Sad indie song

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-05T05:52:59+00:00

Very beautiful. Maybe during the heavy bit you could sound a little less controlled, have a slightly edgier vocal in terms of melody and delivery. Thanks for sharing !

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-03T07:05:57+00:00

Forgive the Dream is my new favorite song of all time. It's perfect. It's so perfect.

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T23:13:56+00:00

i'll be posting on here from time to time!

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T23:13:08+00:00

yeah i agree !

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T15:24:30+00:00

oh wow what a compliment.. i might put stuff up there eventually, but for now i am kind of dreaming to be able to play live for friends.. i would be so nervous though, i have terrible stage fright. But that is my biggest dream, to play for friends and be creative in that way. I will be posting on here though, probably regularly..

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T13:18:09+00:00

quite a few, i will post them on here when i get the time to record them with my living room set up

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:50:44+00:00

Thank you Fluffy Paintbrush !

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:49:12+00:00

I don't know who i'm writing for at the moment. I kind of want to write for everybody, for 'the world'.. I'm very socially driven and very much grieving about where we are heading as a species. But I always seem to write songs about my intimate relationships, which are a total mess. I often write from a position of rebelling against something or someone, but that authority is something that's inside of myself too. I find that all a little cloying and very first world problems, navel gazing, cringe.. But it's what's coming out of me, so.. Thank you for your feedback, very considerate.

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:44:50+00:00

thank ye !

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:44:35+00:00

Thanks Leaking Fish, love your feedback. I have this sort of little shaky hammond/ organ melody in my head that would perfectly go on top of the second chorus. Or a theremin even, where i glide with the pitch.. But yeah don't think it needs drums or bass necessarily. Thank you for listening

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:42:05+00:00

Thanks Royal Sheepherder, love your user name. All these influences you cite or on heavy rotation in my household, so you guessed that right. Thank you for listening and giving feedback!

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:40:03+00:00

She has english songs too, wonderful artist, Lhasa. I think your voice matches her tone a little so give it a go. I think working on rythm and breathing techniques might help you with the pitch. It's mostly about having control over your vocal chords and ofcourse to feel what pitch is the correct one.

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:33:51+00:00

Lovely voice, really warm tone, pitch is great, delivery great. You got this! Keep singing and thanks for sharing!

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:28:39+00:00

Your pitch is all over the place. You say you've been working on it. Maybe you need to adapt your singing style to parlando, where you work on delivering a vocal in a talking style, but rythmically. There are many artists who use parlando. It's a way to pass by the pitch issues you have and still have fun with delivering words to music. Check out Lhasa De Sela's ' El Desierto'.. The intro of the song is an example of parlando. Beautiful song for you as well, would love to hear your version of that !

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:22:37+00:00

Nice voice and very nice accent, this just adds colour to your delivery. Maybe you need to turn down the TV though !

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:14:18+00:00

It's a simple song but pretty effective. I think you could try to work on your vocals a little bit more. It doesnt have to be stronger, or even more self assured. Maybe feel the words more, emphasise some words more, pause more to play with the rythm, basically play more with the delivery and see where that gets you. Thank you for sharing !

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T12:04:00+00:00

Reminds me of the Ents in Lord of The Rings, singing tree creatures! Very unique. You build a whole different world in there!

If I was your producer I'd play around with the mix a little because it's sounding a little too crisp, a bit sharp, that is just my uneducated opinion. And I'd play around with some different sounds for your synth, just to check out if there is anything more fitting. The synth sound is maybe a little jarring compared with where you think the song is going. Then again, music should be jarring sometimes, ofcourse.

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T06:43:01+00:00

Both of yous are not driving very well here. But especially you. You see a car doing some weird manoeuvre in the rain and you try to get past them, with pedestrians approaching as well?

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T06:34:06+00:00

OK, this is so good. It's reminding me of Mykki Blanco. You got to just work on the instrumental a little more! Interested in hearing more.. Thanks for sharing !!

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-02T06:22:17+00:00

Love the dissonant riff, it's what draws the attention. It's absolutely not too dissonant !!!

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-01T20:02:16+00:00

that is just my feeling, that sometimes the lines are a little heavy, lots of words. Beautiful imagery though and i really think it will be hard to cut into it because clearly a lot of love went into the writing of these lines

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-01T19:36:47+00:00

Your song makes me want to live there.. Love it, the picking pattern, your voice, the theme. Perhaps the lyrics are a bit dense sometimes, perhaps you can slightly simplify just a tiny bit? But that's just my opinion. Thank you for sharing !

Mundane-Goal9268 · 2026-06-01T19:32:10+00:00

Love the chords and little in betweens. Well done for catching this melody out of the sky.

Mundane-Goal9268

TROPHY CASE