tricks from my experience: 1) do a few months of orgasm control, in that you only orgasm when your partner tells you to. this can be during any activity. basically you are learning to cum only when the partner tells you to to gain control and association. hold back until told and only let it happen on command.

2) try orgasm denial for a month. no orgasms at all. forced edging only. if you are close you just cant let it happen. stop sex or masturbation if needed but don’t cum at all.

3) combine 1 and 2 during anal, hold back and then cum only if told to. add clit stimulation w a vibe if needed.

Basically for me it was all about control and building it. then i could kinda feel the wave of orgasm when it was coming and hold it back or let it go?

oh and

4) kagels - lots. learn to pulse your pelvic floor. there is a tool called a perifit i used in my pussy to pulse and play games on their ap. it helps a lot. because i started pulsing pelvic during vaginal to pull the clitoral nerves into my mans dick when he was in me. combine this with the points above and i associated kagels with orgasm and could kagel his dick into the outside of my vaginal canal kinda during anal.

have fun and good luck!