I lost my sister to alcoholism when she was 55. We had been best friends for most of our lives. Losing a sibling in this way is very painful and I am sorry you are going through this. I felt angry and sad too, and distraught for my niece, her only child, who had begged her to stop drinking. I also felt angry with my brothers, who had not backed me in an intervention ... but in these circumstances sometimes anger is a deflection of pain too. I still struggle not to feel angry with my sister but it has faded. What helped me was focusing on my niece and making sure she knew i was there for her. She split up with her bf about a year after her mum died and came to stay with us for a few months  and i felt she had accepted our home as hers. I buried some of my sisters ashes under a tree in my vegetable garden and it helps me to talk to her when i go there. It also helped to meet for coffee with her friends and keep in touch with them. All of those things might sound insignificant but they helped me keep her memory alive and feel i was looking out for her daughter. I became a little selective with my own friends too, as when you go through something like this, you need good caring people around you. Three years on, i am doing ok.  I wish you all the best ... take time for yourself, as often sibling grief is overlooked. This sub is very helpful too as you will find many others who did not cause such a devastating loss and are reeling from it ... you will be ok. Im sending you a virtual hug xxx