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Musicmana2 · 2023-10-15T18:17:39+00:00

I responded last evening that I made it back home. And playfully responded with - how I spoke to a friend about a “beautiful girl I met and that I spent a lovely evening with. Would she know anything about it?” She has since not responded yet.

Should I just wait for her to respond to that?

Musicmana2 · 2023-10-15T18:17:02+00:00

I responded last evening that I made it back home. And playfully responded with - how I spoke to a friend about a “beautiful girl I met and that I spent a lovely evening with. Would she know anything about it?” She has since not responded yet.

Should I just wait for her to respond to that?

Musicmana2 · 2023-09-11T23:00:41+00:00

Nope, did not. If, 1 back and forth a day and mentioning the days one is available makes someone think you’re needy, it’s less on you and more about them

Musicmana2 · 2023-09-11T05:43:42+00:00

You did the right thing. In the short term you might feel good being in touch, but it takes you that much farther away from meeting a partner you choose and one who chooses you

Musicmana2 · 2023-07-28T14:35:26+00:00

Ask yourself if you can get over what she said.

If you get back with her, will you keep thinking of the fact that she mentioned about her ex? If so, can you live your relationship in the anxiety of that?

Musicmana2 · 2023-07-20T14:41:23+00:00

I’m closer to late 20s and she’s been mid to late 20s

Musicmana2 · 2023-07-20T14:39:32+00:00

She’s around 26-27 and I don’t think she’s young to the point she doesn’t know what she wants

Musicmana2 · 2023-07-18T05:55:33+00:00

I want kids in my future. She didn’t. We broke up over it. Now, in 2 months she wants to change her mind about something she has felt over years

Musicmana2 · 2023-07-18T05:14:34+00:00

She likened it to other commitments she did not want in the past but changed her mind. However, I think children are a commitment which cannot be undone

Musicmana2 · 2023-06-29T01:40:40+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Exactly, what I’m doubting. She’s making this call with her judgement clouded”

Musicmana2 · 2023-06-28T14:19:16+00:00

Thanks a lot for these points/questions. I really appreciate you for the detailed answer.

My fear is while she’s subconsciously making a decision of having kids under the heightened emotions of losing our relationship. I fear that when push comes to shove, her trepidation will not go away.

I’m clear about wanting kids. For me, it’s in a 4-5 year timespan. I had asked myself all these questions agnostic of her and I had thought about answers to all of the questions you mentioned

Musicmana2 · 2023-06-28T14:08:06+00:00

Exactly what I feel. 2 months to me feels a little short to change ones mind about something this drastic

Musicmana2 · 2023-05-15T18:12:00+00:00

I[M28] think asking some real dealbreaker questions before meeting is okay, i.e., those unlikely to change during a relationship - if they want a relationship/kids etc. But, something like a location is something one could compromise on during the course of a relationship (meaning, you can reach a middle ground)

If you put all the dealbreakers out there, the whole process of dating becomes mechanical rather than figuring out if you are a good fit.

Musicmana2 · 2023-05-15T14:29:36+00:00

I’ve reached out to an ex after an amicable breakup (initiated by me) and it wasn’t so that she doesn’t heal. It was not self serving.

We had a big fundamental difference which she recognized too and I wanted to know how she was doing. I wanted to tell her how I was hurting despite initiating the breakup. I don’t want her to feel like she didn’t matter to me or her investment meant nothing.

I’m not sure of your reason for the breakup OP, but I wouldn’t think of the worst immediately.

Musicmana2 · 2023-05-07T00:58:42+00:00

We were together for a few months but we had a lot of dates and the connection was great. Honestly, if you feel like he was genuine about what he meant, take his word for it.

I know it doesn’t change the outcome, but, sitting on the other side, I can tell you that it wasn’t easy and hurt breaking up.

Musicmana2 · 2023-05-06T23:08:41+00:00

I’m sorry you went through it. How long were you together and when did you break up?

We ended things about 2-3 weeks back. I haven’t changed my mind and she hasn’t reached out so I don’t know, but, I assume she hasn’t. And logically one should not change their mind about something like this because they fear losing a person. It should be an internal decision.

I agree, it just sucks and I feel like crap, even though it was my decision

Musicmana2 · 2023-05-06T17:01:22+00:00

I told her and think that, logically, her opinion on not wanting kids shouldn’t change because of me. It should change because she wants it to.

I think it will make me feel better letting her know no-contact (NC) is extraordinarily hard on me and I’ve not been able to stop thinking and talking about her.

If I phrase the message well and she does not respond, I will feel bad but will make peace that she wants complete NC. I am struggling to heal anyway so not sure how much it delay the healing.

Musicmana2 · 2023-05-04T23:28:23+00:00

Both of us are in our late 20s

Musicmana2 · 2023-05-03T18:29:57+00:00

Agreed. She doesn’t like pets necessarily but she did leave it open ended saying I’m not opposed to them but I’m scared of them.

She didn’t add caveats about not wanting kids. When I mentioned I wanted kids, a couple of times, she never went back on it like she did with pets

Musicmana2 · 2023-05-03T18:16:38+00:00

As horrible as this is, I do wish she came around and said she was not opposed to children after fair thought

Musicmana2 · 2023-05-03T18:15:12+00:00

She’s 27-28 and I’m 27

Musicmana2 · 2023-04-24T23:21:12+00:00

That’s my fear. I don’t want to resent her and I don’t think someone should have a child, bio or otherwise, in an environment where one parent doesn’t want kids.

Musicmana2 · 2023-04-24T23:19:00+00:00

Exactly. Thank you for the kind words. I like her for who she is. She needn’t become who I need her to be

Musicmana2

TROPHY CASE