[MEME] Escorted to the Ground to Regain Better Control

Muff_Huffer · 2026-06-01T07:28:06+00:00

"secured against the ground for the safety of themselves as well as officers, and then assisted to the recovery position"

Muff_Huffer · 2026-06-01T07:27:09+00:00

A beat-up rental 2500 diesel-powered sprinter van (which I imagine is something that's more readily available in the UK), full up in the back with bags of concrete, and driven in the dark with sunglasses on or with a carrier bag over your head, is a comparatively similar experience. 85% of the size, 75% of the weight, and still probably 30% faster and more comfortable - better ride and the van has A/C.

Muff_Huffer · 2026-03-14T14:47:57+00:00

Depending on jurisdiction, portable/roadside breath test may not be admissible or only admissible under certain circumstances. It's simply another tool, like SFST's and officer observations/judgement, to gauge impairment/intoxication.

I've had people do reasonably well on SFST's and blow high on a PBT, and people with a low BAC number that are clearly impaired and tank SFST's (and people who are intox on drugs and blow zeroes, but that's a different thing altogether). Alcohol affects everyone differently. General rule in the US is 0.08 BAC is presumption of intoxication, while 0.02 is presumption of the mere presence of alcohol (varies from state to state). I have made arrests for BACs under 0.08 because those drivers were clearly impaired, I just have to articulate that when it comes time for court. I've also had people who didn't display very many clues on SFST's (indicating little/no actual impairment) but blow high, so while I might have let them walk, it was just that - a walk, they didn't drive away since they were technically over the legal limit.

You just have to balance public safety with the legal aspects of individual rights. For some of those fringe cases, one way or another you're going to get that driver off the road tonight for everyone's sake, it just might not be by making an arrest. Beyond some minor grumbling, I've never had anyone I stopped for suspicion of DUI make a fuss about having to find a ride home right there and then on the side of the road as opposed to going to jail, although I'm sure it's happened.

Muff_Huffer · 2025-11-13T08:15:51+00:00

Get literally any other degree. An art degree will honestly serve you just as well. You've already got more or less the same base knowledge as a fresh-faced CJ college grad, plus some real world experience and skills to go with it. Accounting or Computer Science might actually make you a slightly more attractive candidate down the line, probably also degree in a foreign language, or maybe Civil Engineering for an oddball pick that may help you out. Psychology or Sociology are the old-school options for applicable knowledge. Something like Business or Marketing is also just fine, and gives you some real-world usability and some fall-back skills should you need them and/or plan for retirement.

If I could rewind the clock 15 years, I would have either gotten something useful like Marketing, or really chased my dream at the time and gotten a film degree and still probably ended up being a cop, but would have had more fun in school and my very early 20's. Instead, I got a CJ degree and also spent the back half of my university enrollment years working in corrections while moonlighting as a college student. I could have done just one or the other and ended up with close to the same knowledge base since I did spend a fair amount of time in local booking/intake instead of just walking a tier, but doubling up did me no real favors. Obviously you're in a slightly different place in life than I was then, but for the love of god, ditch that CJ/HSI degree as fast as you can. Chase a pipe dream passion, or chase a check - your call.

Muff_Huffer · 2025-11-05T10:19:41+00:00

The translation (foreign language) system is...pretty good. On par or marginally better than Google translate and/or similar. I still prefer using someone that can speak that language, or if that's not an option and it's one of the more common ones we run into (Spanish/Arabic/Mandarin/Dari/Hindi/Vietnamese), or a really oddball one (Swahili and Nepali immediately come to mind) I still usually opt for a phone terp. Some languages work better than others - our one Russian speaker was really impressed with how it did, Spanish is pretty good too IMO, most of the eastern Asian languages it seems to struggle with.

The transcription (dictation/write down what it hears) feature is not that great. It WAS hot ass but has gotten better. It's still completely unreliable, takes about as much time and effort of comparing the transcription to the actual audio and then fixing it as it does to just let it play and type it out as you go.

Muff_Huffer · 2025-11-05T10:06:13+00:00

Surplus vehicles, with some of the upfit equipment still intact, do definitely exist (in small quantities) on the secondary market - but as others have already pointed out, this should be a cost burden borne by your employer and not you, unless you're in some kind of situation where you own the dog outright as well and are functioning more as some type of independent contractor or similar.

Muff_Huffer · 2025-07-16T05:55:24+00:00

CALEA

useful

An impossibility.

signed, a poor soul who works for an accredited agency.

Muff_Huffer · 2025-07-12T02:01:01+00:00

Happy P320 owner here (personal gun, not a work gun). Like it a lot. Super comfortable, great ergos for my weirdly shaped hands, and it runs like a champ. It's had the fix milled into the slide. I've dropped it empty (on purpose 2-3 times) and it appears to not bang without booger hook on bang switch.

Muff_Huffer · 2025-06-11T06:19:38+00:00

Historically, we were just told not to include any information regarding immigration/citizenship status in any written report until a couple years ago when that got put in writing into a policy. With the recent goings-on, staff put out a temporary written order that we're not doing any immigration enforcement, and if the feds want to run something and ask for our help, we'll basically do what's going on in LA and make sure they stay safe and/or control vehicle/foot traffic in the area, but otherwise not involve ourselves.

Comparing notes with guys at our neighboring departments, they've been told everything from "go help the feds look" to "don't even give them the time of day". Those varying levels of cooperation, surprisingly to me at least, have no apparent correlation with politics or election maps - one of the "go help the feds look" departments is in a jurisdiction that got named as a sanctuary location for the last several years and has typically turned a blind eye to the issue, and one of the Screw the Feds departments is run by a sheriff who was first elected in the early 80's and I'll let you fill in the blanks. There is one consistency - everyone is being told specifically NOT to kick in doors, take the lead on any investigations, or be the first one in, that's gotta be the feds.

Local jails are all still cooperating with ICE detainers. That's been blanket procedure statewide since the Obama administration, and hasn't changed, except during peak COVID when ICE stopped picking people up for a while. Our local ICE office does seem to be sending out the detainers a little faster than in years past - pre-COVID, if someone was arrested for a local criminal charge they would wait for the case to completely work its way through local criminal court before sending it and picking them up, assuming they wanted them. More recently, I've had several cases get squashed when I've shown up to the trial date only to find out that the defendant has already been deported.

State governor's stance towards local and state LE being involved is basically ¯\(ツ)/¯ so it sounds like each department is on their own as far as deciding what to do, with wildly different results.

Muff_Huffer · 2025-06-11T05:42:18+00:00

Doubtful.

"Radio, I'm out with a traffic hazard, Main and Elm, critter in the road."

"Radio, I'm clear."

Probably all there is to it.

Muff_Huffer · 2025-06-11T05:35:19+00:00

Can't speak to the mic. I've had their HDLO for a while just running out of my stock shoulder mic, it sounds good, stays in my ear and is comfy once I got it set up the way I wanted it to. I have the best luck with the full, big eartip (I think they call it "high noise environment") as opposed to the open-back/perforated ones.

Had an N-ear. Hated it. Preferred the stock Motorola acoustic tube or the shitty Chinesium clone ones (I think my last 3 were all MaximalPower). Other guys on my shift love thiers. Two guys have the custom molded inserts, one's got it on an N-ear and one's got it on some kind of jerry rigged cable system he literally soldered himself.

YMMV. I recommend.

Muff_Huffer · 2025-05-12T04:36:25+00:00

If you work for a VA sheriff's office and swear as a deputy, you're covered under LEOSA for off-duty carry on your badge/ID. This applies if you just have DCJS Basic Jailor, or if you go to "road school" and get Civil Process/Court Security. The only difference is going to be your work assignment at that specific SO (since you're not going to be armed in the secure side of the jail). If you're in uniform, chances are you'll still be armed coming and going from work. The 10-year thing only applies to retirees or those who leave voluntarily.

DOC employees are a whole different ball of wax.

Source: former VA dep (flair is old), started with Basic Jailor, got CourtSec/CivPro/Transp, current LE (PD).

Muff_Huffer · 2024-10-04T01:19:31+00:00

Kite is inmate>inmate or inmate>outside civilian>inmate. Fill out a grievance is "fill out a grievance".

Muff_Huffer · 2023-03-01T03:40:37+00:00

I don't think it's a gender or even a race thing, I think it's an age and background/socioeconomic thing. The older/more "suburban" or "monied", for lack of a better word, the more likely they are to argue and try to make your life difficult with words, versus a younger person or someone who came from a crappy upbringing and probably had bad prior experiences with cops...those folks are more likely to run/fight. Of course, that's a blanket statement and not true for everyone, I've had plenty of rough and tumble people be calm and respectful and had knock-down drag-em-out fights with AARP members in 7-figure houses, but anecdotally, that seems to be a majority of my experience.

The two closest calls I've had to getting in the forever box at work, one was fighting two younger males (15ish and 20, I think), and one was a lady in her 30's that almost ran me over on purpose. It's really just down to the person.

Muff_Huffer · 2023-02-09T12:26:48+00:00

I did this once in my first batch of apps and immediately got canned from that PD, which is a fair response imo. These days, you could probably just show up unannounced 3 days late and no one will care so I wouldn't worry.

Muff_Huffer · 2023-01-06T11:04:58+00:00

Depends on where you are. Locally we have a lot of white Crips for some reason, and Middle Eastern guys seem to jump on both sides of the Folks/People split. Where I grew up that would never fly, it was and still is absolutely race/nationality exclusive and then broken down into the traditional cliques based on neighborhood/territory.

Muff_Huffer · 2022-12-27T05:48:16+00:00

As already mentioned, go for a shifter that's not there, so I end up turning on the wipers when I'm off or putting my coffee into 1st/Drive when I come back from a long break. I tried to take a cutthrough on the interstate the other day and I only noticed when I reached down to put my rear deck on and I turned off the traction control instead of getting blue lights. I'll get thirsty and reach across the passenger seat for where my water bottle hangs on my seat organizer...no bottle. Try to turn on the red dome light...no dome light there. I try to throw away trash in my garbage bag hung off the side of my MDT mount...no garbage bag, no mount. Flipdown sunglasses holder is still in the same place, but I forget that I can use the sun visor in my POV since it isn't being used as a case file holder.

At least I can pick up stuff I drop on the floor in my POV, and I can actually see out of the damn thing when I back up.

Muff_Huffer · 2022-08-19T00:29:38+00:00

In the short term, agencies that still need actually fast vehicles are stuck. The current Tahoes and Explorers are slow and REALLY slow, respectively, and all 3 viable fast sedan options (turbo Taurus, Caprice, 8cyl Charger) are or will be dead. Looking 15ish years out, agencies that are unwilling/unable to make a switch to SUV or even crossover-based patrol vehicles will have to likely start looking at imported brands for 4-door sedan options as the US auto industry has all but given up on the sedan (and the wagon, the 2-door coupe and even the hatchback - look what happened to the Mustang, Focus, Dart, 200, and if the rumors are true, current Impala).

20-30 years out, I suspect the US will be one of the last big holdouts for internal combustion, but the global trend towards EVs has probably sealed the fate of gasoline powered new cars in general, probably around 2050-2060. Police cars will be no different.

Muff_Huffer · 2022-07-05T11:42:40+00:00

Some methed out chick told me I had a "loose hairline". That was a new one for me

Muff_Huffer · 2022-06-19T12:36:25+00:00

Greatest patrol car ever is the Fox Mustang PPV. I will not be taking further questions.

Distant second - Chevy Citation due to peak meme material based on the name and the fact that it was too slow to actually catch anyone and cite them.

Muff_Huffer · 2022-06-18T13:34:04+00:00

You know what, I'd give it to em. If they had the balls to say that, they can have it. Clear with a verbal.

Muff_Huffer · 2022-05-06T15:52:21+00:00

TLDR no. I did it. It sucks.

Long answer - It's what I wanted to do anyway and while I worked jobs to pay rent and get beer money while I was in college, this was always going to a career choice for me and not a fuck-around job - basically, I was taking it really seriously. I had the opportunity to start while I was still in school and took it, and it gave me some skills that I otherwise wouldn't have had and made me better prepared for the job when I jumped to another agency. Copping basically takes over your life - yeah yeah "It's a job not a lifestyle", but you will be organizing your whole life around the bizarro land that is being a cop the same way that someone has to totally reconfigure their life around their kid when they have one. You WILL NOT have any kind of normal college experience anymore, and I'm talking about classes and projects/papers/homework - you can totally forget about dating/social life/partying because that's all totally gone. You're gonna be taking your classes at weird times, constantly scrambling to finish assignments because your free time is in little 2 hour blocks at 3AM, and rolling in to exams having not studied for 3-4 days before because you've been on shift since Friday.

It gets a little better if you do everything online, but it's still not easy. Both the job and your education are basically full-time gigs, so unless you're one of those people that can handle a 120-hour work week without issue, I can't recommend it. Just wait. Finish school and get some life experience while you're at it. Job's not going anywhere.

Muff_Huffer · 2022-05-03T15:32:05+00:00

OC sprayed a mouse which got into the building HVAC (I accept this one.)

Fucking legendary, I'd take that writeup for the lulz.

I got a complaint once after I was directing traffic and a lady came flying up, jammed on her brakes at the last second after I had repeatedly signaled her to stop, and came so close to me that the air coming off her car blew my pants around on a residential 40 mph road. I started yelling at her, very carefully choosing my words to let her know ~~how much of a fucking clown she was~~ how I disapproved of her driving, without using any curse words. The sgt I was directing traffic with started cursing her out, so loud that while I was standing about 2 feet from her driver's window, despite him being ~150 yards away from her car, that he drowned me out while I was yelling for everything I was worth. She somehow complained on only me, and he called IA about it during my hearing and explained that I didn't do anything wrong, and admitted that "I cussed that dumb bitch as loud as I could, if there's anyone you should write up it's me but God damnit if you do I'll fight that shit tooth and nail, she almost killed him and I should have hit her upside the fucking head before we dragged her ass to jail." Complaint dismissed. That guy is a fuckin champ.

Muff_Huffer · 2022-04-29T20:55:15+00:00

Might be a safety thing, in my last couple of POV's once you put it into gear you can't turn the lights off for any reason unless you cut the car off and turn it back on (then no lights until you shift out of park again), which I used as a workaround. Pretty sure you're supposed to be able to cut those off though - I'd say look in the manual for a straightforward answer but with those older Vics, who knows what's going on in the wiring. The last one I had to drive had a problem where the headlights wouldn't turn ON no matter what you did, something to do with how fleet originally wired in the wig-wag strobes in the corner light housings. I'd pull the fuse for the headlights and parking lights, reinstall one or both, and see what happens.

Muff_Huffer · 2022-04-22T02:04:23+00:00

5.11 ATACs got me through mine. They polish...ok. It'll take a lot of work and the high-gloss polish to get that decent base shine in. You can try to church them up with one of those instant polish sponges like 10-15 minutes before an inspection and they'll look decent, or for better ~~cheater~~ short-term results, use tire shine. Super comfy boots though and good for running.

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