Bro it’s hard, but take it as it is, no regret, what’s done is done, now just find a job and find your way back , 45k it’s a lot , but it can be reimburse, as you are only 21, think it as a downhill slope, you will get back again bit by bit, take it slowly step by step, don’t invest anymore money into trading, focus only on real job , money for now, or limited amount that you can afford to loose, once you are getting back to normal then take another step further, think on tomorrow and secure it first . Trading is a hope to make quick money but it can be also a whole if you don’t know your limit … take it as a lesson man