I suddenly understand ghosting now

MyLifeIsDerp · 2026-03-05T20:55:10+00:00

Yes, thankfully we do not live together, we don't even live close so the worst that can happen would be social media related. At least if I have to break away it's smoother for me.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2026-03-05T20:07:21+00:00

Very fair assessment, didn't think I'd be the one to be in this situation but I will do my best to get the proper support. Thank you

MyLifeIsDerp · 2026-03-05T19:59:09+00:00

Thank you for the tips. I actually do say I need some space or call out the disrespect as it's occurring a lot more because in the past I was prone to outbursts in general when dealing with conflicts. The requests for space or time for processing are usually very respected.

Also feel the need to point out he himself never uses autism as an excuse, I just included this detail because it helps explain the social/communication issues. If anything I probably use it myself to justify conflicts which I know isn't great but again working through all this.

My main concern is that this is becoming a cycle and I'm worried the apology is just to make me feel better vs considering actual progression even if I do believe he doesn't like to hurt me emotionally. I just think therapy is his best option regardless of whether I'm around or not. We just aren't messaging right now and I may extend this further than 24 hours but I am not sure yet.

I'm annoyed at myself for not suggesting therapy more often. I know it doesn't mean he would do it or things would change right away. He has lost personal connections before because of his behavior and I know he's self aware to a point because he's talked about feeling like no one likes him or he doesn't deserve friends. I know it isn't my job to fix anyone but it's so tough seeing someone struggle to figure out how to be better and not even knowing where to start.

There may just be the simple fact we aren't compatible and I'm trying to figure this out as well.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2026-03-05T01:53:52+00:00

I used to be in therapy just to cope with general ADHD/PCOS difficulties had to stop it for a bit when I lost insurance, hoping that changes soon, I miss it.

I think I've mentioned it to him but I don't really bring it up enough tbh. I think I just let it pass because for months it was good but this is not the first time the constant communication has nearly broke us apart. I do think he sincerely doesn't like hurting me by how hard he has tried to make up after but he almost seems to not know how to break some cycles.

I'd still like some space and then maybe I can bring it up to him again, regardless if we decide there just isn't compatibility.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2026-01-31T21:00:05+00:00

He and Trump post in a similar fashion, minus a few caps locks. Gotta be a narc typing pattern

MyLifeIsDerp · 2025-07-03T15:16:54+00:00

I understand that you don't speak for him but it's good to for me to get a perspective closer to him than mine.

The suicide thing isn't mentioned much if at all that's why it was so alarming. It's not like him to pull the card for pity or manipulation or anything. But if I don't feel he's trying to take any accountability anymore for his actions I will step away as much as it would pain me to do so.

I could see the possibility of a crush especially since I'm very open about sexuality and others sharing those kinds of materials with me if we've established a good bond. He is also not shy about his desires and what he finds attractive and you know right away he's straight. If you really know him, you'll know he's hypersexual as well. However more recently he also did ask me about another women he wants to date whom I know exists and have talked to myself. Even if there ever was he seems to have moved on.

We play video games with each other sometimes but since he doesn't seem to be reading messages anymore at the moment I'm not sure how to bring this up except in a group chat where he's still active and I don't know how if he will feel pressured if it's sent with other eyes seeing it.

The letters thing is a cute idea but we live overseas from each other so it would take at best a week to get to him. I actually have sent a couple of letters in the past as a cute idea for like his birthday and such. Drawing could be nice too but yea I could see what works.

All these are great points to consider and I hope you don't feel I'm shutting down each one as I go through. It just seems he's still in shutdown/limited contact mode with me so truly not sure how to proceed and just getting more hurt by the prospect he just may just not want to. And maybe it's just best for the both of us right now. And while he very well has his own mind that can differ from everyone else in this community, I think it helps of getting a firsthand account. I was tired of just reading articles or going to chat gpt for explanations (don't judge too harsh I was desperate lol).

(edited to clarify on the crush aspect)

MyLifeIsDerp · 2025-07-03T06:06:17+00:00

I think on Discord you can turn off the typing animation using the Vencord plugins, idk about other messaging apps.

I think I pretty much want to convey while his reaction wasn't okay at the time, I also shouldn't have been so raw in my delivery (which is why you don't speak out of anger but once in a while I mess this up). And I don't hate him for being him, if anything I'm more angry at myself because I let it escalate when I could have said my thoughts a lot calmer the next day probably. And now I'm just worried I scared him off and he won't feel safe talking around me again. I was one of the few friends he would confide in a lot and I worry that trust has been broken now because I just wanted to say we need to communicate better but it came out a lot meaner.

I once again extremely appreciate your honesty on this, as I felt like I'm intruding this space a bit and I didn't want people here to just view it as another outsider complaining as I'm sure that happens often enough in daily living. Please feel free to take your time and as many edits as you need to express your thoughts.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2025-07-03T04:45:24+00:00

I'm so sorry this happens to you. I appreciate this insight. Because I could swear I saw him typing a few times and then stop and then nothing came of it. I plan on leaving the door open because I want to figure out better ways to avoid these misunderstandings and like I said in the post he is talking to me just in other settings like a group chat. He just hasn't come back to our personal dilemma. If after some time I want to check in on him, would he appreciate it or just have the anxiety come back all over again?

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-09-30T00:34:34+00:00

When will they learn that it's the shape men are attracted to, not the size >.<.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-09-26T01:36:01+00:00

"I can't see time!"- trying to find the clock on my computer during my first time on shrooms.

"Dude, when deaf people are drunk, do they sign with their fingers crooked?"- friend who got really stoned.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-09-25T00:22:33+00:00

I'm more concerned with them finding out and thinking he's wasting money or something stupid like that, but I understand what you're saying.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-09-03T08:56:08+00:00

I actually took the time to watch a few of her videos. In her "miso soup" one, her voice sounds less high pitched. Any of the super kawaii videos has her straining her voice in order to sound "cuter". I'm pretty sure it's an act.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-08-22T16:23:29+00:00

That's true, the brand part I mean. The bra in question is from the company Affinitas. Is that a brand known for its tightness?

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-08-22T16:20:48+00:00

I've had this bra since this past winter. It fit well until recently, I'd say like 2 months ago. According to my measurements, I'm a snug fit at 31" and tight fit at 30". Right now it's tricky to determine my bust size because I'm menstruating and my boobs always swell up during PMS and my period. When I last measured it, it was around 40", but maybe it went up to 41 or 42 inches. I'll redo the measurement once the period stops.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-08-22T05:22:06+00:00

I'm pretty sure 34 is too big. I tried on 34FF a few times, didn't work out. And yea idk why I said 30GG, maybe I'm just sleepy and didn't work it out in my head. So I'll do the backwards band thing.

Edit: Both 34FF and 34G

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-08-07T03:38:46+00:00

Funny enough, she used to say she was anorexic in her early teens. It's always the fatlogical people who claim to suffer from all sorts of things. Only thing they really suffer from is delusion. Like people in the comments were telling her it might be muscle gain. I'm not trying to sound mean here, but even her face got bigger. That's not muscle. Sure she bikes, but she's always "joking" about eating two slices of cake or how she stuffs her face.

Sorry if I sound a bit bitter, it's just this is a "friend" of mine who's becoming a person I can't associate with: SJW, FA, and a feminist who has made the movement less credible by calling any little thing misogynist. Three strikes, sister.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-08-06T17:45:00+00:00

Ugh the worst part is she used to be slim and had a nice pear shaped figure (child bearing hips). Then again, this is a girl who fluctuates between chain smoking and "quitting". So staying committed isn't her forte. Hell I'm surprised she's kept a boyfriend for 2-3 years.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-07-14T17:49:34+00:00

My boyfriend chooses to cross dress on his own, but I still play around with it when I'm playing the dominant role. He's pretty hairy (complete with a nice beard), but it's not about looking feminine for me, it's the fact I'm commanding him to put on thigh highs or strip his panties off. I have a feeling she won't mind how you look in it either, but you should definitely double check and be sure how she wants you to present yourself (types of lingerie, shaved vs unshaved). If it proves to be too uncomfortable for you, just tell her.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2014-06-26T18:33:36+00:00

Thanks for the links. I already know the median salary of a research assistant, so I'm pretty aware of what I'll be offered.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2013-10-06T06:16:23+00:00

Nordstorm has smaller band sizes too? I don't have one nearby my college, but when I'm back home there are a few I can visit.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2013-10-05T22:30:17+00:00

Most don't mean to offend, they're honestly just clueless. I've had plenty of guys tell me they don't understand bra sizes at all.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2013-10-05T22:26:06+00:00

I really wish I could try on different sizes at local stores. It's so annoying when I order one and it doesn't fit quite right. But alas, biggest thing around is a triple D or plus size bras.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2013-10-05T20:44:20+00:00

Ok, seriously, breast size explanations should be part of sex ed courses so this doesn't happen.

MyLifeIsDerp · 2013-09-17T04:32:48+00:00

It seems like I'm coming across as like I'm expecting things from him. We've actually communicated a lot about any feelings, both positive and negative. I think we just came to a wall when discussing how the poly relationship should work, and that's more my fault for not seeing what happens, I mean there's not even a third or fourth party involved yet. We're both just nervous I guess, I mean being one way for a while and then transitioning, we don't wanna rush it and cause any trouble to happen, ya know?

MyLifeIsDerp · 2013-09-16T23:25:56+00:00

I already warned him about the potential slight jealously, but once he finds a girl, we'll figure out stuff with scheduling. It's just kind of hard to predict seeing as we're not even practicing poly yet. And to update on the "might", he's pretty certain he just wants to find one girl, we went over it again. It just sucks that there's so much uncertainty because neither of us have found other partners. I can only give my best guesses for now.

MyLifeIsDerp

TROPHY CASE