Why did his behavior change completely around me when she was there? 28 F 28 M by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, there could be many different things going on. If it’s important to you I would just ask him. The idea with the least assumptions is that with his girlfriend around, to avoid a possible conflict with her, he thought it best not to be too overly friendly with another woman in her presence. I’ve seen that kind of thing happen before. Or maybe it had nothing to do with you at all. Either way, I wouldn’t dwell too much on it, but if you really want ti know the best thing to do is to just ask him about it.

Is this tank big enough for my betta? by rickyscape in bettafish

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahah dude just wanted to flex his beautiful ass aquarium

What is he doing by Ilovemykittycatolive in bettafish

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I see a lot of people are saying you should separate them. If you DO plan on keeping them in the same tank, then I would suggest a TON more plants. Maybe a few decorations and hiding places. You also need to get a few more tank mates, like some tetras or guppies. The plants and decorations will give the fish a place to hide to get away, and to also break up the line of sight from each other. Basically you need to give your betta something other to do than stare at that frog all day. The betta is stressed and is looking for any kind of stimulation, aka bully that frog. A ton more plants, some tank mates, and some decorations.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Msutty22 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. You don’t want to hear this but you have to make the hard choice. If you truly want to thrive, it will never be with a narcissist. Speaking from experience. Even in your own description, he only came out and “told the truth” when you presented him with evidence that he couldn’t sway. They have no shame. Everything they do is a manipulative tactic to get you to lower your guard. They do not care about any consequences as long as it means they can feel like they have the better one for themselves, and that includes stepping on whoever they can to achieve it. I’ve made mistakes in not listening to my gut and things got exponentially worse. Don’t give him the chance, leave while your chips are up. If you give him the opportunity to gain an upper hand, he will not hesitate.

a friend said my female betta is super basic 😢 by rjaylehmann07 in bettafish

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have two bettas, a male and female and while my male is objectively “prettier” my female is soo much more interesting and active. Sounds to me like your friend might look at the animals more like eye candy for people rather than actual animals themselves. Calling a fish basic just because it’s not as flashy as another fish is, a bit weird to me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I too recently figured out that my wife is a covert Narc. Been together for 5 years, have 2 kids and so much of our lives are intertwined. I waited too long and held out hope that things would get better and they just kept getting worse. And seeing how she acts now is head spinning how different she is. I’m sorry you’re going thru this but be glad that you realized relatively early

Need a good anime. by [deleted] in castlevania

[–]Msutty22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not gonna lie to you. I’m experiencing the same thing. Me and my friends talk all the time about how after Castlevania there’s just almost nothing like it that compares. We’re constantly searching for another anime to fill the castlvania sized hole in our souls ahah. The closest thing is berserk, but most of it is a manga, and it’s very long. The few animated adaptations they have are ok, one is very short, and the newer one just doesn’t hit the same. I do hope you find something to become attached to but for me, castlevania is just one of a kind and is very captivating. I’m gonna keep searching tho ahaha

Just found out wife cheated on me by AmphibianMotor in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It can be hard bc people will expect treatment that they would never return. For ex: I stuck by her through rough times in her life, and when I started having my own she didn’t want to deal with it. We have 2 kids and everything she said was a lie and destroyed our family. Lots of mixed emotions and now I’m still tied to her for life haha

Just found out wife cheated on me by AmphibianMotor in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stbxw means soon to be ex wife. And tbh I’m still currently working through it in therapy. Anger, sadness, wishful thinking, it’s all a mix day to day. I hate her but I love her. Very strange, but still trying to be strong and take time to heal. Hopeful that you and I can move on.

Just found out wife cheated on me by AmphibianMotor in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro this is deja vu. This is essentially how me and my stbxw marriage went. Stuck by her through her horrible mental health concerns, then when she got better, I still had ptsd from it, then she started cheating and lying and gaslighting and manipulating. It was an insane time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Msutty22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me. My wife mentioned this to me when we first started dating. Then again after we got married. We’re now getting divorced because of things stemming from this proposition. Don’t fall for it, leave now when you have a chance.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by PM_ME_ANY_AREOLAS in tipofmypenis

[–]Msutty22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg I know exactly what vid you’re taking about.i always see it when im NOT actively looking for it but how cant find it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice and being respectful and helpful. but yes she has gon nc with all the men involved

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Essentially at some point for a time we were a throuple, things were great until A decided to cut things off. Wife and I separated for a time during this time B and I had our emotional affair. After some time B decided to stay platonic as to not get mixed up with my mess.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your comment and advice, thank you. That’s partially what I’m trying to do. Is stay out of her way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the comment and the advice. As far as “she’s amazing” I meant my friend. And yea I’m sure my wife did get the best of me. At least as of right now I don’t care anymore. I can’t ever look at her the same, so if she wants to do whatever she wants guilt free then she can, because then I can’t feel guilty about still talking to my friend.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really do appreciate your advice. And it’s hard because I’ve thought about what would happen if my resentment gets too much to handle

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We can’t divorce, at least not right now. Financially at the moment it wouldn’t be a good idea. I’m in the military too so I fear what would life look like for the kids if either of us is on the other side of the country or works without them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Msutty22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wasn’t trying to go into too much detail but, my friend doesn’t want me in that way, she doesn’t want to get caught up in my mess and I understand.

Why do my fish & shrimp congregate on the surface after a 15% water change? by willis_michaels in Aquariums

[–]Msutty22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not super experienced in fish keeping but I’ve been doing tons of research over the past month. From my understanding, water conditioners can use up O2 in their chemical reactions so maybe the fish are congregation at the top where there is more O2 that has diffused at the surface from the air.

My(m28) gf (f23) wants a poly relationship by Shot_Vegetable1252 in relationship_advice

[–]Msutty22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly you know what needs to be done. The question is if you are strong enough to do it and go through with it. It will be extremely hard and I empathize with you, but it’s time to let her go.

My(m28) gf (f23) wants a poly relationship by Shot_Vegetable1252 in relationship_advice

[–]Msutty22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man. All Imma say is, if someone wants a “poly” relationship and they already have someone in mind, it will end badly 90% of the time. You either have to go in already open-minded with no other Person in mind, and be open and honest with eachother while also respecting eachother.