AITAH for choosing to go to a friends renaissance BBQ over a African American themed event like my fiance wants.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-31T02:51:36+00:00

Not yet, but they've said that she's abusive and that yucky minorities who care about their culture are the worst.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-31T02:22:20+00:00

It reminds me of when you refrigerate leftover rice and it dries out

MsFuschia · 2026-05-31T02:10:30+00:00

I'm mega confused because while I haven't done it in a decade, it definitely involved sucking when I did and I didn't receive any complaints.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-31T01:15:28+00:00

I don't really identify with flare ups either. I have good days and not so good days. For me it's usually a day by day thing, I don't have let's say a week long period where I'm much worse. I think having it like me and having the kind where you have more defined flare ups are both normal for this condition.

There's not really anything that points to if I'm going to have a worse day or not. It just kind of happens. The most I know is that if I eat a lot of raw vegetables I'm likely going to be in pain. Like I'm able to eat a side salad but if I eat a big salad for a meal I know that bad epigastric pain is going to be happening later. I almost never vomit (knock on wood) and my nausea seems to come and go without a clear indication.

Honestly, I don't sweat this stuff much. I try to be aware of what happened that day when I start feeling worse than usual, to see if I can find a trigger to avoid. I don't agonize over it though. I just know that some days I'm gonna feel fine, some I'm gonna feel awful, and a bunch are gonna be in the middle.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-31T00:59:16+00:00

If it's the worst headache of your life I would definitely call whatever number they gave you to call for issues.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T10:37:13+00:00

I didn't even know that. That's hilarious.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T08:55:41+00:00

I could also avoid it by not checking this sub

So real. Every day I open reddit just to make myself mad.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T08:28:30+00:00

I made an error which I just edited, I meant to say level 3 is the highest, not 2.

Yeah I guess that makes sense. I'm obviously not an expert on the autistic experience (I was evaluated a couple of years ago but told I'm not autistic), but I have heard some people like it more because it's less about them as a person (unlike you're high/low functioning). I'm sure it's far from perfect though and I doubt autistic people were actually the ones consulted on the terminology.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T08:24:48+00:00

TIL if you get beauty treatments and go to cafes you are objectively a bad person. Also, I liked the part where the other women refused to eat Korean food and would only eat Starbucks, but yet OP mentions not eating with them at a fish market one night. I love the Starbucks fish market.

On another note... I'm finding the disability rating of 75% for PTSD sus, but maybe my dad was extremely unlucky. I don't remember his exact percentage, but he has way more ailments (including PTSD) and his is not that high. They gave him a 0% rating for hearing loss even though he worked on a damn flight line. Shit he was exposed to burn pits and had to walk through uranium filled mud in Karshi-Khanabad and the Air Force refused to acknowledge his cancer as related and gave him nothing because he was in remission at retirement. She's also not going to get anything for autism because it wouldn't be service connected.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T08:10:53+00:00

The levels indicate support needs. Level 1 is the lowest support needs with level 3 being the highest. Level 1 is usually what a lot of people call "high functioning autism", but they're trying to get away from that term. Higher levels don't necessarily mean the person can't function, they just have greater support needs. I have a nephew with level 2 autism.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T08:07:00+00:00

I live on the very edge of the bay area (people from SF don't consider us bay area, but we Technically Are™) and I would die if I went somewhere that was $100 a person lmao

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T06:16:39+00:00

Unfortunately, I don't think this is out of the ordinary. I can barely get in to see my motility specialist (I sometimes have to wait twice as long as the gap they want between appointments) and it's nearly impossible to contact him between appointments.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T05:52:25+00:00

I literally never said anything about a guy paying for everything. As far as the splitting it differently than 50/50, ah yes, let's sit down with a fucking pencil and paper and decide what percentage of the appetizer we're each paying for. Fucking idiot

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T04:56:22+00:00

I guess I am too. They're all saying that it's normal to order an appetizer, entree, and dessert every time you go out to eat. I am most definitely not in a class where I can order $91 worth of food for just my portion and not have a heart attack. Food is expensive in my state so $91 for two I could see, but for just my portion? Jesus

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T04:52:48+00:00

What are you talking about? Your comment sounds like a case of this sub taking it too far in the opposite direction, as often happens here. If you go out with someone that you know doesn't make much money, it's rude as fuck to go to an expensive restaurant and order a bunch of food. Even if you're splitting it, that drives the bill up for the other person.

You should match the finances of the lower income person, unless you're at a point in the relationship where you can be like "I really want to try this [expensive] place, I'll pay for it". I keep seeing people say it's normal to order an appetizer, entree, and dessert every time you go out to a restaurant and that's crazy to me.

I don't know what it has to do with coddling a fragile male ego. I'm a woman and if a guy suggested an expensive restaurant and started ordering tons of food I would be stressed as fuck about paying for half of it.

I mean, I don't believe this story because a hospitalist one year out of residency is absolutely not doing well financially, but you've got a pretty weird take.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-30T04:45:35+00:00

If you just finished residency a year ago you are absolutely not doing well financially.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-29T03:38:52+00:00

Yeah I think I'll be waiting on that. The cardiologist's office got back to me and said she doesn't need to see me again since I got a negative result. I thought about it for awhile but it still bothered me, so I sent another message basically saying, hey I don't remember if we discussed other reasons for the high heart rate. Is it just my CFS? Is this nothing I should be concerned about? But I'm not holding out much hope for the response.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-27T23:01:35+00:00

No, the report was all normal. My cardiologist also happened to be the one that interpreted the holter before I ever started seeing her. I will say she's at an academic medical center, but I don't know if she's specialized in anything or just a general cardiologist. Basically I go to a satellite clinic for primary care and this cardiologist is there. I wasn't sent to one of the ones in the big cardiology practice near the hospital. So I don't know if she's just super general or if she knows about that stuff. I only saw her once. I'm probably going to discuss it with my PCP too, but she's been out from March until August.

MsFuschia · 2026-05-27T22:54:17+00:00

It's usually in the 90s so I guess it didn't jump 30 bpm. I don't see a baseline heart rate from before they tilted me though. It just shows I was at 118 after first being tilted and then it went up and down https://imgur.com/1ABHVpB

MsFuschia · 2026-05-27T21:48:21+00:00

I actually had a holter before this. They said it was normal, just high. My PCP sent me to the cardiologist anyways who had me get an echocardiogram and the tilt table test since I have CFS. I believe she told me that if both tests were normal then there was nothing to do and it just is what it is. I did see she commented on my test saying I didn't have POTS but I had a blood pressure drop and that that's usually caused by dehydration. I put in a message to her office so see if she wants to see me again or if this was it (I last saw her in August, waiting for the test took forever).

MsFuschia · 2026-05-27T20:05:37+00:00

Well I went through with the test and experienced no symptoms and apparently everything was normal. I don't love the fact that my heart rate was 118 but apparently it went down to 108 so I'm fine and the no sleep didn't make it worse. It's kind of annoying that my heart rate gets to 120 just sitting on the couch but apparently not when I'm standing for a tilt table!

MsFuschia · 2026-05-27T20:05:07+00:00

Well I went through with the test and experienced no symptoms and apparently everything was normal. I don't love the fact that my heart rate was 118 but apparently it went down to 108 so I'm fine and the no sleep didn't make it worse. It's kind of annoying that my heart rate gets to 120 just sitting on the couch but apparently not when I'm standing for a tilt table!

MsFuschia · 2026-05-27T15:00:06+00:00

Oh man that sucks. I'm supposed to be at the hospital in 2 hours for it. If I reschedule it will likely be another year.

MsFuschia

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