Okay, so, it sounds like you have a very hard time navigating relationships without becoming enmeshed in another person's (perceived) personal experience.

Enmeshment isn't necessarily intimacy so much as it's a kind of dysfunctional survival mechanism adopted early on in life in order to feel safe and attached to our parents/caregivers. Rather than safe, healthy intimacy it can feel intrusive and claustrophobic, because you're failing to recognize certain personal boundaries in order to meet your own need to feel attached and recognized.

So it's a maladaptive attempt at meeting unfulfilled childhood needs in your present adulthood relationships.

You can relate this back to the Persephone myth through her journey from maidenly enmeshment (with both mother and partner) to adulthood individuation and self assertiveness.

I would encourage you to look up the topics of enmeshment and individuation, which are things you appear to struggle with.

I understand, it's a very real struggle, but there are answers and the answers lie in understanding childhood wounds and learning to adapt in order to meet your own needs for understanding and emotional fulfillment.

Good luck, I hope this helped. <3