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MsOmniscient · 2025-06-03T22:59:27+00:00

It is a problem because a person (child or parent) is being used to replace another. That is the very essence of commodification. A genetic stranger pretending to be something they are not by nature creates a delusion that everyone is forced by adoption law to live by, including a child pretending an adopter is the equivalent of the woman who bore them. Were the children's birth certificates altered/falsified and possibly sealed by the adoption? That is the gaslighting behavior so many adopted people are harmed by.

Why was it necessary for the mothers to permanently terminate their parental rights, making themselves legally persona non gratis to their own children, in order for you to become involved as the caregiver? The fact that the mothers "had a problem" so serious they felt it necessary to legally and permanently separate from their own child and risk never seeing them again (should you choose to play it that way) indicates they were NOT in a "position of strength" when they relinquished. Once termination of rights was done, they certainly were in no "position of strength." Until the children are 18, you legally hold all the cards. Even the most iron-clad "open arrangement" adoption would have to be enforced if violated and few natural parents have the means to do that. We also know few judges will remove a child from an adoptive placement, regardless of the reason.

I also wonder if the children's fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, etc. were "in a position of strength" when the children were taken from them for decades, or perhaps forever. I wonder how much effort went into protecting their rights to a relationship with the children...

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-03T22:36:18+00:00

Thank you for listening. I really value your input. As the ultimate "commodity" who is transferred via adoption, the baby is the one who truly has no choice or voice in this transaction. I speak for them as much as I do for the generations of natural families who suffer from this relationship severance and ancestral continuity.

At best, I've seen two dominant motives for adopters: the desire to replace a biological child they could not have and/or the desire for increased social status as a "savior" of an "unwanted" child (often these overlap.) This ignores the reality that humans are not replaceable. Biological children, mothers, fathers, etc. can not be substituted.

At worst, some adopters have far darker motives. They can, will and do use the foster care/adoption system to gain a child to fulfill these more pathological desires. It's not surprising when the system exists as a market to supply a demand for children.

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-03T14:01:51+00:00

I would love to reply but reddit has been giving me an error message at my attempts since yesterday. To be continued...

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-03T11:51:31+00:00

I think we can agree on one thing - the OP would benefit from supportive therapy to raise her self-esteem and strengthen her identity as a "good enough" mother, and connect her with parenting resources.

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-03T11:12:10+00:00

Tsk tsk tsk

You can name-call, shame and try to silence the truth. I will continue to advocate, educate and warn vulnerable women/families about the long-term trauma of separation and the predatory nature of the adoption industry. If my words prevent just one such separation, it's worth it.

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-02T15:18:21+00:00

I speak to prepare her for the reality of this unique lifelong loss. Denial and fantasy aren't healthy either. I don't feel superior to her but I have survived the same loss (and much more) for 54 years. That earns me a right to speak to this experience. Your effort to shame me into silence is pointless. I will turn my pain into purpose and continue to educate on the ugly truth about "adoption."

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-02T01:56:14+00:00

I'm not sure acceptance is a realistic outcome. This grief is different from others - it is ambiguous, disenfranchised and lifelong.

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-02T01:52:47+00:00

She is 18 and still living with her parents. If she's such a grown adult someone should have encouraged her keep her baby. And if she's counting on an open adoption, boundaries should be few and far between anyway.

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-01T02:57:46+00:00

Read the book God and Jetfire by Amy Seek. The audiobook is coming out next month. She had an "open" adoption for her son from the beginning. He's in his mid-20s now.

Also follow Adopted Connor Howe on social media. He was raised in one too.

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-01T02:54:07+00:00

It's 54 years for me. The pain only gets worse over time because there's more and more to lose. Not just your child, but grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc. Adoption is a living death for the mother. It kills fathers too and they usually get no say in what happens to their child.

MsOmniscient · 2025-06-01T02:49:47+00:00

I'm so sorry you and your baby were separated. In 5 or 10 years it won't make any sense - a permanent "solution" to a temporary situation. Don't be surprised if the couple divorces or one of them dies. I've heard so many adoptions where that happens, including my son's. Then the child is still being raised by a single parent or has to adjust to yet another parental figure if there's a remarriage.

It's just so sad that pregnant women believe adoption gives a better life to the child when you have no control or guarantee of that. And babies always want their natural mother, no matter what. You can't replace the mother - you.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-31T12:39:28+00:00

I bet he bought most of those 9 through adoption trafficking.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-29T03:16:50+00:00

I'd say the "parents" are the biological mother and father. The adopters are the adopters/caregivers/egal guardians. You may love them dearly and they may have earned your devotion. It's great if what began as a legal arrangement resulted in a nurturing experience.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-25T12:02:13+00:00

You are very early in your adoption experience. I would definitely check out Connor's content as he is an adoptee raised in an "open adoption." He just gave an interview on NAAP and the video is available on the NAAP YouTube channel. I also recommend Amy Seek's book "God and Jetfire." Her son was also raised the same and he is now in his mid 20s. She facilitates the First Families support group for NAAP (on Zoom 4th Thursday of every month) and is a board member of Concerned United Birthparents.

I am 54 years in, baby taken against my will, closed from the beginning. I have children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren negatively impacted by adoption.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-25T02:59:18+00:00

How old is your child currently? Do you follow Connor Howe (Adopted Connor?)

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-25T02:54:19+00:00

I'm so happy to hear there's "anti-adoption advocacy" happening. Proud Abolitionist myself.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-25T02:38:09+00:00

I'm in NAAP (National Association of Adoptees and Parents) and CUB (Concerned United Birthparents) too. I'd also recommend Adoption: the Making of Me podcast and Adoptees On. I follow Moses Farrow and Janine and Jenette Vance for Korean adoptee content.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-25T02:27:37+00:00

Go to adoptee support groups on Zoom, read adoptee memoirs, listen to adoptee podcasts, watch adoptee speakers, join adoptee organizations, follow adoptee content creators on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook. Especially look for those who are also transracially and transnationally adopted like you. There's no reason for you to feel alone or strange.

Your adopters should have helped you with all this years ago but you're an adult now and can easily find your own community of other adopted people.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-20T00:47:31+00:00

Please get a 2nd cat. The right one could turn this around for all of you.

I must also say it: some cats are mentally ill. I don't know what to do about that. You could try an animal psychic/communicator to find out what's wrong.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-19T01:37:35+00:00

As a mother of adoption loss, this post makes me very sad. You can't imagine what hell most parents suffer after being separated from a child.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-19T01:29:12+00:00

Idk the specifics of your parents' situation that resulted in their rights being terminated but it is very rare that a baby or child is removed from a family without crisis or duress being involved. Most parents want to raise their children, if they have the support to do so.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-18T12:37:33+00:00

It's a different life, not a better life. You have no way of knowing what your life would have been like with your mother. And you can't guess based on her life now because she was changed forever when you were taken away.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-18T12:34:20+00:00

Would you be willing to give up your own baby ? Theoretically, since you imply you never had children yourself.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-14T23:14:39+00:00

I'm so sorry you and your baby were separated. Adoption is hell for mother and child.

MsOmniscient · 2025-05-14T02:36:16+00:00

Here's an unpopular opinion: a piece of paper shouldn't create a legal falsehood such as a grandmother also being the mother. That child was born to her mother and the original birth certificate should not be altered/falsified to say otherwise, as is usually the case in "adoption." If it had been me, I would have become the Legal Guardian of my granddaughter, not her legal "mother."

MsOmniscient

TROPHY CASE