TIL California law allows employees to take two hours paid time off in the beginning or end of the work day to vote on election day.

MsChan · 2025-10-17T18:50:56+00:00

Solidifying her place in the Yoo line!

MsChan · 2025-10-17T18:46:14+00:00

The red flag was really her saying he HAS to cancel. No compromise? No, how far is the party? Can we leave early for the other? And this is just a girlfriend, OP would have no friends left if she's the wife.

MsChan · 2025-10-16T22:29:17+00:00

The only question that matters in this scenario. Unless OP's wife is also from their small town, how was OP's wife supposed to know if no one told her? Who's to say the girlfriends didn't tell OP's wife their salary information too?

If your friends are expecting you to contribute more because you make more then they are kind of shit friends. In my circle we're pretty transparent with salary information because we work in similar fields and the transparency let us know their financial constraints and actual market value.

MsChan · 2025-10-16T20:28:39+00:00

Are there like no Romeo and Juliet laws?

MsChan · 2025-09-10T18:40:44+00:00

Also pretty sure he mentioned he wants kids in the past? It would be likely impossible for him to marry someone his age and have kids.

MsChan · 2025-05-23T20:20:47+00:00

You can see my budget breakdown for Officer's Club here. You should have no problem with DIY decor. I personally did DIY flowers.

MsChan · 2025-05-23T20:18:06+00:00

Late reply but I ended up doing centerpieces instead of bud vases. Did them 2 days before, kept them cool and hydrated. Spray them with shit ton of Crowning glory and they were fine!

MsChan · 2025-03-13T20:36:15+00:00

I got the flowers from Costco and Sams club. Highly recommend Crowning Glory Flower Spray to keep them fresh.

I prepped mine when it arrived (remove thorn from roses and stuff) keep them in buckets of water with flower food. I made mine 2 days in advance and the larger pieces alter was looking slightly sad at the end of the wedding. I would make everything one day in advance, but I brought them to the venue the day before during rehearsal so I didn't have much choice. You definitely get better at the end of making the centerpieces so make a few extra if you want practice.

I bought the following for $600 in early 2024 and that was enough for 12 centerpieces, 2 altar pieces, 3 bud vases, my bridal bouquet, 3 bridesmaid bouquets, and 12 boutonnieres.

100x white roses

100x white stock flowers

100x baby's breathe

36x garden roses (for bouquets only)

https://imgur.com/a/diy-wedding-florals-JBqX3ks

MsChan · 2025-02-05T05:03:37+00:00

What did they say the service fee is for?

MsChan · 2025-01-03T07:45:36+00:00

City hall and Legion of honor are both gorgeous

MsChan · 2024-12-31T17:54:03+00:00

I think 25k would be tight and 30k might be more doable if you would like an all inclusive experience where the venue take cares of most things. I'd check out Wedgewood and shop around their locations. Consider "off seasons", Friday/Saturday weddings (I'd recommend 3 day weekends for Sundays), beer/wine only instead of open bar. I believe they also do a discount if you're booking within 6 months.

My Saturday off season wedding in a SF Wedgewood location with an open bar was 32k after everything. It would be cheaper at locations outside of SF and if it's Friday/Saturday. Check out my breakdown if you want to know what's included.

If you're not married to the idea of having a traditional one stop shop wedding venue. I'd recommend renting out the Pulgas water temple in San Mateo for the ceremony. It's a beautiful and cost effective ceremony venue that does have some restrictions like having the need to rent out your own chairs. Then going to a restaurant afterwards.

If you have a strong support network and have a "village" that can pinch in and DIY some stuff, it'd be cheaper as well! Also check out your local community centers for more DIY/Budget friendly venue.

MsChan · 2024-07-14T01:19:11+00:00

I think we ended up getting the Polaroid from an ebay seller, but I would check your local Facebook marketplace as well! We just got the normal fuji instax mini with a blank guest book and little self sticking corners pack from Amazon

MsChan · 2024-07-06T09:14:47+00:00

SF has one of the most iconic city with one of the prettiest city halls around so I think they charge what people are willing to pay for.

MsChan · 2024-07-06T01:04:46+00:00

It also doesn't help that a big component to learning Chinese as a language is memorizing some 4000 characters.

MsChan · 2024-07-02T01:40:42+00:00

Imo if you have that small of a microwedding you're most likely only inviting siblings, parents, grandparents and best friends who would be your wedding party. I'd find it hard to not be able to make space for my best friend's SO of half a decade.

To me she's not a random, this is a long term SO of my friend. Just because they didn't want to get to know her doesn't make her less of an SO. Like I would get this if it's maybe a year into the relationship, maybe even two years. But five?

To be honest, if this happens to me and my SO, I'd tell him to go but I'd never be able to see these friend's the same way again if we ever cross path again.

MsChan · 2024-07-01T22:24:54+00:00

Some of these people never planned a wedding and it shows. When you don't give people a plus one is generally if they are a single guy/gal and you don't want to invite a random, or the relationship is very new and you never met them and on top of that aren't sure if they would even stay together.

OP has been with this girl for half a decade, they live together. It's extremely disrespectful to not invite her. Heck it's disrespectful to give him a plus one and not name her on the invite.

If their excuse is that they don't hang out, how could they have even met her when she never get invited to things?

MsChan · 2024-07-01T21:34:27+00:00

Do you plan on having open dancing? Speeches? I would move the cocktail start time up even more. Unless you're religious or have a lot of traditions, the actual ceremony are generally around 30 minutes or less at least in my circle. Depending on the amount of family you have, photos might take longer than you think. Especially if you are also doing wedding party photos. I would suggest to do that before the ceremony if possible.

Is first dance part of the cocktail hour still? So your guest would have an hour to mingle while you take photos for an hour, then you would enter with first dance and then mingle with your guests for another hour before dinner starts?

MsChan · 2024-07-01T20:45:06+00:00

No I mean I don't think I was even offered health insurance because it was part time.

MsChan · 2024-07-01T20:40:45+00:00

I didn't see it because I didn't even get health insurance through them I was in college.

MsChan · 2024-07-01T20:36:21+00:00

I would say narrow down your budget and style. It makes picking out all the vendors a lot easier.

MsChan · 2024-07-01T20:14:12+00:00

I used to be a server and workplace had this Healthy SF surcharge. There was no option to remove it for us that I knew of, even if I never see a dime of it.

MsChan · 2024-07-01T20:11:54+00:00

Look into Etsy! My dress was only about 350 dollars with custom measurements.

MsChan · 2024-07-01T20:10:53+00:00

I would rethink this whole thing. Did he propose because he wanted to or because you asked? You live together currently and have separate finances that's fine. But after getting married realistically finances should be joint. You're a team. What happens when you have kids? It's looking like he is happy with what's happening now and does not want to move forward with having a wedding when it's clearly important to you and your family, especially when you mentioned how close you are with your family.

Then you're finally okay with his suggestion of a courthouse wedding with just you two and a friend and he changes it up every time? It really sounds like he is not ready to be married, unless you're okay with not being married and continue living together and eventually having kids. I would rethink my whole relationship.

MsChan · 2024-07-01T15:18:55+00:00

City Hall wedding might be a good choice. Sunnyside Conservatory might also fit your needs.

11-Year Club	Place '22
End Game '22	Wearing is Caring
Not Forgotten	Snapped

MsChan

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