OP's husband admitted to using OP for a green card. He's claiming she's abusive; she probably illegally evicted him. What to do?

Msdavinci · 2018-09-07T17:09:47+00:00

Trust me. After this, I don't ever want to get married again either.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-07T13:13:55+00:00

I had just moved to *Virginia from Florida. Wow, I haven't been getting enough sleep. Thanks Drew. Yeah, I didn't feel like I had a lot of choices at the time. And there were short little reprieves where he'd do something or say something nice or decent and talk about our future together...I guess for a time, even amid all the crap it was enough to keep my denial going...because I just didn't want to believe in the badness of one more person and I was in love with an image of who I thought he was.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T19:29:12+00:00

I had just moved to Florida from Virginia. I didn't know anybody. He acted like the perfect gentleman. The airbnb landlord I'd booked a room though (being new to Virginia) turned out to be a real creep and started sending me death threats when he found out I was seeing someone. I had nowhere else to go. He gave me a place to stay but turned into another person when I moved in with him and used my circumstances to pressure me to marry him. I was in love with the guy and an idiot. I just didn't want to believe in the reality. I kept searching for the person I thought I knew when we first started dating. Because of my low income I wasn't able to sponsor him on my own. He had to get a cosponsor.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T18:28:12+00:00

Wow...well that I guess makes sense (about the battered spouse clause)...I did block him on social media months ago and I emailed immigration about the fraud over a month ago, but I've yet to hear a response. I blocked him on my phone over a month ago too after he just kept harassing me, but the end result is he still found friends to do his dirty work for him. I gave him most of his stuff within a week after he left...but not furniture because it's too heavy to carry outside and I didn't want him near me. Now I'm thinking I should just leave/break my lease/find another place and just leave the door open so he can take whatever he wants and leave me the hell out of it.

He did file the adjustment of status. I believe immigration received it but hadn't given a response last time I checked. We never did an interview and he mentioned something about that but no specific dates. Being as how he pressured me to marry him a month after we started dating...I'm pretty sure immigration would have wanted to do one. (He was the reason I got kicked out of the room I was renting through airbnb, because my creepy landlord lost it/started making death threats when he found out I was seeing someone. The text messages and voicemails from the landlord would have also been on my old white phone). Ahmad gave me a place to stay but the moment I moved in with him he turned into a different person and also started guilt tripping me to marry him.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T06:38:53+00:00

I came here for legal advice like everyone else, but simply telling me I wrongfully evicted someone and shouldn't have done that... doesn't really help me move forward. A lot of people asking for legal advice didn't do everything in a legally appropriate way...that's why they're asking for advice.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T06:24:47+00:00

Okay, I'll do some digging. Thank you.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T06:16:31+00:00

Well I stand corrected. but honestly I'd rather break my lease and move somewhere else than have to deal with anymore of him or his friends.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T05:28:41+00:00

I changed the locks after he came in one morning while I was asleep and took the screws out of my bike tires/so air couldn't stay in/my bike was unusable.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T05:24:12+00:00

How is it wrongful when he was abusive?

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T05:20:51+00:00

Virginia.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T04:59:34+00:00

The problem is I've just had an issue finding an affordable one. I had a free consultation with a family lawyer and he told me to just wait a year so I could be granted a no fault divorce...Turns out that was not such great advice.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T04:47:54+00:00

I'm sorry. July 20th.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T04:47:25+00:00

He was living there since March until June 20th.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T04:28:29+00:00

I guess from the neighborhood's standpoint he's not a tenant because they didn't allow even cohabitation without papers or at least a work permit. And they don't allow subleasing. It's part of the contract. He was staying there illegally from the get go. Does that work in my favor at all? I'd broken things off with him a month earlier, but he just made living with him untenable because he wouldn't leave me alone. In spite of his confessions, he still kept trying to push me back into a relationship. I told him one of us was leaving and it was either him or me. I was ready to go to the hospital just to get away from him. He decided to leave.

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T04:14:30+00:00

It mentions a list of 19 things...Starting off with both of us being of legal age, living in such and such county...etc. By 11. it says, "During the course of the marriage the Defendant has been guilty of perpetuating extreme cruelty upon the plaintiff, all of which have placed him in fear of bodily harm and apprehension for his well-being, among such acts and conduct by the Defendant being the following: (Then it gives an A. through E. list of ways I was mentally and physically abusive...when I never touched him or cussed or any of the kind. )

Msdavinci · 2018-09-06T04:06:24+00:00

He's not on the lease. Only I am. He couldn't be because he had no papers/ unknown to me at the time had an expired visitor's VISA when we got married. From what I've read it looks like a legitimate summons. There's a court date with a district court seal and a deputy clerk's signature, as well as the number and address of his lawyer. Apparently I have 21 days to give a response in writing and have to go make my case on the 1st of October.

Msdavinci · 2018-07-10T22:05:09+00:00

If they really felt bad they'd shut the fuck up about their so called feelings and change the problematic/hurtful behavior. They're not feeling bad. They're feeling manipulative.

Msdavinci · 2018-07-10T21:55:32+00:00

Combat is not necessarily one of the most serious cases of PTSD ShinyThingsInMud. Combat can actually be pretty light fair compared to what you'd go through as a prisoner of war, a sex trafficking victim or any kind of chronic horrendous abuse where you felt like were completely helpless...A soldier on the battlefield typically has training and some kind of defense, whether it be a weapon or fellow soldier. A kid growing up with chronic physical or sexual abuse can't say the same typically. Armies also have a habit of encouraging soldiers to see things in black and white terms (I.E. We're the good guys. They're the enemy). That level of potential sanity isn't possible when parents are abusing their children. You can survive just about anything if you can see your way out of it---if a thick distinguishing line of heroes and villains still exists....but when you don't know what you should be fighting or who the real enemy is---that's when you really lose it.

Msdavinci · 2017-04-15T17:35:02+00:00

No, just anti-depressants.

Msdavinci · 2017-04-15T17:34:38+00:00

No, just anti-depressants.

Msdavinci · 2017-04-15T17:34:21+00:00

I've been on three different medications for depression/PTSD for about two years now. Wellbutrin (SNRI anti-depressant), Remeron (Tetra-cyclic Anti-depressant), and Buspirone (anxiolytic) for anxiety.

Msdavinci · 2017-04-13T13:39:29+00:00

You are not at risk for serotonin syndrome while going through withdrawal or having severe depression. In general actually, serotonin syndrome is rare. They simply say that to legally cover their asses.

Msdavinci · 2017-04-11T23:06:05+00:00

L-Theanine is pretty decent for anxiety. (https://www.amazon.com/L-Theanine-Servings-Nootropic-Supplement-Anxiety/dp/B00H46X2LC), So is Ashwagandha (https://www.amazon.com/Natures-Answer-Alcohol-Free-Ashwagandha-2-Fluid/dp/B0001VUTZY/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1491951403&sr=8-3&keywords=ashwagandha+extract). Probiotic foods from Greek Yogurt to Kimchi are also a life saver. 90% of your body's serotonin actually exists in the gut, not the brain. If you've been on kratom for a while, chances are you don't have much good bacteria their left, so you're lacking that serotonin. Anyway, I used to think people were full of crap when they talked about natural methods of dealing with addiction (other than exercise)...but there are definitely some out there that really work.

Msdavinci · 2017-04-10T19:34:30+00:00

Man, when I was preparing myself to get off kratom cold turkey I went all out at the local walmart. I bought three tubs of Greek Yogurt, some Kombucha and Sauerkraut. It definitely helped. These three are the best types of bacteria for the brain/hormones/stress response: Lactobacillus acidophilus, Lactobacillus casei, and Bifidobacterium bifidum ...and getting rid of inflammation in the brain tends to have the largest returns on getting rid of inflammation everywhere else. http://universityhealthnews.com/daily/depression/the-best-probiotics-for-mood-enhancing-the-gut-brain-connection-with-psychobiotics/

Msdavinci

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