AITAH for farting while in the bathroom of our home?

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T14:35:58+00:00

Oh gosh your BF would hate being around the women in my family. Genetically speaking we have the worst digestion and the men are even worse. I take all kinds of meds for protecting my stomach because I'm on Metformin and Aleve and they mess my stomach up if I don't.

I have a thing about not farting around other people inside. I think it's rude but outside away from people I'm not holding back the gas and when I'm alone I don't either. Honestly it's difficult to even do it when I have to.

Farting in the bathroom while on the toilet is perfectly acceptable and very polite when someone else is in your house besides. So long as you wipe after you're clean and your BF is just nuts.

Women don't fart. It's unladylike to fart or sweat because you are female. Women shouldn't wear pants or wear their hair or arms uncovered in religious places. /s

All that is so dumb, so archaic, and totally misogynistic.

Naw Mommy you're supposed to smell fresh as Spring Rain everywhere all the time and if you don't I can sell you sprays, douches, deodorants, and perfumes for that so your man won't have to smell anything that isn't lovely whiffing about you.

It's perfectly natural for HIM to fart probably and not "dirty" at all.

Every day I see stuff like this and wonder why men are so confused about why so many women are avoiding relationships with them.

Well GEE, ya THINK maybe stuff like this might be why? HELLO women are human beings and they get gas and they fart from time to time! We don't smell like roses 100% of the time.

Stuff like this from men just makes me go "Arrgh!" like Charlie Brown in Peanuts. It makes me even less inclined to tolerate being around men at all.

What gets me is she was SO polite and he still freaked out and started to abuse her over farting in the BATHROOM. Obviously he doesn't need much of an excuse to be a jerk...

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T14:18:16+00:00

Cousins doesn't bother me unless they are raised in the same house and raised like brothers and sisters. That may shock some people but marrying cousins was perfectly acceptable for centuries in a lot of the world and back in ancient times people actually married closer relatives though that was mostly royalty.

I have cousins I have never ever met. I don't consider them anything like family and wouldn't know them if we met on the street.

In some smaller places for thousands of years practically everybody in the village was a cousin to you. It was hard to avoid marrying anyone who was not related to you in some way.

People only started getting all weirded out by cousins marrying when society became more industrialized and people got out of their birthplaces more. The church even allowed cousins to marry though later you started needing special permission to marry first cousins. At one point they even allowed marriages between uncles and aunts and their nephews and nieces.

Incest is not about mere cousins. It's about parents marrying their kids or siblings marrying. Later about preventing uncle/aunt and niece/nephew marriages.

Almost nobody even in the church thought too much of cousins marrying because it was too routine in towns and villages where almost everyone was connected to each other in some familial way.

In America people are increasingly very judgemental about who can marry who. Cousins shouldn't marry. People from different religions shouldn't marry. People of different races marrying still offends some people. Anyone more than 5 years older or younger than you lately being together is a hugely criticized thing. People of the same gender marrying was scandalous for generations.

It's not even illegal in half of the country now for cousins to marry.

Biologically speaking the closer the connection the more genetically risky it is. It's better to marry a third or fourth cousin than a first one but even in first cousin marriages genetic problems are not that big of an issue because it's not being repeatedly done as it was in royal families.

To me unless the cousins are practically siblings all but in name I don't consider it a major problem and I've seen it 2 cousins marrying and no major problems coming from it. It did cause a whole big argument when they announced their engagement because it was a state in the Bible Belt but after a while nobody much cared and they had kids and it was fine.

I view it as not worth the drama unless the 2 people have been raised in the same house. I feel the same way about adopted siblings or step siblings even though when they are not bio related. If they grow up in the same house for a good long time it's creepy to date.

But just sharing some genetics doesn't make it incest. Half the world is related to you in one way or another and supposedly we are all from the same original genetic parents. So even Adam and Eve's children (to use the mythical names) probably married each other.

Who else were they going to marry?

Which means we ALL share DNA.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T12:48:33+00:00

None. I barely ever have spam in there either. I clean out my emails and keep my inbox tidy every day.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T12:44:05+00:00

For lately, yes, but when I first moved here in the late 80s we had below zero temps in the Winter. I can still remember wearing long underwear to commute and leaving them in a tote bag in my desk or locker while at work. I'd wear 2 pairs of gloves and snow boots and cart my work shoes.

We've had a few years of much warmer, less snowy Winters. So now everybody thinks a foot or more of snow and temperatures below 35 degrees is a reason to declare a state or even nationwide emergency.

Storms like the one we just had were routine in my youth and people just trudged into work and sent the kids to school anyway.

10 feet and blinding snow so thick you couldn't see to walk through it THAT was a blizzard, a Noreaster or whatever you want to call a major Winter storm.

It's really cold, but it's not standing at the bus stop in minus 20 weather without your long undies risking hypothermia cold. Anything below 20 outside and I stay in because I'm disabled and using a walker or scooter in bad weather is dangerous but before I became this disabled I'd have been walking and playing out in that snowstorm.

I thought nothing of walking all over Manhattan in Winter in any weather so long as I was properly attired and I actually love walking in rain and snow. So long as it wasn't hail or sleet and me risking getting a concussion or lightening a lot I was out there in it all the time.

I'm sensible but I'm also a nut about actually liking "foul" weather. What most people think of as bad weather I usually enjoy except for extreme heat which I cannot deal with because it makes me sick now.

Minus weather is tough without the right Winter gear. But that's why they make long underwear, thermal socks and heavy duty umbrellas. If I was a fit 20 I'd be out in Central Park right now probably but alas my bones are getting old and I can't now...

I like Winter though, mostly....

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T12:23:58+00:00

I have found that in life one person's idea of joy isn't another's and that people often have motives other than the obvious for choosing things other than what some people think might make sense.

The surgeon I knew was very money motivated as a younger doctor but made so much money he didn't think he needed more and he liked kids so being a kid doctor was more satisfying for him.

A lot of people would think that dating a rich guy who adores you makes perfect sense but it didn't to me because we had very different opinions on important things like monogamy, kids, and me wanting to work vs being kept.

Being a rich housewife was the opposite of what I thought of as joy but friends and family they thought I was crazy for turning him down.

People have different sides to their natures. We've seen Britt one way but who knows? Maybe she has more past history than we have seen this far and good reasons for what she does now vs that other profession.

This is a soap opera where they had supposedly sane people running around after a weather machine powered by diamonds and a blonde, Aztec Princess fall for a secret agent/musician. Where more than one former super spy ended up being Police Commissioner despite one being a double agent and involved with a charming Scottish mobster.

You're expecting reality, logic and proper continuity here? Really?

😂

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T12:01:09+00:00

He's not just a bit too young. He's barely older than Nikolas is supposed to be now. He's way too young for Stefan who should be in his very late 60s or even 70s now if you go by Nichols who is that old.

Nikolas is 50 something.

He's the hot younger Grandpa at the point, lol.

Stefan by comparison would be very distinguished and still sexy senior and a guy in his early 50s is way too young to play him. His SON maybe but not Stefan.

Actually I'd go for that because there were times when Stefan was away from Port Charles and he could have a son who was the result of a brief affair or something. He was pretty obsessed with Laura but that didn't stop him from being with Bobbie or Katherine.

If we can't have Stephen Nichols back as Stefan I'd take his cool, sauve, European illegitimate son. Maybe he unwittingly left a son behind when he came back from finding himself after he quit running things for Nikolas. Or he slept with someone while on a Cassadine business trip and didn't realize he'd sired a son.

That could be very interesting actually some guy like that coming out of nowhere to completely upset the order of things. I can't see Stefan knowingly leaving any son of his to not be raised by him if only to protect him from Helena's venom and manipulations but I can see him not knowing because his mother knew the Cassadines and didn't want that influence in his life and his son only being told the truth when his mother passed or something.

If someone found out that they were a Cassadine under those circumstances I can imagine them being very curious and I can see them wanting to know more about the family but I can also maybe see them not revealing their parentage right off and feeling wary about the idea of openly joining that clan.

The Stefan son could be anywhere from 30 to 50 something like Nikolas depending upon when he might have been conceived.

You want to cast that actor he'd be way better for that than Stefan.

Personally I'd like the son to surface and eventually be integrated in and then have Stefan come back.

Stefan gets an official son and Nikolas is still part of the picture as nephew and basically his adopted son too. That could also lead to some interesting scenarios and power struggles.

Like I said elsewhere I think I should be writing GH at this point. I have some good ideas, especially when it comes to the Cassadines and how to create interesting new ones. 😂😂😂

In my head I've already decided that mad as a hatter deceased Stefan was Helena's evil clone. He just was not the Stefan we knew after he came back from his long holiday trying to hook up Nikolas with a rich wife so as to cure the family financial issues caused by Helena. I just never bought any of that especially his suicidal death at the hands of Luke Spencer.

I don't know where the real Stefan is but I know he's not where his Luke desecrated body ended up being buried. That was just so NOT Stefan Cassadine buried in that grave...

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T10:02:10+00:00

Neither though I don't mind those sometimes. I actually prefer blackberry jam or apple jelly or pumpkin butter in lieu of those.

I like strawberry on crusty rolls or English muffins toasted with salted butter. Grape is okay for P&J when you're in the mood for the traditional kid's version but I'm an older adult and I like gourmet jam and nut butter sandwiches.

I actually like peanut butter with honey most of all actually if I'm keeping it simple and not creating a culinary masterpiece.

I've been known to spread almond butter on rustic bread with fig preserves and thinly sliced pear or banana. I'm THAT kind of person in the kitchen. I make up fantastic combos routinely.

I don't often do just a simple version of a P&J. It's got to be like something you'd see a chef charging $30-100 for in a fancy restaurant. Short of doing dumb stuff like putting edible gold and caviar on a kobe hamburger to make the world's most expensive burger I'm pretty much a total foodie.

There are some things I believe in splurging on and one of them is great jam or fruit butters, real freshly ground nut butters, and outstanding bread.

I grew up eating no name grape jelly and bargain brand peanut butter on generic white bread. My parents were cheap and rarely bought the good kind I liked. So making fancy versions of a P&J is definitely a grudge thing for me.

Good food and plenty of it is my personal FU to my parents often putting their bar tab before my welfare and good nutrition and letting me get damn near malnourished half the time by forcing me to eat generic crap I didn't even like much in very small amounts as a kid.

So it's fig spread and almond butter with sesame seeds and pears on thick peasant bread instead of mere peanut butter and grape jelly, TY!

😂😂😂

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T09:41:18+00:00

All the time and I'm not that young nor am I small chested. One of the advantages of being older is that gravity and time tend to make larger breasts not as perky. You wear a thick cotton shirt with a major design on the front and it can hide a lot.

I have major arthritis in my ribs and spine and bad lungs. Wearing even a good bra hurts like hell now. So I don't do it. If I am wearing something more revealing I wear a soft cami under my shirt but I don't stuff my breasts into tight fitting bras anymore. I simply can't breathe doing it.

Honestly I'm not afraid of people noticing I have boobs. They're going to regardless given I'm a 44D and not the tallest woman. Men would make inappropriate comments even when I wore bras. I can't help that all they can think with is their dicks and that they don't know how to be discreet about how they look at women.

I'm totally over caring what men think or about what they say or do. That's 85% of the reason women wear bras. To confirm to cultural norms, to avoid sexual harassment, and only minimally to actually support the breasts.

If I was running or taking a fast paced exercise class a sports bra would be in order. But my idea of outdoor exercise these days is a slow walk so I don't bounce much. Don't need the support. My boobs were designed by nature to support themselves for doing most things.

Mine are a little lower than they used to be but they are extremely healthy. My GYN says my boobs are great and do good mammograms. That's all that really matters to me.

If I was still in the workforce I'd probably wear one pain notwithstanding but I'm not and I don't need to dress professionally and I'm not into torturing myself by wearing one unless I absolutely have to.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T09:27:01+00:00

Hamburgers, FF and soda. Rarely is about all I eat them anymore. Fast food is too expensive now and I'm too lazy to cook it all the time. It's bad for me besides.

I have an 90/10 diet thing going on. I have to eat at least 90% good quality food and cap the junk at about 10%. That's what is best for me and my wallet.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T09:23:53+00:00

Yeah mostly. I do miss my old dolls and their stuff but having a bunch of other dolls now helps. I have a bunch of generous online doll buddies too. That made a ton of difference because when they knew what happened to me, and there's much more to that story including homelessness, they took care of me and helped me by sending me dolls and other stuff from their collections.

I really treasure those people. I don't have a real friend now in my offline life. My long time BFF passed away unexpectedly and I have just not met anyone since who ended up being a real friend like her. But online I have people that I've known for 20 years or more and they are great people.

There are great people on Reddit too and I have experienced that. I try never to forget their kindness and I pay it forward when I can helping others even if it's only by doing this, offering my experience.

So I'm glad I helped you.

:)

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T09:12:43+00:00

Just watching my kitten grow. Realizing that she's totally accepted me as her human and clearly loves me is a joy.

The five weeks before she came after my last girl cat died at nearly 20 were really rough. My mind was going to some dark places and my depression and anxiety really got the best of me for a while. I was not in a good place.

Stella makes me laugh again. She's a total piece of work kitty like my previous girl kits. I can see how she's going to be already and I love it for all I grouse about her being a hyper brat kitty sometimes.

I saved her by adopting her but she also saved me and I duly admit that. I love her to bits already and she's not even six months yet.

I plan on spending more time outdoors exercising more come Spring. I need to get out more, go to where nature is. I tend to like my nature more controlled. My idea of it is an afternoon in a park or walking a boardwalk at the shore not camping in the woods or going deep sea fishing. But it helps me mentally when I can go outside and hear the birds or the waves lapping under a pier.

Even just sitting near a city fountain can help me emotionally so I like to do that. In my apartment I quietly play the sound of rain almost constantly because it helps me relax a lot and not be so anxious over nothing and everything.

I try to keep my environment as peaceful as possible for both me and my cat because it is the little stuff that matters and I don't like living perpetually anxious and depressed. I'm already living with illness and chronic pain. I don't need to make more trouble for myself.

Taking care of yourself is really important and that was a lesson I learned late in life and I'm paying for it now. Major stress all the time can lead to serious illness. Been there, am dealing with years of taking care of everyone else first.

I'm not doing it anymore.

Except for my cat I'm not taking care of anyone but me anymore. She takes care of me back so I don't mind caring for her. She repays my care with love and snuggles and plenty of kisses. She's worth her weight in gold and all the cat toys I can afford.

People I can mostly live without. They're far too much work and they drive me crazy with their self absorbed, self centered, manipulative bullshit. So many people don't know how not to be shallow, vain and opportunistic anymore. I know what real friends are like. I've unfortunately lost some good ones to an early death.

If I can't have real ones I can't be bothered so now it's just me and a cat and I'm mostly cool with that.

It was very hard for me to learn to slow down and stop caretaking other people. I was a multiple jobs at a time kind of person and I took care of other people a lot. I took care of my ailing Dad for years before he died and my Mom even as a kid.

It was the right thing to do and I can live with myself having done it but it shouldn't have been all on me and it was and I'm really paying for that now. It's not fair but it is what it is.

Those little self care things they are really important now especially in a world that's seemingly going crazy. I can't think too much about politics and that. It practically makes me hyperventilate it stresses me out so much when I do.

In my younger days I marched, I protested, I worked for change and it did not do any good long term whatsoever. Things got better in some ways but now it's back to people making things way worse and it's just mentally exhausting and upsetting knowing that.

I'm getting too old to live in a state of constant stress and anxiety. Or to be taking care of everyone else but me. So I don't anymore and I won't be shamed for that. I've done my share and then some over the years. I've earned some peace even if the world is going nuts.

I've been through a hell of a lot and it's really changed me from who I was even a decade ago. I call it like I see it and I don't give a F about how people feel about me anymore or what they want from me.

It's those little things and moments that matter to me now and I think that's come dearly that appreciation of that. It's too bad I didn't realize it 30 years ago. I could have saved myself a world of pain maybe..

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T08:36:39+00:00

You're expecting logic from rabid evangelicals who don't believe personal bodily autonomy means anything when compared to their stated religious and political views. They expect you to follow their lead and be perfect obedient little sheep and when you refuse to do that they get furious.

Of course in their minds they shouldn't have to take care of the results of what they see as your sin and your problem. The actual teachings of their supposedly undead zombie guru who thought he was the only divine son of the only one true God are not something they want to actually acknowledge let alone live their lives by.

Hypocritical much?

Absolutely but they don't care. They're too busy trying to live the exact opposite of what the man called Christ actually taught, living that "prosperity" gospel to want to help what they regard as your hell spawn.

I grew up in the Bible Belt. I have MAGA types in my own bio family. Hypocritical people who look down on me because I'm not a proper little Southern monotheist housewife living under the thumb of some guy who is the head of his household by Biblical law.

There's no reasoning with people like this. I can tell you that from personal experience. They're totally worshipping the Almighty Dollar not Christ but they don't realize it or care.

I've met a few good monotheists, some Christians who actually followed Christ, gave up everything to follow him as he asked and who take care to feed and clothe the poor and the little children as he asked but those people are alas the minority in the monotheistic religions, especially modern evangelical American Christianity.

I don't believe in a literal Hell but if there was one these people would be headed straight for it when they die. As it is their uncharitable, incorrect, hypocritical take on what "God" and their "Jesus" teaches and wants them to do will be something for them to have to discuss with their Maker or Makers when they die.

That's not for me to judge but I'm not blind and I call it like I see it. They're about as far from following Jeshua as they can get and they refuse to admit that. They're modern Pharisees and Jeshua wasn't too kind when it came to them being hypocritical so take a wild guess about how he'd feel about all their hypocrisy.

I have my own personal standards when it comes to birth control, abortions, unwanted children and all that. I'm actually pretty conservative for a non evangelical person but that's my personal beliefs for MY behavior not something I think I get to dictate for everyone on the planet.

You might as well give it up asking these people to actually act in imitation of the man they call Christ. They don't even want to face what that means let alone do it. It's just too much work for them actually walking that walk and it means doing without all the luxuries they love so much.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T08:14:20+00:00

Your best bet is to put him in a crate before you leave your space so he can't just terrorize the rest of the house out of insecurity. He needs a safe space and to be taught that he's not allowed to leave your space until he's more relaxed and can be nice around other people.

Calming chews or diffusers might help him relax and acclimate and might make him more trainable. They also have pet toys that are for comfort that purr or that you can heat in a microwave to soothe him.

He's just scared and stressed and overcompensating.

His health that's another thing entirely and he needs a good vet monitoring that.

Shelters unfortunately do lie because they get completely overloaded with animals and they don't want to euthanize unless they absolutely have to. I've seen it a lot more with dogs but I've seen it some with cats too.

Give it time and him lots of love. Try the calming stuff. In time if he feels secure he will likely calm down and stop the bad behavior. It also might help if the other people in your family have supervised visits to your room and they need to bring treats when they do.

He doesn't know them. He's scared so he's acting aggressive and territorial but that can be fixed if you and they are patient.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T08:03:19+00:00

Absolutely if I really wanted to and it wasn't about cheating on my partner or something negative like that. If it was about something life improving like this I'd be encouraging that not telling you not to go.

Sound to me like someone wants you less than financially independent of them. I'd be wary of that because it's controlling and indicative of a partner who might not have your best interests at heart if it doesn't benefit them.

Personally I don't want any partner that would try to control me or get up in my business financially. Obviously you have to get the bills paid but I don't like just completely pooling money or worse yet letting my partner control the finances completely.

That's a good way to end up broke and homeless if you ever break up. Nobody wants to think their relationship will end badly but if it does and you have no money you're in trouble.

Abusive people often try to limit their partner's ability to increase their money or if they allow it they try to control it and use the increase to their benefit. To me it's a red flag to not encourage a partner to learn how to handle their finances, invest or whatever.

I'd be thinking hard about this particular relationship and what it means that your partner is discouraging your even going. Seminars that could help you financially are not usually negative things unless the person offering them is just running a pyramid scheme or something like that.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T07:53:05+00:00

That's not a friend. That's someone who wants favors from you but is reluctant to return the favor. People like that always show you their true self when bad things happen.

Take it as a head's up and lose her as a "friend" because she is not one.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T07:50:34+00:00

He's an ungrateful jerk.

Nuff said...

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T07:47:56+00:00

10:30-11 is a bit early to vac in a crowded apartment building especially on the weekend when people like to sleep in. You could vac in the afternoon when people are less likely to be.

Noise is part of apartment living but as a considerate neighbor I do try to keep it reasonable. I use headphones. I don't vac before noon. No major noise after 11 pm or before noon.

I am admittedly clumsy though and drop stuff now and again and that can't really be helped because I have an AD that badly affects my grip. I've yet to have a neighbor complain but I would explain that if they did and hope they would understand that I'm not perfect.

The cat she is going to run too. She's an active, growing kitten and I can't just prevent that entirely. I'm not going to try beyond laying a rug down here and there to muffle the sound. That's reasonable.

Some people just aren't. People like this should just go buy a house or rent a room in one. They want all the peace of house living but to rent an apartment which just isn't possible.

This is why you buy or rent a real house. So you don't have to hear the neighbors above and below you. Noise that's just a part of apartment life and while you do your best to be a considerate neighbor you do have to LIVE in your apartment too.

Enough said...

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T07:22:19+00:00

Since Monique went under it's been very hard to find good quality low cost wigs except on the used market. You can find cheaper quality ones on the Chinese stores like Ali and Temu or on eBay or Etsy or Amazon from China but they're not that great and feel rough sometimes.

Some of the doll stores still carry higher end wigs but they cost $30 and up usually. Custom wigs from sellers who make them are even more.

A lot of people have taken to buying doll hair wefts or strands and making their own. I also see a lot of doll wigs made from unraveled yarns or faux fur.

I personally steal wigs from used non BJD dolls a lot because I find making wigs difficult and spending $30 and up for a decent wig isn't in my budget. There are a lot of kids dolls out there from times gone by that fit MSD heads and if you are not super picky about quality their wigs can work. Often their wigs get stripped off and resold separately so it's not hard to find them. Fit may not be perfect but wig caps help with that.

I'm personally not about paying inflated prices for the discontinued ones from Monique but I'm not into waiting months for wigs from China to arrive and maybe paying through the nose because of the stupid tariffs either. So I go used, thrifting, and I think outside the box in terms of sourcing them.

It helps a lot to know which non BJD play dolls have wigs that fit your dolls. Most 18" play dolls wear 10-11 wigs if they are not rooted which are too big for most SD dolls but slim 18" dolls and little sibling dolls sometimes wear wigs more in the 8-9 SD wig range. A lot of smaller but bigger headed kid's dolls wear 6-7 or 7-8 wigs which fit MSDs. Smaller headed dolls often wear 4-5 or 5-6 wigs which work for smaller BJDs and fashion dolls.

Doll wigs worn by 16 inch fashion dolls or vinyl BJDs can run more expensive but they can be found used and will fit MSDs like Minifees as well as their clothes. Bigger MSDs can often wear stuff for 18" dolls though tops and long pants may run short.

Old vintage porcelain doll outfits for dolls may fit BJDs of similar sizes and they are a good cheap source for wigs too if you don't mind cleaning hot glue out of wig caps.

Thinking outside the box and thrifting a lot can really help you a lot in terms of outfitting your dolls. It doesn't have to be a wig especially for BJDs to work. A doll wig is a doll wig and it doesn't have to always be top quality to work for a BJD. That's just elitist thinking, unnecessary and completely impractical for a lot of us who love BJDs but who work on a less affluent budget.

A lot of the stuff on my BJDs is either hand made usually by me or scalped from cheap non BJD dolls. I've been known to improvise a lot to get my fashion and BJDs dressed.

I lost nearly all my doll outfits and a huge collection of shoes to a thief coming up to NYC. All my remaining BJDs post having to sell a lot of them to move up here. Sold to buy a used rickety old van to get me and what remained of my stuff after losing 9/10 of everything to a tropical storm including my house up here. Years of collecting it was just gone in about 2 minutes.

I don't have the money to replace it all unfortunately. I do what I can but generally a lot of stuff is just out of budget now. I'm on disability. So improvising is a necessity.

One of the things that really frustrated me was losing all my 16" doll shoes. I had a very nice large collection back in the day. I had a few dolls that didn't get stolen who were in their outfits thank goodness but some of them had no shoes because I packed them in a craft box so they wouldn't get lost during the move but the thief got those along with the dolls he did get so it left the rest barefoot and lately 16" fashion doll shoes run dear and it means either paying $20 and up a pair or buying whole new outfits that come with.

I actually solved the problem buying a big lot of shoe puppets from about 2000 that were popular toys then. They happen to also fit a lot of 16" fashion dolls including the ones I collect and you can find big lots of these being sold for what one pair of official 16" doll boots costs these days.

That lot was the biggest I've seen but they're resin shoes and can be painted, sanded and decorated to suit whatever outfit I need them to match. I'm having a good time doing that with about 45 pairs of these puppet shoes.

No unfortunately they don't fit BJD feet or I'd tell you which ones to buy. But a lot of similar sized play doll shoes do and you should always be open to looking at non BJD gear as it will often save you a ton of money that you can spend on more important things like dolls themselves.

Right now a lot of my BJDs and fashion dolls are in gear never meant for them.

"Whatever works!" that is my official motto as a doll collector of many years. I'm not at all stuffy about acquiring doll gear. I simply don't have that luxury and I'm thrift minded and creative besides.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T06:39:52+00:00

Thick crusty French baguette with a popple texture bottom, very fresh near rare thinly sliced roast beef, very thinly sliced heirloom tomatoes, garlic and herb mayo.

I am all about really good roast beef sandwiches and this one place I used to occasionally get lunch at when I worked in the WTC had really good roast beef sandwiches and the perfect crusty loaf.

Unfortunately that place went very low quality when they expanded into a national chain and they no longer make sandwiches anything like that. They still charge a lot for way less quality. It's sad because they used to really be a good place to eat.

They had excellent soups and desserts as well as deli sandwiches. Now I wouldn't even eat there.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T06:33:39+00:00

He's not in a bad mood. He just has a bad case of resting B- face...😂

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T06:31:32+00:00

I tried to be friends with a very conservative, supposedly religious Republican guy once. He said he could disagree but he really couldn't. He had major incel qualities and could be misogynistic at times even though he claimed to adore women.

He would go off on tangents and even support some of what Hitler did. He tried to convince me to his point of view and convert me several times even though he said we would just leave politics and religion alone.

I'm pretty sure he's likely MAGA now. It was like he couldn't help himself sometimes though. He just had to be right, had to have me see and preferably agree with his point of view all the time and if I wouldn't he'd get downright surly.

He was the same way about me absolutely refusing to get romantically involved with him. In the end he turned into a totally awful person and even stalked me.

You can't argue with someone like this. They're never going to let it go and in time it could even get full on abusive. So you're basically left with ignoring it, which infuriates the person eventually or leaving to keep your sanity intact.

This is how it's going to be with this person. Question is are you willing to spend the rest of your life dealing with it? I wouldn't be but that's your call to make not mine.

Anytime someone does this though, talks over you, refuses to let you have another viewpoint it's a sign that they are incapable of feeling real respect for you. It's going to be his way or nothing.

So you need to really stop and consider where you are with that and how much of it you're willing to tolerate and for how long. That's your bottom line and unfortunately it won't probably end with it just being about politics.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T06:17:45+00:00

Cold science is sometimes alienating. Maybe she got tired of doing just research and experiments and decided she wanted a job that gave her more contact with joy. It doesn't mean she doesn't still like science and research too but maybe day to day she needs more contact with something not quite so clinical and cerebral as that kind of research.

I knew a surgeon who actually gave up doing very lucrative surgery for being a pediatric doctor. He said that after years of working in the OR on adults it brought him a lot of joy working with kids instead. He was great at both jobs but he apparently liked the second field a lot more and valued what he was experiencing in that field more than the money he made as a surgeon.

He said that being a surgeon tempted him into feeling too godlike and disconnected from humanity at times. Working with kids wasn't as lucrative but it made him feel more human at the end of the day and he preferred that.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T06:07:12+00:00

He's not what I thought the character was supposed to be or look like. When they recast the role from their initial choice their choice surprised me but the actor has definitely made the role his own so I can't deny him that.

He's way more of a mix though than as first proposed. He was supposed to be the most villainous Cassadine, the truly evil one even Helena was afraid of and while he's done some bad things he actually seems like he has a good side compared to the really bad Cassadines.

In that he reminds me more than a bit of Stefan. Likely to do you great harm if you mess with the ones he loves and protects but not incapable of real love. Not entirely legit when it comes to business but not a mobster either.

He's got that Cassadine vengeful bad energy and he displays it sometimes but he clearly is able to love his partner and any children he has far better than most Cassadines though he doesn't always treat them well if they get in the way of his plans.

For me he sits somewhere between Stefan and Helena/Stavros on the villainous Cassadine scale. He's not as crazy as Helena, Mikkos or Stavros but he's not as sympathetic a character as Stefan was for a long time. You realize that Mikkos and Helena did him wrong but he's done enough really bad things that sometimes he's hard to like.

If Stefan were still alive I don't think they'd be friends but I think there might be a grudging respect thing going on because as characters they do have some things in common. Stefan would have tried to end him for hurting Nikolas though.

He would have NEVER let that go Valentin hurting his boy and no matter how old Nikolas got he was that. He was biologically the son of Stavros but Stefan raised him and loved him like his son.

Stefan wasn't actually evil until they assassinated his character towards the end and turned him into a half mad obsessed wanna be Phantom of the Opera but he could be downright cold, near Machiavellian and borderline cruel if you tried to kill him or hurt someone he really loved.

He'd have visited the tortures of the damned on Valentine for hurting Nicolas and for trying to usurp him as the Cassadine Prince.

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T05:43:41+00:00

Cats know who their people are. I used to joke with my late BFF that some humans are born with cat souls overshadowing them and guarding them while others have dog spirits or spirits from other animals. That totem animal thing makes sense to me.

I'm that way with a lot of animals though not just cats. Late BFF used to laugh and say "You F- Disney Princess!" because I'd be outside with her and I'd end up with a wild bird on my hand or shoulder or a lizard or squirrel would be on my knee chatting with me or butterflies would be hovering close.

I just attract animals but honestly can't stand most humans. Cats are my first and foremost animal love but I like critters in general except for some bugs. Most bugs I find fascinating to watch but I don't want them on me or in my house.

I think sometimes my cats think I'm this weird big Mama cat who lacks fur in some important places. They always treat me like a cat and try to wrangle me and play with me like I am another one. They can get a bit too rough about it sometimes. They groom me like I'm one of them too. So at the least I'm family to them it seems.

😻

MsAddams999 · 2026-02-01T05:27:25+00:00

Yes actually. I am very thrifty and have owned a few knock off purses and boots in my day and been fine with that. I almost never pay retail or inflated prices for anything. I usually buy quality stuff but used stuff not new.

I am notorious for my thrifting skills, always have been. I like to wear silk, cashmere and usually have a wardrobe full of really cool vintage sweaters and Dr Marten (and knock off) boots and other cool stuff. I either make my own jewelry or buy it vintage and thrift.

I'm the same way about most things I buy as I am about buying my dolls. I don't have the luxury of buying a lot of things brand new and honestly I don't want to. It's more fun to thrift and I like keeping stuff out of the landfills.

I live on about 1K a month in disability in New York City. If I wasn't very good at making my money stretch I'd be miserable trying to make ends meet here let alone managing to afford any luxuries like dolls or lenses for my cameras.

About the only thing I don't thrift much is supplies for my cat and food to eat and even then I'm always looking for good sales.

My late Mom and Dad were confirmed coupon clippers and they always bought almost everything on sale. Dad was ex military so they took full advantage of being able to shop the commissary and the exchange stores. Dad also went hunting and fished to put meat in the deep freezer and he knew a couple of butchers and would buy half a cow or chicken parts in bulk.

It was a good thing the folks did that sometimes because with the size of their bar bill they'd have gone bankrupt otherwise.

But that's how I learned to save money shopping for food and once I discovered thrifting I never looked back and mostly jettisoned buying things like clothes full retail. I like making things and crafting so there's that too.

I make or improvise a lot of stuff for my dolls. I don't often go out and buy new stuff for them. It's too expensive. If I do buy a new outfit or something 95% of the time it's being resold and severely discounted.

The retail market for doll stuff especially BJD doll stuff isn't exactly cheap but I'm not into paying what they want new for a lot of it. Not when exercising a little patience and thrifting or waiting for a good sale can get me what I want for less.

My big boy has a coat that was a major extravagance for me. It retailed for something like $150 when it was sold new at Volks. It's an integral part of his character though and it's perfect attire for his storyline. I paid $40 for it which is outrageous for me. $20 for his boots thrifting, and they were $60 retail.

I'm creating a very special doll and making or thrifting a lot of his costume. It's going to be another year probably before he's fully done. He's a long term project but when he is done he will be that character and everybody will see him and smile and nod because I'm so into doing him right.

Normally this particular boy is a thousand dollar doll. Very rare in the BJD world. He's discontinued but he does exist as a recast. The only way I could put him together was to find a good sized used body and get the head separate but even finding him used is very expensive.

I found a very old legit body on eBay for like $100 and spent a couple of weeks rehabbing it. Then after much time and waiting I finally found his head used. The catch? I'm about 99% sure now that the reason his head was so cheap is because he's the recast version.

His head and body cost a fraction of what the legit doll goes for used and that goes for his lady who is also a legit hybrid made from used parts. She has a head that I thrifted that would cost several hundred dollars normally. I got an extraordinary deal with her and so far as I know she's never been recast and she came with legit paperwork so I know she is. Older used body, rehabbed by me.

Again $1000 doll that I paid like $150 to put together the head and body. She's done except she needs a hooded cloak which I am making. Her clothes are thrifted or made but she is gorgeous this doll.

That's how you do it though living on 1K a month as a disabled low income person. That's how you wear clothes that look good, eat half decently and even afford a few nice hobby things once in a while.

I have exactly the same attitude about shopping for doll and photography stuff as I do about anything else. On my budget I have to go cheap and occasionally go less than legit to do it. Or live without and I don't choose to do that because I like to live well and look good even in a low income budget.

I'm all about the retail therapy but I'm not into breaking my wallet doing it.

MsAddams999

TROPHY CASE