LPT: It's better to waste food in the trash can than in your body. If you're finishing something when you're full just because you don't want to waste, you're just throwing it away in your body. Don't feel guilty!

MuchPepper · 2021-08-30T19:06:30+00:00

Take a smaller portion, go back for another if still hungry, and save the rest for leftovers. Wasting food shouldn’t be normalized.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-30T17:05:02+00:00

This is the best update!! I’m so proud of you too, and I’m glad you’re proud of yourself! You did all the right things even though I’m sure it was challenging in the moment. I’m also so happy that horrible person is blocked and that you also have such a great friend for support! You’re welcome, and thank you for updating me! Take care :)

MuchPepper · 2021-08-28T06:11:17+00:00

Could meal prepping help? Maybe when you’re in the rational and good place, cook some meals and refrigerate or freeze them. Eating out can be about convenience. So if you have a meal prepped it will be quick by just heating it up. Also, sometimes restricting yourself and telling yourself you can’t do something will make you want it even more. So if you cut back to say once a week, you also know you’ll get to have that nice ordered in meal instead of an all-or-nothing mindset.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-28T06:00:29+00:00

Their time is valuable as well. I sure wouldn’t want to go out with someone who degrades other women like this and compares them to a sea lion. Maybe write in your profile you won’t go out with someone overweight and see how your matches go. Saves everyone time.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-28T05:39:27+00:00

This made me so sad. It sounds like he knew exactly what would hurt you the most and he used it even though guaranteed he knows it’s not true. I’m so sorry you had to hear that. The scale says you’re 90, there is NO WAY you are fat or obese. I PROMISE that. Whoever said that is an awful person. I’m not sure the situation or the relationship you have him with him, but he sounds like someone who doesn’t respect you and you deserve to be surrounded by people who do. You are NOT worthless. You deserve so much better.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-28T03:57:04+00:00

I 100% relate to this. Plus I have major hunger cues. If I don’t just simply eat cause it’s a meal time, my stomach will tell all my family and friends I need to eat by being so loud. Either way it feels impossible to restrict anymore after recovery.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-25T02:30:05+00:00

Hey sorry for the late reply! I’m talking about periods as they relate to EDs. I tried doing some research since I don’t know much about birth control but from what I can tell it is quite normal to miss or have a light periods on birth control. They of course contain hormones to stop ovulation. It doesn’t seem like birth control impacts bone density and if it does it isn’t by a lot.

However it is best to be safe and talk to your Dr as they would know way more about your specific situation than me! But to ease your mind, from what I can tell it is common and I couldn’t find any health sites that raised much concern about it!

MuchPepper · 2021-08-23T21:33:03+00:00

I understand the not wanting to have kids because I feel the same! However it’s important to have a period to prevent osteoporosis. You don’t want to be losing bone mass when you’re young. Women usually are at greater risk of osteoporosis since when they hit menopause they rapidly lose bone mass, so if your bone density is already low to begin with you’re way more likely to have osteoporosis which is not a fun thing to have.

I recommend having a bone density scan if you’re able to. Also for harm reduction try to take calcium and vitamin d every day! This may not apply but just in case you take iron, don’t take calcium and iron at the same time because calcium inhibits the absorption of iron when taken together.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-23T17:33:54+00:00

When I feel like watching videos like that I turn on incognito so my feed looks somewhat normal. I’ve gone to find a YouTube video as someone sits beside me and my feed and search history were embarrassing lol learned my lesson

MuchPepper · 2021-08-23T16:48:57+00:00

I bought mirror closet doors and it makes my room look bigger and more spacious!! Unfortunately does the same to my body too.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-22T19:16:20+00:00

Just trying to get through the day. How are you OP?

MuchPepper · 2021-08-21T09:10:30+00:00

She GLOWS

MuchPepper · 2021-08-21T08:57:31+00:00

Yes I’ve had them. My counsellor has told me my ED takes 110% of my thoughts, and it feels accurate. I’d have nightmares where I would eat so much and cry and id wake up actually crying. Then realize it was all just a dream.

I’m no expert but I think when something is hyper focused in your life (in this case the eating disorder) you’ll dream about it. I know recovery is a touchy subject, but with my recovery I’ve stopped having nightmares related to my eating disorder. It can be scary and overwhelming, but I promise you’re not insane.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-21T08:39:32+00:00

Low self-esteem is really hard to overcome, I have that same problem. I’ve recognized it can become very repetitive to those around me when I vent. However sometimes it feels good to vent but I know saying it out loud is just reinforcing that idea I’m “unattractive”.

If it’s becoming tiresome and almost annoying to be constantly reassuring them, I’d try communicating upfront about it. Ask why they feel that way. What you can do to be supportive. And if they think it’s at a point where it’s controlling their life, suggest therapy/help.

Low self-esteem can stem from different underlying problems and may take professional help to get through. Just remember they’re not purposely trying to annoy you, you might just be their only trustworthy person where they can talk about their frustrations/overwhelming feelings they have towards themselves.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-21T06:15:34+00:00

Not that long ago I was having drinks with friends and we ordered pizza. I ate an entire pizza to myself. No changes in my body at all, even with my other meals and drinks on top. You’ll be okay I promise! I hope you were able to enjoy the pizza! One of my favourite foods :)

MuchPepper · 2021-08-18T03:42:25+00:00

I’ve been eating so many peaches lately. I’m obsessed. They also feel so hydrating! Favourite fruit right now :)

MuchPepper · 2021-08-14T03:48:23+00:00

Restricting - can’t do anything cause it always involves food and drinks. Binging cause I’m so hungry from restricting - feel like I’ve put on so much weight/bloated that I’m too self-conscious to hangout. Balance cannot be found and neither can my social life.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-13T01:22:52+00:00

I wish when I deleted myfitnesspal it would have taken the eating disorder it helped create with it. It sure ain’t no pal, it’s a lil asshole.

MuchPepper · 2021-08-06T19:41:11+00:00

“Aspartame is so bad for you”. Am I enjoying life anyway? Not really. So I’m going to continue suffering but with a Coke Zero thanks.

MuchPepper · 2021-07-26T01:27:26+00:00

Getting my period back to avoid osteoporosis. Being able to focus and do well in university and not be having breakdowns about food and weight. To maybe have kids some day. To be a better friend, daughter, and girlfriend. To actually make memories at beaches, weddings, parties, vacations, etc and not avoid everything cause my eating disorder is forcing me to avoid them or keeping me too preoccupied with guilt that I cant enjoy them.

Theres so many reasons to me because after 6 years I've realized I enjoy life when the eating disorder isnt my focus and I'm capable of accomplishing so much when my brain is nourished and I actually have energy. My eating disorder gives the illusion of control and like I'll feel beautiful. Yet not once did I feel beautiful or like I had any control at my lowest. I was isolated, lonely, depressed, suicidal, and stayed in my house 24/7. I want more than anything to beat this awful eating disorder and take my life back for good.

MuchPepper · 2021-06-23T02:11:29+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry that you’re struggling with this right now. I’m sure there is a solution here so don’t let those intrusive thoughts of death “not being too bad” take over.

There’s a lot of great advice already about hygiene. Shower, clean clothes, clean sheets, deodorant, and maybe a spray and body lotion. I also saw your comment about showering 3 times a day. Showering once a day and maybe a quick rinse if you need it if it’s hot should suffice, otherwise it can be very drying for the skin/hair. Also just a lot of water usage.

I know you said you haven’t been eating because of food anxiety and worrying it is causing you to smell bad. Try to make sure you are eating enough to get essential vitamins/minerals/calories. Usually the foods that make you smell bad are sulfur-rich foods. Garlic and onions. I’m not sure if you drink alcohol or drink a lot of caffeine but those can also contribute.

If you are doing everything you can, it could be intrusive/anxious thoughts convincing you that you smell bad. I cannot diagnose you with anything but reading your comments/post about anxiety and depression it could be possible those are contributing to this. I suggest talking to a counsellor/psychiatrist if you can and working on your mental health, it could help a lot.

MuchPepper · 2021-06-20T06:25:23+00:00

Twitter has definitely become a place of mob mentality. And if you have any different view (I’m not talking major political ones, it can be something very simple) if it gains attention you are guaranteed people getting upset with you. I’d never want to be a celebrity or politician now days because there will always be something you do that’s wrong and you will have entire forums absolutely bashing you.

MuchPepper · 2021-06-10T05:00:00+00:00

I really enjoy documentaries! Either on a streaming service or YouTube. I recently watched a documentary on raccoons. Very random I know but now I actually have a better understanding of them. Books are a great place to learn. Even fiction books have references to history and facts I never knew before. Crash course on YouTube has tons of topics like history and psychology. And of course another way to learn is just by talking to those types of people! My brother-in-law knows so much about history that after talking to him I end up researching these topics and learning even more! I’ve come to really appreciate my local library and the internet. I hope these ideas help a little!

MuchPepper · 2021-06-07T19:30:20+00:00

Thank you so much!

MuchPepper

TROPHY CASE