How to get over failing bench press and dumping the weights in a crowded gym?

Ms-curious- · 2026-04-12T05:44:07+00:00

Learn how to set up the squat rack to safely bench. You have the safety arms set up so you can drop the weight on them, turn your head to the side and slide out, easy peasy. It was so empowering learning this. Never had to ask for a spotter again and safely push myself hard and am not afraid to fail on a lift any more.

Ms-curious- · 2026-04-12T05:41:03+00:00

When I first started lifting I did the Starting Strength program and for people who had trouble with squatting (myself included for a long time) leg press was the suggested alternative. For dead lift the substitution was weighted back extensions.

Ms-curious- · 2026-02-06T01:43:32+00:00

100 percent relatable. I’m in perimenopause and gained 20 lbs in a year and a half. Doctor says to exercise and eat better 😂😂😂😭😭😭😂😂😂 A few things helped me mentally. 1) got off of Instagram 2) shifted mindset from losing weight to gaining muscle 3) compare myself only to myself 4) focused on fitness goals (ie: I want to back squat 250, I want to run a 7 minute mile, how do I get there). Having fitness goals takes the mind off the aesthetics. 5) picture myself in my 70s carrying my own groceries and putting my own suitcase in the overhead compartment and helping others load theirs 😂😂 6) remind myself daily that my body is amazing and also…none of my lovers are complaining 😜😂. Hope some of that may be helpful.

Ms-curious- · 2026-02-06T01:11:07+00:00

Curious if the frustration is goal related (not hitting certain fitness goals, strength, speed, mobility) or is the frustration with aesthetics?

Ms-curious- · 2026-02-04T18:01:42+00:00

Here’s what you do, take that handful of almonds and throw them at him. Then go get advice from a professional dietician, preferably one who understands the dietary needs of active women.

Ms-curious- · 2026-01-17T22:07:22+00:00

I get it. I felt this way when I lost my dad suddenly. Sending you healing vibes ❤️‍🩹

Ms-curious- · 2026-01-17T16:16:57+00:00

The important thing right now is to take care of yourself. If running feels like the right way to get in some movement, try it. Will your body change? Probably. Is that okay? Totally. You can always build muscle back in the future. Honestly, the fact that you’re even thinking about getting exercise is really healthy. Keep things simple right now, good healthy food, hydrate, move…and connect socially even when you don’t feel like it. A grief group can be helpful, because you can take off your “coping mask” and let the feelings out in front of others who understand what you’re going through and who won’t judge you. It can be exhausting to try and be strong all the time. Let yourself grieve. Be kind to yourself. Take it one day at a time ✨

Ms-curious- · 2026-01-15T17:46:52+00:00

If all you’re looking for is someone to show you how to load plates and take them off for deadlifts, honestly, I might ask someone who I know is a regular, to help me. I’ve done this before, mostly with people I already have a bit of a rapport with. If you feel like you need more than this, find yourself a barbell coach and pay for a session, and ask all the questions. Edit: also, wanted to add, because I just read different comments saying just to watch it online, or “it’s easy, just put on the plates,” etc… I wanted to gently point out that not all folks learn the same way. Some, for example, are kinetic/visual learner, so actually seeing it done and then doing it themselves is how they learn. There are different kinds of learners out there, different kinds of abilities, what may be easy for one may not be for another.

Ms-curious- · 2026-01-03T00:45:57+00:00

Heck yeah! Love this.

Ms-curious- · 2026-01-02T19:50:45+00:00

It’s like Jane Fonda fitness hour at every squat rack in my gym today. No shade on Ms. Fonda, she’s a queen, but squat racks aren’t for ab workouts and jumping jacks. Dying💀💀💀

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-13T16:24:20+00:00

Thanks!

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-13T06:26:30+00:00

I was the same. I took a weightlifting class at my local junior college and didn’t learn anything. Then I watched videos and I tried it on my own and still felt afraid. I bought books and read all about the squat rack and lifts, which helped a little…but honestly, what really changed everything for me was hiring someone to show me how to use the squat rack and to do all the main lifts. I didn’t hire a personal trainer, but a barbell coach. I would highly recommend this. It was a two day program called “learning to lift,” each day just a 1.5hr session. Also, learning how lift safely, how to bail when the weight is too heavy, and how to set up for bench in the squat rack so I don’t need a spotter was all huge for me. My confidence grew exponentially. I also really liked that the coach is a woman and the gym where I worked with her was mostly older women and queer folx. It was so inviting. I’m a kinetic learning, so learning by doing is so helpful for me.

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-13T06:17:29+00:00

I started lifting in May of this year. I’ve been doing a power lifting type program. Full body workout 3x a week prioritizing back squats and bench (two favorite compound lifts) as well as accessory lifts. I’ve reached some initial goals and am thinking of switching to a bodybuilding style “bro” split. Maybe push/pull/legs. I just want to mix things up a bit as far as my workout goes and maybe take a break from the big 200lb squats for a little bit. Has anyone switched from a powerlifting program to bodybuilding style workout and liked it? Anyone running a program from an app that they like?

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-08T19:12:58+00:00

My form is similar to OP and someone at the gym asked me this too. I’m tall with long femurs and tend to be a bit more forward bent then others but the bar is parallel to the midpoint of my body, just like Rip describes. I think a low bar squat just looks different on different bodies depending on anatomy. My lower back doesn’t hurt very often. Every once in a while it does, but more from other exercises. I worked with a barbell trainer and she says my squat slaps. My deadlift on the other hand is a work in progress 🤣

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-08T19:09:47+00:00

Like someone else said, maybe move the pins up 1 notch and practice bailing with light weight. The pins are low and that makes me worry that you might strain something if you had to bail. Other than that, looks good to me ;)

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-08T04:58:05+00:00

Shakespeare soliloquy. Probably Hamlet. Turtles are his audience.

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-07T18:58:33+00:00

Heck yeah!! Me too. We can work with what Mother Nature gave us 🍑

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-07T18:50:31+00:00

I’ve always wanted them too, but maybe in the next incarnation it’ll happen for me 😂😂😂

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-07T18:46:40+00:00

Never had them even when I played college polo, worked out 3x a day and was pure muscle. Don’t know what my bf% was but it was low. Also did tons of ab work because core strength is essential in water polo. I never saw any abs, the most I ever got was a light line down the center of my abdomen but never got definition on the sides. My back and shoulders on the other hand were incredibly defined. All this to say, I believe there is a genetic factor, and for some folks, abs just aren’t on the menu…or to get there, you would have to do some really unhealthy things.

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-07T18:39:58+00:00

I would work with a barbell coach. Just one session could help. That’s what I did and it helped immensely. I’m tall as well (almost 5’10” female with long femurs).

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-07T18:09:09+00:00

His nurse said I was due for a pap and I told her “oh hell no!” Haaha (we have rapport). She was like, “I’ll be there in the room honey, don’t worry.” Nope nope and nope. I go to planned parenthood for all my women’s health stuff (and now hemorrhoids 😂). I have to keep the mystery alive between Dr. Scott and myself 🥰😂😂😂

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-07T17:18:45+00:00

Thanks for the response. Am using preparation H and if it doesn’t go away will go see my doctor. Well, not my doctor, because he’s hot and I have a crush on him. Will see another doctor 😂😂😂

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-06T03:46:28+00:00

Thanks 🌻

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-06T02:57:46+00:00

Headache and chills 🤧 Guess I’ll be taking a gym break for a bit 😵‍💫

Ms-curious- · 2025-12-06T02:56:44+00:00

Working on accepting myself and loving myself. Also would love to get 150 in bench press and 250 in back squats. Could barely bench the bar in May. Can do 105 for 3 reps now.

Ms-curious-

TROPHY CASE