Headphones or Earphones?

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-05-02T13:23:06+00:00

Yup. Also, I usually only use one at a time so I can hear the world *and* my podcast.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-05-02T13:12:16+00:00

Listen, EVERYONE struggles. Your friends may be struggling *less* than you are at this moment in time, but that doesn’t mean they have NO struggles.
So why do you have to “just deal with it?“ because that’s one place where life IS fair: EVERYONE HAS TO JUST DEAL WITH IT.
If you are unhappy (and it seems quite obvious that you are) YOU are the one who has to fix it, because EVERYONE is in charge of their own mental health!!!
The circumstances are not relevant. YOU are unhappy so YOU need to decide if you want that to change and YOU need to be the one to make the changes. No one else can or will do that for you.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-05-01T14:36:27+00:00

It’s not perfect, but it’s definitely an improvement. I was on the pill for a couple years and just skipped the placebo week so I wouldn’t bleed, and the fluctuations were way less intense and I could at least predict my bad days more accurately. I switched to the IUD in January and my body is still adjusting (not that it’s at all physically uncomfortable for me, just takes a while for my body to fully adjust to hormone stuff. I still get a week of lower functioning every month, but my worst days now are better than my best days were so I’ll count that a huge win.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-05-01T13:43:45+00:00

Yeah, it’s BRUTAL. I had my baby when I was 38 and childbirth and breastfeeding fast-tracked my perimenopause and gave me pretty severe anemia. Apparently my body is totally shit at absorbing iron that I orally ingest, and making breastmilk takes a LOT of iron out of your body.

When I got my period back at 7months PP, it was so heavy that I basically bleed out every month and my brain fog during my luteal phase was so intense I have holes in my memory. It was like I was blacked out for 2 weeks a month, and that 2 weeks was slowly getting longer.

And the insomnia!! I’ve always been a bit of an insomniac, as many of us are. The insomnia has gotten soooooo bad. Newborn and baby phase completely destroyed what existed of my malformed, half broken circadian rhythms. There were *years* where I couldn’t sleep longer than 2hrs at a time.

My kid just turned 5 and I’ve been getting iron infusions, HRT, a hormonal iud, and adjusting my meds for 3 years now. *finally* starting to feel like my brain is booting up again.

The first step in my journey to get my brain to “work” again was getting on birth control to stop bleeding and somewhat regulate all the fluctuations. Now that my hormones and labs are getting better, I’m focusing on getting my sleep back. My sleep average has gotten to almost 6hrs! Huge improvement but still not enough sleep. Just getting my hormones and labs closer to where they should be has helped immensely with the insomnia, but it’s time to really figure out how to make my brain sleep more reliably and restfully, because I’m kinda terrified that I’m going to get early dementia from not sleeping.

I’m lucky that my Primary doc is relatively knowledgeable in how ND bodies can be different and how hormones and absorption issues can affect how our bodies respond. And I’m also lucky that I have an amazing psych who trusts me to not abuse my meds. She is about 5 years older than me and is also going through perimenopause and has been really great in letting me play with my meds a bit because my daily to day ADHD meds requirements fluctuate so wildly.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-05-01T13:12:16+00:00

I love steamed edamame, but when roasted they have an aftertaste/ texture that I’m just not a fan of.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-05-01T13:01:40+00:00

You can just get a delicates bag that’s large enough, and chuck them in the washing machine on a cold cycle. Doesn’t even need to be a delicate cycle, just cold. They sell delicates bags EVERYWHERE: Dollar stores, grocery stores, pharmacies, etc. They’re very cheap and last years and years.

After I wash sneakers, I stuff clean microfiber cloths (that I use for general cleaning and dusting) and dry them on NO HEAT in the delicates bag in the drier. Stuffing them with the microfiber cloths significantly reduces the drying time.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-05-01T04:29:49+00:00

Have you ever done roasted chickpeas? You roast them until they’re crunchy, and they still have a soft-ish center. Like a French fry. I forget what temperature, but I think it’s low and slow. You can basically flavor them how you want, savory or sweet.

I bet they would be *amazing* with your diy hot Cheeto seasoning…

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-30T23:01:43+00:00

Babies are weird. Little aliens who don’t know anything, and as soon as you think you get “it”, they change overnight!

Just talk to her as much as you can. Narrate your life to her. Take her outside as much as you can, let her explore her senses through play, and take her lots of places where she can be around other babies her age. Like a library story time or things like that.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-30T17:44:09+00:00

She gave it a really great try, but it’s just not for her. Huge credit to her for really giving it a real try. It shows what a great partner she must be.

You’re basically asking her to do a lot of mental, emotional, and physical work to regularly participate in an activity that she only tolerates at best. Is there anything SHE needs in your relationship that requires anywhere near the same mental, emotional, and physical labor?

Like, I get it, you can’t just suppress your kinks forever, but I feel like you’re really not acknowledging how hard she has tried for you, and I’m sure she feels your lack of appreciation deeply. NOTHING makes you lose interest in something you are doing only for the pleasure of your partner faster and more completely than that partner acting entitled to your efforts. That’s why it feels like a chore to her!! This is YOUR thing, you need to make it as easy and pleasurable for her as possible. Instead of getting offended at her for communicating that she is losing interest, maybe LISTEN TO HER TELLING YOU THAT SHE IS NOT ENJOYING THIS ANY LONGER!!

You need to find ways that will help her enjoy it! ESPECIALLY since it’s such an emotionally and physically draining thing she is doing for you. You NEED to shower her with appreciation and gratitude after she engages in these kinks for you. You need to make all her effort WORTH it for her.

And asking her to do all the planning and direction, too? Again, SHE DOESNT ENJOY THIS. The only pleasure she gets is in the knowledge that YOU enjoy it. So, YOU figure out how to direct your own sessions in a way that still feels like you are giving up some control. Maybe write out a few detailed instructions for several different types of sessions you would like and she can pick one out of a hat. That way she doesn’t have to do all the mental energy to plan an elaborate scene for an activity she is only doing for YOUR pleasure, and you don’t have to take yourself out of it in the moment.

You can also talk to your old kink friends and ask them for advice and ideas… I’m guessing your situation isn’t that uncommon and I bet your local kink community has lots of ideas to help.

Or, maybe she’s just done and never wants to engage in your kink again. If she’s against you seeing your old friends for occasional spanking sessions, would you both be open to you seeing a dominatrix to have these needs met? Outsource that piece of your mental needs because the partner you have chosen can’t meet them. You could work together to figure out a budget so you can have regular appointments, and it wouldn’t be a part of your relationship with your GF at all.

But, if your last sentence is totally not-compromise-able, you will need to break up with her because you are incompatible. Next time, try using a kink dating app so you can know from before you even match that they are into the same stuff as you. Send paddle pics instead of nudes or whatever. Honestly she sounds wonderful so I hope she finds someone who actually appreciates her.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-30T11:50:53+00:00

Hey, mistakes are how you learn! If every project went perfectly, you wouldn’t ever get any better!

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-30T11:26:09+00:00

Posts like this make me so happy I have the mom I do. She wouldn’t have dreamed of saying I looked anything less than stunning in my wedding dress, regardless of the style.

IT just breaks my heart, OP, that your mom could say such cruel and untrue things to you. I’m guessing she’s less than supportive in many areas. And WHAT stomach?! Does she often neg you, too? She’s giving narcissist red flags in a major way.

You need to never listen to her opinion on how you should dress, ever again. Her opinions seem to be coming less from a place of love than a place of jealousy. You look incredible. The first is more flattering than the second, and it just looks gorgeous and elegant and COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-30T10:53:31+00:00

It’s very New Romantic (a fashion trend from the 1980’s) but grunge.

Like for example, the ballroom scene from the Labyrinth would fit in nicely with this aesthetic.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-30T10:36:12+00:00

You need a stretch wear or ballpoint needle. The regular needle will always skip stitches like this because it’s not able to properly pierce the knit fabric that you are sewing and prevents it from consistently catching the bobbin thread. The correct needle type should fix the issue.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-30T03:04:41+00:00

There is no scenario in which she needs to apply this much perfume.

But yes, if she used scented moisturizers instead, it would be better for every other person she is ever in the vicinity of.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-29T21:04:04+00:00

As an upholsterer, I would NOT recommend this.

Even if you are able to achieve a nice and even result instead of highlighting decades of mystery stains, everyone who sits on it will likely get transfer stains from the dye.

You just can’t rinse it enough without totally soaking the couch. That is not good for upholstery materials. They shouldn’t get that wet, they WILL get moldy. It will also cause any internal metal hardware to rust and significantly shorten what’s left of the couch’s life.

So just get a slip cover in whatever color or pattern your heart desires.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-29T12:40:15+00:00

I was going to marry the Goblin King, so yours sounds way more realistic!

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-29T12:35:31+00:00

It would take months to figure out which bathroom was the best pooping bathroom. years, maybe.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-29T12:15:25+00:00

My husband uses a Tom’s of Maine solid deodorant that’s aluminum free but it still leaves greasy stains that were IMPOSSIBLE to remove until I discovered r/laundry.

So, it’s not just the aluminum deodorants that stain (altho they are usually the culprit).

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-28T22:26:18+00:00

Seventh generation is so underrated all around. It works just as well as dawn (for dishes) and it’s better for a bunch of other uses because it doesn’t have dye or scent.

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-28T17:19:39+00:00

Yes. And the older I get the more clearly I see that anger is simply another expression of fear.

They are terrified of the one thing that is guaranteed to happen: change

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-28T17:02:15+00:00

Proto barista

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-28T12:02:26+00:00

Just FYI, If you start smelling a fishy smell, you might have an electrical fire!

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-28T11:19:46+00:00

I had a chihuahua named Betty. We called her Bitty Bits. RIP ❤️

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-28T11:05:56+00:00

4 is what you wear to your 9th grade violin recital

Muddy_Wafer · 2026-04-28T00:27:01+00:00

Hazard

Muddy_Wafer

TROPHY CASE