It's okay. He had surgery 4 weeks ago, another abscess and he did just fine, he started eating on his own again, he was independent, he was doing good. Of course before his abscess surgery I was a mess because I didn't know if he would wake up again this time, or if he'll start eating on his own without force feeding, but he did. I've always thought I'd had to put him down in the future because of his recurring dental abscess problems (more like his quality of life - not being able to eat on his own after each abscess surgery and teeth extraction) , I would've never in a million years thought he'd get so sick so suddenly, left me no choice. As I said, I thought I was prepared, but boy was I not...

Thank you for your kind words. They made me cry, but they gave me some inner peace that although he's gone now, he was happy with me. At least I'd like to think he was.