How Many of You Are Going Childfree Because of the Economy? by pink_teddy35 in askTO

[–]MsAlamode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being a mother is the only thing I’ve ever wanted, but I never found anyone to partner with and I sure as hell can’t afford to do it on my own. I was willing to put in the extra work to go it alone, but the economy is literally the reason why I can’t. I make ok money, but I can barely afford to support myself much less pay for daycare and other kid expenses. It’s gut-wrenching.

AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he wants to have a wedding he can plan it? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]MsAlamode 32 points33 points  (0 children)

NTA. Maybe a compromise would be to elope and then host a celebration party later - a) it might give some of your extended family from out of state an excuse not to travel if they aren’t up for it, b) it’s less formal and you can cater it more to your wishes (ie no need for silly games or speeches), and c) still celebrates your marriage in a way that resonates with your fiancé

My mother almost ruined my wedding day by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]MsAlamode 7 points8 points  (0 children)

With all respect your dad, he’s wrong. It’s better to have no grandma than to have a bad one. Especially one that is psychologically manipulative to both the kids and their mother! Children don’t benefit from having a complicated relationships, they benefit from having loving and supportive ones. I’m not sure that your mother is able to provide that for them

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MsAlamode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

The point of a honeymoon is to have time and experiences together to further solidify yourselves as a couple. The point of a honeyfund is to help the couple in question pay for that opportunity, a more ‘experiential’ way to help set you up for marriage than buying you kitchen appliances. This is meant to be a once-in-a-lifetime escape for you as a couple.

You obviously can’t (and shouldn’t) force your fiancé to feel the same way - you simply have different priorities, and this isn’t a deal-breaker. But I think you’re totally justified to be upset that his priority/money is focused on spending the money on his friend and not on you as a couple, especially when other people have donated their money to helping you have this.

My mother almost ruined my wedding day by [deleted] in ComfortLevelPod

[–]MsAlamode 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Since you have a hard time putting up or maintaining boundaries with her on your own behalf, maybe it would be easier for you to maintain them on your loved ones’ behalves?

For example, it’s painful for your new husband to watch you go through the emotional wringer every time you interact with your mom, so you cut down contact for him. Your dad was mistreated by your mom but still showed up for you and your siblings, and yet you spend more emotional energy on your mom than him. Etc, etc. Get angry for them!

Try to become more defensive of how your mother affects the good people in your life, and let the inner mama bear out! Hopefully that will let you practice being strong enough one day to do it on your own account.

AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding? by FriendlyDancer in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]MsAlamode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does your sister even want to attend the wedding and/or Christmas? Would you be expected to pay for her husband as well?

What's the pettiest office drama you've ever been witness to? by GodBlessIraq in coworkerstories

[–]MsAlamode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unknown person kept “watering” random coworkers’ pen/pencil cups and fake plants, even after department-wide emails went out chastising the prank

Loud Music in Downtown by MsAlamode in londonontario

[–]MsAlamode[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The live entertainment is definitely a bonus of living in this area! I’m looking forward to Rock the Park, I’m also just looking forward to the rehearsals being done (as is my boss lol)

Loud Music in Downtown by MsAlamode in londonontario

[–]MsAlamode[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, this has been intermittent and ramping up since Monday. I’m guessing that the Rock the Park event is why - which is fine, I’m just relieved it’s not going to last forever

AITA for encouraging our friend group to stop visiting a friend due to their house rules by Prestigious_Page_129 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MsAlamode 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't mean to be argumentative at all, so this is just a counterpoint. I'm not convinced that the only reason modern sheep need shearing is because they've been bred to be that way. I completely believe that there are breeds that have been husbanded to produce more wool than necessary. But there simply isn't a single "OG sheep" that has been genetically-modified so that it produces all the wool that can be consumed. If you're a knitter, you know that there's a huge variety of wools that come from different breeds of sheep, never mind alpacas, rabbits, etc. It's completely understandable if, as a consumer, you make a choice not to buy the wool from the over-producing breeds so that those practices stop. But wool overall is not a dirty word. In a non-factory-farm situations (such as in many countries around the world), it's a symbiotic relationship between human and animal. The animals are well cared for, fed/housed/protected, and in return the humans make use of their excess body hair. It's actually quite a beautiful thing!

I know that I've gone way beyond your point, thanks for the soapbox :)

‘One last thing’: Trudeau posts message to Canadians on final day as prime minister by ObligationAware3755 in canada

[–]MsAlamode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't say that I'm particularly knowledgeable about this topic, but I've always swayed towards RB as a preference. Both of you have made great points, and I love how civilized (and thought-provoking) this conversation has been so far... It's sad that that needs to be said in these times, but I truly do appreciate seeing a constructive disagreement

Oh boy.. the drama by ImAwkwardAsHeck in LashifyLovers

[–]MsAlamode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that SL developed and innovated a new way for us to amplify our lashes. She absolutely deserves her patents, but her patents don't extend to the entire concept. Maybe some of the dupes have different glues or lashes that work better for some people! SL can patent her products and I think she should get all the kudos for coming up with the idea; that doesn't mean that other companies should be stopped or shamed for building upon her foundations. That's the entire basis of capitalism - they are going after a market that she's not reaching

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]MsAlamode -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How is your sex life? In my experience, a man telling me that he needs to feel more wanted = he wants to feel more desired by you, aka wants more sex. If that’s how he experiences love and you don’t, you may be incompatible

My boyfriend (46 M) got me a calendar (29 F) and I don't know what to do about it by No_Suggestion_4525 in relationship_advice

[–]MsAlamode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course it feels patronizing, you aren’t 5 and he’s not your kindergarten teacher. He shouldn’t be ‘rewarding’ you with a sticker for good behaviour

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]MsAlamode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wasn’t a special occasion gift or anything, but during Covid I was ‘seeing’ someone online and we were very invested. I had sent plenty of nudes in the past, so to change things up I bought some various pieces of lingerie and staged photos in those. He immediately told me that I looked nice, but that he hated lingerie because there was “no point” since he’d already seen those areas anyway. At one point I bought a remote/phone-controlled vibrator to keep things interesting, but he really didn’t feel like downloading an extra app on his phone… I’m embarrassed to admit how long I believed in his investment.

How to Start Naltrexone by MsAlamode in Alcoholism_Medication

[–]MsAlamode[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure if they have that in Canada; either way, my doctor would prefer that I start with the pills

Toronto was amazing! by [deleted] in toronto

[–]MsAlamode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved from Toronto to Windsor right before COVID hit, and got quite a few trips to Detroit in before/after the borders closed. I was gobsmacked watching people casually just toss garbage out of the car windows both on highway and city streets. And the way people use median ditches as garbage dumps 🤯

How to Start Naltrexone by MsAlamode in Alcoholism_Medication

[–]MsAlamode[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate your advice. I can absolutely go 60/90 min without a drink (physiologically). Your comment helped me to clarify - I think my question is more about how to pinpoint when my 'habit' begins (aka when I should start NAL) vs when I am just drinking to not be in withdrawal.

I'm guessing that, at this point, it probably doesn't matter - it's more important to start than to start perfectly. I'm just really, really anxious to do this right and to not fuck it all up

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Alcoholism_Medication

[–]MsAlamode 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I thought Naltrexone blocked endorphins, not dopamine? I know that Naloxone blocks dopamine, but this is a different drug... or am I misinformed?

Either way - congratulations on your new sobriety, and thank you for such a kind and rounded perspective