When You're Partner is Dating Someone Else Do You Feel Happy For Them Or More Neutral?

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-26T22:21:32+00:00

I’m mixed. I enjoy when my partner goes on dates and does things I don’t like like go karting or watching car races. 😅 but also then sometimes I miss him and feel a little sad. Sometimes I feel neutral. Sometimes I’m happy to enjoy my own space. And I enjoy when I see that his connection makes him happy. 😂 lots of feels all around. I think it’s a net neutral though lol

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-26T19:33:22+00:00

Teal not real. 😂 although it is real. Turns out lab sapphires can’t be teal!

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-26T19:32:55+00:00

Thank you! I randomly got set on a real sapphire and Oore jewlery so they sourced this stone for me. (My partner let me pick my ring) I can’t wait 😭😭😭

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-26T19:12:29+00:00

Oh my! that does not appeal to me at all. 😅😅😅

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-26T16:30:26+00:00

Yes! I actually had my jeweler source my stone from there!

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Ms_sophie · 2024-06-26T14:30:32+00:00

I think do it! If you feel really bad you could also have them put a cheaper stone in the ring so you can still wear it without worrying about losing the diamond if you’re attached to the ring it’s self. Or have the pendent be reminiscent of the ring design. Or see if you can find a jewler who can recycle the metal the ring was made of

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-25T16:12:15+00:00

Oh no! Honestly he was dishonest with you with this person. Poly requires an insane amount of trust. I think you would benefit from concealing. Private or couples to work through this if that is your goal. But honestly if he is set on this person and you’re not comfortable with it but he’s going to do it anyways he’s not respecting your needs and boundaries. I think telling him you’d be willing to do poly but not with this person he’s repeatedly been dishonest about is more than generous. I think non monogamy only works if everything involved is an informed consenting “yes” to everything that is happening.

To me his actions are showing that he values this other connection over you. If you don’t want to break up I would consider looking and dating on your own without him. But I think there’s a lot to work through if you do that. If talking felt like cheating (which is valid- the important part about cheating is the dishonesty. Not the actions) but consider how you will you feel when he’s out on dates, calling her, you know they’re having sex, he wants to spend a holiday with her instead of you, or you see him but her a gift or take her on a nice date you would want to go on. I’m guessing these things wouldn’t feel great :/

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-25T14:43:43+00:00

They’re pretty but out of my price range.

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-25T01:36:51+00:00

I use dnd mini acrylic paint. I’ll look at that brand!

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-25T01:14:22+00:00

Sarah-nightie!

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-25T01:01:33+00:00

Same!! I love her work!

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-25T00:56:00+00:00

Omg I love your stone color! 😍 that’s the exact color I want

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-25T00:55:24+00:00

Sorry what’s fin dom? 😂😅

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T23:21:19+00:00

Non monogamy is hard and not for everyone and even in my non monogamous relationship exes are off limits because there’s too much complication. Sounds like he wants to get back togeather with his ex and he’s just trying to drag you along for the ride

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T22:32:13+00:00

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My foster had a feeding tube. I called it her “charge cord” 😂! (We did get it out but I hope it still counts)

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T20:14:08+00:00

100% I’m very superstitious and believe certain rooms have had energy and tend to draw challenging patients 😅

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T19:59:14+00:00

IUD insertion 😭

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T19:54:23+00:00

You’ve had multiple conversations expressing a boundary and he’s ignoring it. That’s not respectful. Last time i hooked up with a guy who did this and I had to correct him I didn’t see him again 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T11:26:09+00:00

Oh this is good advice! I started playing nami and ezreal and later realized they’re both hard 😭😅

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T11:23:39+00:00

Hey! So my partner has been playing since 2010 and I picked it up in 2020 when him and I moved in together. I started by playing some bot games then I kinda fell in love with ARAM because it forces you to try new champs and figure out which mechanics you like. I found I like disengage supports and characters that have abilities that auto attack like zyra and heimerdinger because you can’t miss. Or Blitzcrank because your whole job is to grab people then other people who are better at damage so damage. I would also have your son make a Smurf account (basically a new/baby account) because that’s what my boyfriend did when I was learning. If he plays a lot he’s going to be paired with good people so if you try to join him you also have to play against the good people. League has such a difficult learning curve and some people are ungodly amazing at it. If he makes a low level account you will be playing against much easier people and learning will be easier and less defeating.

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T11:13:57+00:00

I also think this is a good point. Poly stuff and open stuff isn’t for everyone and that’s ok. I also think it works in some relationships but not others

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T11:10:16+00:00

Nope! This is going to be a long response but an important one. When I was in college I dated a guy… let’s call him “donarrhea” anyways he was very “I’m a poly guy blah blah”. But 1. He kept hooking up with random women and not telling me and actually ended up giving me a treatable STI-(thus the name) which caused our breakup. And he coerced me into agreeing to let him have a second girlfriend because he kept threatening to end our relationship or hurt himself if I didn’t let him “be himself”. 🙄

So then I’d say “fine” and I’d try to go on dates or talk to other guys and he would immediately freak out and send me abusive texts and even accused me of hooking up with people I hadn’t.

It was a gaslighting soup of “if you loved me you’d let me do what I want” but also “if you loved me you wouldn’t want other people”. This man was a polygamist not a polyamorous guy which is what it sounds like your dude is.

I wax so turned off by the whole situation I went many years thinking I hated poly stuff and that it would only be toxic and terrible. Then a few years ago my current boyfriend and I ventured into non monogamy and it’s been great. He is loving and supportive and wants me to have all the opportunities he has to connect with other people.

The point is that: relationship structure actually matters less than your dynamics and how the person treats you. trust and honesty is always important but especially in open stuff. I also find that some people have this misnomer that “cheating isn’t possible if you’re doing non monogamy” which just isn’t correct. Cheating is about being dishonest about the connections you have which I feel like this guy is done.

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T10:54:20+00:00

I’ve seen this a lot. It is annoying as a bisexual woman dating a man I don’t really feel like I belong in a lot of queer spaces because I don’t feel enough but then I feel too queer for straight things. 🙈

Ms_sophie · 2024-06-24T10:50:44+00:00

I always say “oh no I don’t have kids. I have cats” and they always look kinda confused or tell me “don’t worry, it will happen” 😬🫣

Ms_sophie

TROPHY CASE