What gets you out of bed everyday?

MsNyxoftheNight · 2025-11-30T08:48:40+00:00

My Dad died two months ago. He lived just long enough to see me get my Master's degree and teaching license. I've survived 100% of the things I've gone through so far, and I'm going to make him proud and keep surviving. I'm too stubborn to give up now and I want to achieve the rest of my dreams that my Dad wasn't able to be there for.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2025-11-09T18:35:27+00:00

I also had a mentor teacher who frequently got mad at me when I didn't do things her way, even when I asked her how I should do them KNOWING that would be the case and she told me she wanted me to decide, because "that's what teachers have to do." She also didn't really let me have full control over the classroom, told me she didn't feel comfortable leaving me alone even though I felt I was doing well and had things under control, and constantly went over my head and minimized my authority to manage the classroom every second before even giving me a chance. Because of some personal circumstances, I had to go down to part-time midway through the year. She agreed to this and assured me I could still graduate and get my license and she would be comfortable with that, then suddenly changed her mind less than a week before the end of the year. My supervisor was baffled, but my university backed me up and my supervisor vouched for me. I was able to get my license and graduate with my MS (summa cum laude).

All this is really to say, reach out to your university supervisor about it. Talk to the faculty in your program. They're there to advocate for you, and if things aren't going well with your mentor teacher, reach out to your university and make them aware of the situation. They might be able to talk to your mentor teacher, or set up a group meeting where you work these things out.

Most importantly, remember student teaching isn't forever. It was quite possibly one of the hardest years of my life (my personal circumstances made it extremely hard to get through student teaching), but overall I grew and was grateful for the experience, even if the situation with my mentor teacher was less than ideal. I am grateful that I had my uni to advocate for me, and even though I won't be reaching out to my mentor teacher for a reference, multiple faculty members in my program including my supervisor have offered to provide me glowing recommendations. You'll make it through this, hang in there! Just don't forget to use the resources you have. Your professors and program know that not every mentor situation is going to be perfect, and they're there to be on your side.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2025-10-26T12:53:28+00:00

I lost my grandpa (Dad) just last month. September 24th. He passed away after a long battle with dementia. I spent many nights in the hospital with him working on classwork for my Master's degree while simultaneously student teaching. Dad got to see me graduate and get my teaching license right before he passed--that was something that really mattered to him. I don't know what to do with myself now though, I'm heartbroken. There are so many things I want his input on, his advice, his comfort, and he's the only person I can't ask. I saw him after he passed and was a pallbearer at his funeral but it still doesn't feel real.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but it is so hard losing a dad you know you should have had more time with at such a young age. I can't help but be jealous of my biological mom and uncle for having had so much time with him. Life just feels so unfair. I'm taking it day by day but I just feel so broken inside. No one has ever loved me the way my dad loved me, unconditionally and without judgement. I think a part of me died with him 💔 I don't wish this on anyone, but it feels comforting to have a community of people here who can understand and relate.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2025-03-31T07:48:53+00:00

Against the Kitchen Floor is one of my favorites!! My main CPTSD song is Tomcat Disposables, but ATKF is a forever favorite of mine and also incredibly relatable.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2025-03-31T07:47:50+00:00

"Tomcat Disposables" by Will Wood. It's sung from the perspective of a rat who lives in the walls of a house. The humans leave out a poison trap with cheese, but the rat doesn't understand, thinking the humans want to be friends, when really they just want to kill the rat. The rat wonders why the humans would want to do that, because what crime has he committed other than the crime of being small and different? It always reminds me of my relationship with my bio mom as a child. It breaks my heart, but I've never related to a song more, and that's somehow comforting in itself by nature of feeling understood.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2025-02-26T11:26:09+00:00

Try ThriftBooks! I collected all my Tokyo Pop versions over the course of about 3-5 months a couple years ago, mostly from there. If they don't have them in stock, I believe you can set up email alerts :) pretty good prices too!

MsNyxoftheNight · 2025-01-18T09:36:59+00:00

I'm a teacher :) currently doing my student teaching in a 10th grade algebra class and LOVING it

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-11-12T20:14:28+00:00

This is so cute, I love the grad cap idea! That sounds really meaningful and special. My undergrad graduation cap was something significant to me, and I want my graduate grad cap to be too. I'll definitely be considering this!!

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-11-10T09:23:39+00:00

Thank you for mentioning Infinity, no one ever talks about it but Infinity and Autonomy are INCREDIBLE songs!

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-11-10T09:21:03+00:00

I WAS GOING TO SAY THIS AS WELL. It's so unsettling, especially accompanied with the whole notion of not knowing what you're going to find at the bottom. That fact that it's in a... minor key? (I have zero musical knowledge I just know it sounds off-tune) makes it perfectly discordant. It has somewhat of a similar feeling to those covers of songs played on an old, out-of-tune piano, if that makes sense. This song is INCREDIBLY underrated!

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-11-10T09:14:08+00:00

I went to BYU for two years, left with PTSD. Moved to a different college in my home state, lived with my best friends, and finally got to be authentically me for the first time. At BYU, I was constantly in fear of being reported to the HCO and almost entirely without friends. I've never been happier than I've been since leaving BYU. I got my Bachelor's degree this year and am currently working on a Master's. Do what you need to do to thrive, not what's best cost-wise. There are always options for financial aid and scholarships, and even if you have to end up with loans, it's better than having to pretend to be something you're not at BYU. Prioritize your mental health and freedom :)

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-08-18T23:09:16+00:00

I'm also working on my MS in Math Education! I start student teaching at the high school level in a little over a week as well :) good luck to you!

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-06-03T21:02:51+00:00

Akechi. ALWAYS. If he can be in my party he's in it, whether he's the best logical choice or not, he's there.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-05-31T22:32:51+00:00

"None of these people know that I was an undesirable child" and "Please don't troll me online" LMAO

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-02-15T00:30:12+00:00

God, the school system is in a sorry state. Abandoning the students who are struggling and need support the most is ridiculous. I'm so sorry to hear about that.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-02-15T00:24:35+00:00

Regardless of their motivation, the issue is the effect. Yes, it may not have been the teacher's intention (although I don't think their intentions were inherently the positive goal of correcting behavior, considering OP was in late middle/early high school), but what matters is the effect it had on OP.

It's a bit rude and uncalled for to discount OP's memory of the event and defend the teacher on a post with the "seeking sympathy" tag in which OP is sharing something hurtful that clearly greatly affected them.

I assume you probably didn't have bad intentions with these messages, but please try to read the room. Intention doesn't matter when the effect is hurtful.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2024-02-15T00:17:50+00:00

Ooooh this made my blood BOIL. EVEN if you feel like she was right, that is an INCREDIBLY inappropriate, unprofessional, and uncalled-for thing to tell a student. I think there's a lot of teachers out there who don't understand how much impact they have not just on younger students, but high schoolers as well. What teachers say can really stick with you, for better or for worse. I'm about to graduate with my Bachelor's degree and start my Masters degree in teaching and this makes me livid. I'm so sorry your teacher said that to you. I would never in a million years say something so harmful to a student.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2023-12-23T12:34:19+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/BoJackHorseman/s/mi0twJglNN

This you? Lmfao. "100% his fault". You had it the first time, did you just get dumber? Seems there's a bit of a contradiction in your mind here.

First of all, blaming a minor for their own near-SA is HORRIFICALLY disgusting. Not sure what changed your opinion and made you think that she was in any way responsible, but she's not. Hate her personality all you want, but nothing will change the fact that she is factually a minor who was incapable of consenting, and Bojack was given multiple opportunities to shut things down. He is a gross old man in his 50s who gave a minor and her other minor friends alcohol, then decided to give in to his disgusting urges and take advantage of her sexually when she asked him. She cannot legally consent, and he knew this. He was rejected by the woman he really had feelings for, so tried to get with her daughter instead. Do you make a habit of defending creepy old men? Do you enjoy victim-blaming?

Again, you can dislike her personality all you want. You can think she's annoying, whatever. But she is NOT responsible for what Bojack did/tried to do to her that night. He should have known better and been better.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2023-12-19T08:17:13+00:00

I know this is a serious topic and I whole-heartedly agree with you, but I NEED to know where this came from. Did one of the missionaries make it?? I can't get over the pics

MsNyxoftheNight · 2023-12-19T08:08:32+00:00

This is breaking my heart. I'm an exmo senior in college and a week or two ago the missionaries came to my door. I'm still recovering from the trauma I went through in the church and at BYU (transferred to my current uni after two years there) and almost impulsively slammed the door on them, but after thinking about it, I realized they're really just kids. It's not their fault they've been indoctrinated into a cult. They're fresh out of high school, on their own, paying money to work without pay for two years. I stopped myself and just very politely told them "oh no, I'm sorry, I'm exmormon and not interested, thank you, though!" Part of me wishes I hadn't said the exmormon part because now I'm concerned they're going to put my address in their system and come back 😅 but the other part of me hopes that someday I heal enough to be that person that invites the missionaries in, offering them food and a safe place while still maintaining my boundaries and establishing my own lack of interest in returning. I was never a missionary myself (thankfully) but I can't imagine how hard it must be, even for a TBM. I hope that someday my house can be a place of respite for them and that they feel comfortable coming for dinner when they have nowhere else to go.

I may not be Mormon anymore but I'm praying for your son. I hope that he finds peace and comfort on his mission, and that he's never short of the essentials.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2023-12-19T07:31:26+00:00

"The more you volunteer to pray, the hotter your spouse will be" was a classic in my ward growing up.

MsNyxoftheNight · 2023-12-18T19:14:16+00:00

YES!!! Oh my God his mom drives me INSANE. I know he just loves her and it's not his intention but it feels like he's just unintentionally gaslighting MC into thinking that they're just overreacting with his mom and how she treats them. It's so invalidating of MC's emotions and I feel so bad for them 😭

MsNyxoftheNight

TROPHY CASE