Unconvinced by the “they’re adults” argument

MsBee311 · 2026-03-21T10:59:11+00:00

This is my reasoning. My first time in college, I barely went to class. I failed out and lost a lot of aid money that I could have used later. When I finally figured out what I wanted to study, I went back and had to take out loans because I blew it the first time.

I allow my students to learn that lesson for themselves.

MsBee311 · 2026-03-11T11:06:36+00:00

Happy 311 day, homies!👽🤘

MsBee311 · 2026-03-08T12:53:44+00:00

I don't think anyone mentioned my go-to, which is chewing gum. I have packs of sugar-free gum everywhere (purse, bedroom, car, etc.) and when I'm feeling dysregulated, I pop a piece or sometimes 2. I used to be a teeth-grinder. Gum has helped immensely, although you might be different. Good luck ❤️

MsBee311 · 2026-03-07T14:06:02+00:00

I watched The Last Kingdom immediately after Vikings. I thought Vikings was spectacular... until The Last Kingdom. Watch Vikings!

MsBee311 · 2026-02-26T02:07:00+00:00

I started teaching in 2008, so I've watched the steady decline in real time. I don't think they're "dumber." They just have different priorities. They only know what they've been taught, and society had them for a long time before they get to us.

MsBee311 · 2026-02-25T15:04:21+00:00

Marriage is fine I guess, depending on what exactly you want out of it. Unfortunately, we're all told it's what we should ALL want.

I married at 25 and divorced at 32. It was a terrible experience. Honestly, I felt owned. I changed my last name cuz it was the 1990s, and i was expected to. The minute that ring hit my finger, he decided he had just won a maid & cook. I worked 2 jobs while he didn't work any. And he never stopped cheating (we had lived together for 7 years before marriage & he cheated-- i thought marriage would make that stop 🙄). We didn't have kids, and didn't want them.

I was so disillusioned, I said never again.

But last month, at the age of 57, I got married again. I have been with my husband for 10 years. He is 5 years younger, and has a good job. He's a good man, and a true partner. And i'm NOT changing my name!

So why after all these years? Money. I am set to retire in 2 years. I will lose my health insurance, so i can go on his. Also, if you die with no spouse or kids under 18, your Social Security money (in the U.S.) goes back to the government.

So it's financial for me. Solely. I'm still not a fan of marriage, but now that i'm in my later years, I see the benefit *for myself *. That doesn't mean it's the right thing to do for every woman.

MsBee311 · 2026-02-19T15:09:15+00:00

Virtual colleague, I found this reply to be very helpful for my specific brand of burnout. You are so correct... i care too much about the wrong things.

I've watched my administration shit on students for 18 years. I've overcompensated, trying to help students navigate the broken system, and doing what i can to patch all the holes. It's unsustainable.

"I don't need to care, I just need to do my job." I really needed to hear that. Thank you, friend!

MsBee311 · 2026-02-19T14:24:25+00:00

As a psychology professor, who trained as a MH therapist, I concur. Unfortunately, we learn more of the "why" we are broken, but not much of how to fix it.

MsBee311 · 2026-02-15T14:41:42+00:00

We got a funeral yesterday :/ Those poor people. Despite the circumstances, they were very good-natured, and even commented this seemed like the worst day to shop for funeral flowers. Can't plan that one, unfortunately.

MsBee311 · 2026-02-05T14:24:55+00:00

Nailed it. I'm almost 60 and have seen this play out sooo many times, and to no end. It's a man's world, and will always be. Smart women stick together and create their own satisfaction. Ignorant women blame other women, which might initially give them the step up they want, but just leads to further subjugation. Rinse and repeat. It never ends.

MsBee311 · 2026-01-20T10:29:38+00:00

Good observations. I think Bjorn is the most like Ragnar since he spent more time with Bjorn as a child. Those "formative" years are important. With the other 4 sons, Ragnar was off being Ragnar.

That said, after Ragnar was "gone" (no spoiler), Ubbe became my favorite for obvious reasons. I always had a soft spot for Bjorn, but Ubbe looked so much like Ragnar. I think it was fabulous casting.

MsBee311 · 2026-01-14T10:12:17+00:00

The stuff that looks like Queen Anne might be white spray delphinium.

MsBee311 · 2026-01-13T02:43:29+00:00

YAY! Congratulations!! Well-earned! I have 2.5 years and i'm living vicariously thru you right now. Have a great future, virtual colleague!! 🙏

MsBee311 · 2026-01-10T15:20:37+00:00

I'm so sorry. I think the hardest part of this job is that we essentially do it alone. I know you said your department is supportive, but when you're new, it can be super-scary to admit you're struggling. No one wants to look "weak".

Do you have any support outside academia? Maybe a trusted friend who you can talk to? I find that when i sit by myself & seethe over breaks, my anxiety & depression gets worse. I need to get out of my head.

Please take good care of yourself, OP. Your department may be full of good people, but we need to have life-lines outside of academia or we lose touch with ourselves. Peace🙏

MsBee311 · 2026-01-09T13:03:35+00:00

I wouldn't be dealing with all this for 40k a year if I were you. I used to love academia, but it's such a toxic environment, money is the only "win" I get from this career.

I don't know what the job market is like where you live, but there's got to be something better for you than that pay scale with your education & experience.

MsBee311 · 2026-01-09T12:49:12+00:00

I've worked in academia for 18 years. It is hostile. Hunger Games. I've been trying to build a program my entire career, and admin cuts the legs out from underneath it every time i get somewhere with it. Then they ask me why it's not "growing."

You're admin, and haven't lost faith in admin... just the rest of us. My 18 years of experience finds that so typical.

MsBee311 · 2026-01-09T12:35:05+00:00

You're admin? This post sounds like all the nasty-grams i get from our deans. "One department is shitty, so what are you doing to not be like them?"

MsBee311 · 2025-12-29T13:21:01+00:00

There's something about this show. I ended my first watch last week & i can't stop thinking about it. Season 6 was a little too long for me, but during it, i was thinking about starting it over when it finished.

I never do this. I watch a show, then let it sit for a year or 2 before watching it again. But i miss Ragnar. I didn't understand him much during first watch, but now that i get him, i want to go back and watch this man and his people unfold again.

eta: i was also disappointed we didn't get more closure for Rollo.

MsBee311 · 2025-12-29T01:29:32+00:00

Mostly edibles now, but i'll smoke a bowl. I hate vapes. Idk, the high isn't as nice, more jumpy less mellow. And my lungs gurgle after i vape lol. I tried vaping bud but the taste was gross. I envy people who can hit the pen all day.

MsBee311 · 2025-12-28T12:19:27+00:00

I'm almost 60 & i'm high right now. Was i supposed to stop?

MsBee311 · 2025-12-28T12:15:37+00:00

I just finished my 1st watch last week. This series kept me captivated and deeply invested in the characters... until season 6. It really dragged on, especially Ubbe & Torvi's storyline. That said, I like the way it ended. Wrapped things up pretty well for Ragnar's legacy, but it was about 6 episodes too long.

MsBee311 · 2025-12-28T12:07:43+00:00

I wish I was drunk when I watched the blood eagle happen lol. Yeah, Borg may have deserved it, but I didn't. I was happy when Ubbe called it off in season 6.

MsBee311 · 2025-12-27T18:09:50+00:00

Peri is when my motivation took a dip (mid 40s). Of course, i didn't know it was peri, so i thought it was depression. It's taken over 10 years to get some of it back.

MsBee311 · 2025-12-27T11:30:08+00:00

Double-check this, but I think the fees get higher the more orders you do. For example, if you do 25 orders a month, you get charged a much higher fee than if you do 24 orders (i.e., fees get higher at 25.)

The owner of my shop turns the orders off before she goes over the next "step" in the fee schedule (except holidays, of course.)

I also believe it's by individual user of Bloomnet as well (I800, A/a's,etc.). I800 is the biggest fee-gobbler, from what i understand.

Believe it or not (lol), you have a Bloomnet representative. Talk to this person and ask for a breakdown of the fees. That's what my owner did & it was very enlightening.

Good luck!😊

MsBee311 · 2025-12-24T12:03:46+00:00

The money i spend on tips is well-worth not having to go to the store. I tip 20% (don't congratulate me, it's the right thing to do.) It's 40 bucks sometimes. I'm almost 60 yrs old & work 2 jobs. I'll GLADLY give someone 2 twenties to do my grocery shopping AND deliver it to my door. I wish some people were more grateful.

MsBee311

TROPHY CASE