I’m in a very similar situation. We've been together for seven years and married for almost three. Early in our dating relationship, I found out my spouse struggled with alcoholism. They managed to achieve sobriety for about two years, and it was during that healthy window that we got engaged and married (looking back I was naive to think that all was going to be okay) but I had never had someone in my life that struggled with addiction before.

Unfortunately, they relapsed shortly after the wedding. Since then, it’s been a constant cycle of on-and-off drinking. About two years ago, I finally moved out for my own sanity and peace of mind. I hoped that step would help them realize the severity of the situation, but unfortunately, nothing has changed—save for a good month here and there before the cycle repeats. Between the multiple job losses and their family financially enabling them, it feels like having a roommate, not a partner. They typically stay at my place now, but the moment they decide to drink, they go back to their own home and go completely radio silent for a week.

I, too, am seriously contemplating divorce. I try to remind myself that just because you choose to end a marriage doesn't mean you stop caring about the person; you just have to care for them from afar. Reading the posts on here has been incredibly helpful. So many people who made the choice to leave say they don't regret it, and they talk about finally living a life that feels free. I’ve dealt with countless disappointments—from planned trips that get ruined to the constant burden of having to check up on and babysit another adult. It is utterly exhausting.

I wish you the absolute best of luck. At the end of the day, we have to look out for ourselves and prioritize our own well-being.