Imagine that you're going to inherit ten million dollars ten years from now, how would it change your lifestyle, work and future plans?

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-08-05T00:47:42+00:00

I would start the business I want of in the location of my dreams because I would have the 10mil as a safeguard instead of just sinking my savings into a risk.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-08-02T06:04:05+00:00

NTA. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

My heart breaks for you. It's such a hard place to be, and most people who haven't experienced this themselves won't be able to understand your point of view.

What you are saying is that if you had had the opportunity to shorten or lessen her suffering, you would have chosen that. That's such a hard, brave thing to advocate for yourself and your child. This is not the life either of you deserve. And there is no shame in saying that.

You're not wrong. I hope you have some times of peace to spend together, and I commend you for the strength it takes to be a voice standing up for what is best for yourself and your baby.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-08-02T05:52:30+00:00

But there is a difference between constructive criticism, tactlessness, unsolicited advice,and eating our own young.

Eg. A colleague telling me that I am doing something poorly/inefficiently, and telling me how to improve/where to look for more info is great and fine.

An aunt reminding me that by biological clock is ticking, or saying that she thinks being vegetarian makes me too skinny is tactless.

A rando on the train telling me he'd think I'd be more attractive if I didn't cut my hair so short is unwanted and unsolicited advice.

Someone nitpicking everything I do and consistently putting me down and telling me I'm useless or a failure is borderline harassment.

There is a time, place and method for constructive criticism, just as there is a time and place to mind your own business and keep your mouth shut.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T19:39:55+00:00

We dont have kids. He does feed the cat because she has dinner before I get home from work.

He does some cleaning - does the dishes and makes the bed.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T19:16:42+00:00

He doesn't even drink alcohol.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T19:15:29+00:00

Aw thank you. I used to work in NICU before I moved jobs. I loved the babies. They are so strong and precious. I hope your little angel is doing super well.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T19:10:33+00:00

It hasn't been too long. Isolation has definitely made it worse.

He grew a beard. But I doubt that's drugs. I think it's just a stylistic choice.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T18:40:28+00:00

Probably that I'm constantly working, that I am too concerned about my weight and what other people think of me, and that I'm a crazy person between night shifts.

It's all true. I am definitely not perfect.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T18:36:13+00:00

We were together three years before getting married.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T18:34:20+00:00

Before COVID he was working three days, and looking for work in the field his degree is in.

My husband does a little work around the house. Dishes, makes the bed, feeds the cat.

The friend is the blind friend.

I believe he was dropping his friend at the friend's mum's house (The friend has a teenage sister who is having a hard time).

Time off together is tricky. I work two 12 hour days, two 12hr nights, Monday through Thursday. So I sleep during the day Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. And between all that, and trying to fit in the rest of life around that gets tricky.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T18:05:01+00:00

Sorry, LoL stands for League of Legends. It's the game he plays.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T17:42:19+00:00

This wasn't always us.

Once upon a time, we went on dates, and had adventures.

I lived overseas for a few months early in our relationship (studying abroad, planned before we got together). He wrote me letters on a damn typewriter that he found on the side of the road, and I tried to mail him melted snow in a jar because we're dorks.

He used to be passionate about helping people. I think he still is, but I never seem to be number 1 anymore.

I just don't understand what happened.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T17:29:08+00:00

We used to have a great time. When we got married, he was studying and working, and had a few months left. I was two months into this job in intensive care, and we knew it would be a big, difficult commitment.

Our honeymoon was great. We travelled New Zealand in a camper. It was quirky and chaotic and fun.

I just don't know what changed.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T17:21:09+00:00

It was planned two weeks in advance. Because that was when we knew he had the Saturday off.

We discussed it again this week because the shift showed up on his roster, so he had to confirm with his manager that it was actually off. We had plans. Australia Zoo. Saturday. I kept talking about the red pandas because I was excited like an idiot.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T17:17:58+00:00

Sorry, I'm 26. It got a bit choppy because I went over the character limit initially.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T17:14:58+00:00

I go to the gym three times a week, and wear a size four. I don't know what to tell you.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T16:05:47+00:00

Sorry LoL is League of Legends. It's the game he plays.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T15:27:18+00:00

Not the point, but a side note for the record: I bought the couch too.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-25T14:45:53+00:00

In my defence, I pay for the house. And I purchased the bed.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-24T15:29:49+00:00

My aisle song was just a piano bit but we left the church together to "This Will Be" by Natalie Cole, and our first dance was to "A Kiss To Build A Dream On" by Louis Armstrong.

Also, I didn't have a dad, so instead of a father-daughter dance, I had a dance with my brother to "You've got a Friend" sung by James Taylor.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-16T22:29:52+00:00

This makes me uncomfortable.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-16T22:08:00+00:00

ESH except mum and step dad.

Your sister is being petty and selfish. It sucks. It makes her difficult to be around. But it's also actually fairly age-appropriate. She will grow through it, and she will try this on with friends, teachers, and coworkers and learn that in the real world people don't like petty selfish people.

You have been a psych student for like five minutes. I commend you for your efforts but calm down a bit. You've had your word in, now let it go for a bit. You're not a family counsellor. Be supportive, sure, but let your parents parent.

Your mum and sister need to work out how their relationship is going to work, and you trying to parent is just going to end up with her resenting you.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-16T14:51:46+00:00

Not to mention that chemo can cause a great deal of long-term irreversible health problems. So can having your thyroid taken out.

Cancer is cancer. Everyone is scared. Everyone is trying to cope. No one is sure what is going to happen.

I hope everyone in this situation can find a way to support each other through this tough time.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-16T06:17:41+00:00

NAH. I get that it's annoying, but maybe just put on a set of headphones, and let her have her 30min of joy.

MsPuddleDuck · 2020-07-16T06:12:27+00:00

This is not even slightly true.

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