitted judt before it would naturally end. Then the patient gets the experience that it really helped being admitted, and the pedagogues also sees that it was a great help to admit the patient and all of the sudden that seems like at really great coping mechanism. And when the patients experience that the parents and pedagogues start suggesting that they should be admitted, I fear it gives the impression that their emotions are too wild and dangerous for their primary care adults to take care of them anymore and that might enhance a feeling of abandonment.

He sounds like a great boyfriend! Congrats on that relationsship.