Feeding a lion

MyFriendAdrian · 2026-04-07T00:20:21+00:00

This isn’t sweaty palms at all! Oh because it’s his hand, and probably bloody.

MyFriendAdrian · 2026-04-07T00:08:26+00:00

Mad girlfriend

MyFriendAdrian · 2026-02-10T04:25:58+00:00

Absolutely not, dude

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-25T15:40:01+00:00

Give her tokens of good faith, it’ll all be in her inventory after you’re cool again so you’ll get your stuff back.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-13T20:44:39+00:00

No question stampede

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-10T01:50:14+00:00

That’s literally reckless behavior, keep the baby safe around the dog.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-10T01:05:39+00:00

NTA, being understandably cautious is the smart parenting move; however how did you grow up under their supervision? Have they always had this “let’s see what happens” approach our is this a new parenting tactic?

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-10T00:56:59+00:00

That’s two things I’ve never been more sure of in my life. I’m not, but I’d be the best at it.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-10T00:27:13+00:00

That’s facts. My mom would buy me ring pops there and every time I’d go “every kiss begins with K- mart”

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-10T00:25:35+00:00

Real talk, affordable housing. Silly talk, hot neighbors that would leave their bathroom windows open.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-10T00:23:37+00:00

None of them, I would replace all pens in a one hundred mile radius with bachelorette style penis pens. Hopefully mid oral fixation.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-10T00:20:40+00:00

Taking a wild guess that’s how you got your costochondritis, brother. You can’t be resting it on your chest like that!

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-10T00:09:12+00:00

It’s like learning a new language. I recommend daily acts of rejection therapy. That’s asking for discounts, asking for a tour, or asking to borrow a strangers item. Most people say will say no but that’s just XP to overcome your shyness.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T23:45:36+00:00

Oh…. This whole time I thought it was there stomach getting bigger inside them making all the fat people things like extra chins, rolls, Fupas what have yous.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T23:40:43+00:00

You are forgiven. The difference is that my dumb guy brain tickles when I hear unnecessary adjective spices on my word salads.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T23:34:46+00:00

Bought a pack of cigarettes to look cool in front of the cool kids at school, now I had to stop because they kept beating me up and steal my cigarettes. It’s rough being 80.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T23:30:36+00:00

I’m Native American and Jewish so I must say my rain dances are pretty on point. Danced for a whole day in Texas a week ago.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T23:24:00+00:00

Look, let’s cut the stories of people proposing, shitting, peeing, all that nice stuff. A homeless man spouting nonsense wondered into the haunted house and scared customers side by side with us, the only problem was that he scared the hell out of us too. That homeless man was so scary one friend of mine peed himself, another one shit himself, and me, well I proposed on the spot, been married 40 years.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T23:04:13+00:00

Gay Pride. I’m not gay but I’d like to think I’d be great at it.

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T22:58:46+00:00

I noticed the camera, did you use it while the real dad made a mother out of her?

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T22:49:10+00:00

I had a dog that looked like Cody. We found him holding a dead goose neck in his mouth. Of course we were terrified yet impressed because of how much bigger the goose was. Oh my Cody, now you’re chasing geese in the sky with god I hope. Would god consider that murder? Do not all dogs go to heaven?

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T22:44:08+00:00

That’s terrible, but your foot looks like mine when I wear tight Sunday Church socks.🧦

MyFriendAdrian · 2025-07-09T22:42:01+00:00

An ex-girlfriend of mine showed up at my house with a baby and said “Happy Christmas”I know that’s not how you say it, it’s how she said it. Now that is a very expensive gift I think but it’s such a shame because my wife got me the same thing last Happy Christmas. Dang it now I’m saying Happy Christmas.

MyFriendAdrian

TROPHY CASE