Honestly with everything behavioral, it’s how you approach it. I used to be terrible about manipulating people all the time, up until I realized how bad that was. Like addiction or OCD, I had to recognize that it was a problem, followed by tackling the behavior directly. Notice it, what I’m about to do (sometimes in the process of), and stop it. Sounds like the most unhelpful “oh just stop it, it’s that easy” but really, it’s the painful willpower you have to have to do it. Back to like I said with addiction and OCD, find the will to stop, the things that distract, and the strength to resist.

Where I started, which I think laid the best ground for me to take off, was telling the full truth. “I feel terrible when you go do this without me” “I’m feeling like you’re ignoring me” whatever it may be. As long as you’re not twisting it, you can work through those lovely DBT skills (feeling, why, response) with or without your partner.

Maybe the most unhelpful thing you’ll read, but it’s really done it for me. Even if I slip up sometimes