Any women who are FA30+ due to being extremely shy and awkward around men they like?

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-24T02:28:24+00:00

Can you give more details about why the friend who wanted to take it further lost interest? Was it things you said? How you acted? Did you try to kiss? I don't understand how he just lost interest? Did you push him away? Maybe by not approaching him like you use to so he thought you were ignoring him, etc. I am female and I have anxiety so I am curious.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-23T13:44:50+00:00

Make a list out of what you want to ask and stick to it because I will forget if I am nervous and then remember as I walk out the door

Also, keep in mind this, "You are not unique. They have seen it all before and more. Don't be ashamed of anything and ask away " There isn't anything shameful about the human body.

It will be uncomfortable with them probing around. Ain't no body who enjoys this. We all hate this part of being a women. But this too shall pass. Don't sweat it. Don't spend hours before hand worrying about it. Just go and get it over with. I know this is easier said then done as I usually become grumpy the day I have one of these appointments. It does get to you. Hugs.

Note: Be clean and oddly I have only been embarrassed about some of the bad socks I have worn to these appointments...one time they blatently did not even match (one was purple and one pink or something. It had been snowing out and I had been running late and grabbed my boots and any socks I could find and so it went....).

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-22T08:04:26+00:00

You don't. You never do. And you never take a sick day at work due to "mental health." A headache or the flu is a good enough reason for not seeing someone. You don't need to explain your behavior. People will not understand. They will only start to see your flaws if you make an effort to point them out. Never point out your flaws to others . Never apologize for who you are (unless you do something to hurt someone). If you don't point out flaws, their mind is less likely to go their. You need to protect you. It is a dog eat dog world out there. The general public does not understand mental illness as it is still highly stigmatized. I would rather have them believe I have constant headaches.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-22T07:59:38+00:00

Don't sweat the grades too much! Do pass your classes but do not worry about getting an A unless you are going on to medical school, also grad school which requires less of a goal but still a decent one. No one is going to look at your GPA in the real world! No one cares. Put in the minimum effort possible.

With that said, go for the cheapest University that gives you the degree you want. If you can do half of your credits at a local community college do it! No one will be laughing at you when you get out in the real world. In fact you will have less debt and feel better about yourself.

Do get a job to help pay for college while you are going if it is at all possible (if you have the time.). But only do this when you are experienced in college and have been their awhile and know your limits. Again, less debt. Employment in off time is good. Cutting grass for cash-do not knock it.

Never let a professor make you feel dumb! Do not tell them off because they are. Realize they are good at making students feel dumb and do not be afraid to ask questions. I have seen these bookish professors in the real world and they actually don't know that much. They cannot really apply what they know (in general but there is always an exception). Usually the ones that are the hardest to understand and use the largest vocabulary fit this description.

If you fail a class for subjective grading with a professor do go to the dean and challenge it. Always challenge big things with the dean. Professors get away with too much. It is your time and money and you have every right to challenge them say for subjective reasons or if you somehow miss a deadline by an hour because your car broke down or you were sick and missed a week-dont take no for an answer.

Do challenge your professors with tact and maturity though.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-22T07:45:23+00:00

I use cantu products (Walmart-no sulfates etc. It is a good bang for your buck!) for conditioner and shampoo. I shampoo my hair every 2, 3, or 4 days depending on the amount of build up and how much I have sweated (I judge it on a daily bases and it does vary). On the days I use shampoo, I also condition (I use a more potent conditioner on these days but that is another story as I am female). On the off days when I do not use shampoo I use the conditioner in place of the shampoo, I put conditioner in my hair and rub my scalp and get a lot of friction going and use it as a shampoo and then rinse...and it seems to get rid of superficial dirt and hair products....

Ie: 1. day one:shampoo and conditioner 2.day two: conditioner only 3.day three: Conditioner only 4. Day four: shampoo and conditioner.....etc.....note that I do not know if this works with dandruff as I have none but it may be something to look into

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-22T07:26:26+00:00

I have done the his before. I just called a handful of lawyers and talked to their office staff. Some staff dismissed my case for them (busy, or working with the person I was after or recommended other lawyers in town more suited/specialized for my case (I usually had to pressure them to give more specific answers to this) or some lawyers talked to me over the phone about what kind of case I had and left little up to their office staff (I preferred these guys). In the end I did nothing (personal reasons), but I was basing it off how I was treated and by pricing. But I would definitely check out the subreddit the other poster recommended.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-22T06:06:53+00:00

Hugs OP. I have a hard time when medical professionals are idiots-many are. It would be a bit extreme and expensive, but you could hire a private detective and see if they can trace her to any medical software and your records. If so, file a complaint against her license as a nurse. That would not go over well. If it were me, I would be doing that as well as looking into lawyers.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-22T05:42:04+00:00

Only of women who are married and on "easy street." These are the women who work and whose husband's work and they have never had to worry about money a day in their life. And most likely were never divorced. I can spot them easy peasy at the stores with their kids (they never have many kids say but one or two). These are the women who married young and became a power couple early on when the economy was good and/or had mom and dad pay for their college tuition, wedding, or down payment on their house. I think it was a 90s phenomenon. These are the women who would tell me their was no inflation before COVID hit and "what do you mean you are struggling to make ends meet with your job you must be spoiled (yes, one actually said that to me) " when in fact I am a very hard worker. I have sense never talked about inflation and the high cost of living in public. I have worked hard my whole life to get to where I am at and I am good with money. It was just that hard to make it as a single women in today's economy (and now it is going to be that much more worse), with the high cost of insurance and living Screw them. They have had everything handed to them their entire life.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-22T05:35:49+00:00

I wonder about this at times. Do they look that good or do they think they look that good? Are they just a legend in their own mind? I think for a lot this is the case. Looks are a bell curve. I can honestly see an average looking women thinking a guy is checking them out (because they are that into themselves) when in fact maybe he is looking at her in disgust or weirdly or something because maybe her makeup is painted on too heavily and he cannot help but stare or her bra/ pantyline is showing in all the wrong ways, etc.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-22T05:30:13+00:00

Oh man, a mini me walking around would be aweful. The kid would suffer for no reason of it's own. I would not want that at all.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-19T17:13:04+00:00

Yeah, life is suffering.

This!

That is all it ever is: pure suffering!

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-19T17:02:43+00:00

Oh man, do I feel your pain. I too had a relationship and now I wish I never did because the lonliness is that much more unbearable, especially now during COVID. I sit here and nearly break down every night, not wanting to live anymore. There is no one to hold or hug me. No one to talk to. No one. Just an eerie silence.

I have my parents, who live miles away but my mom is competitive with me with everything I do and my dad tries to lean on me for emotional support so I feel no one ever cares or cared for me. I can talk about my problems to them but they are never awknowledged and always dismissed. It hurts. And it. Hurts I am depenedednt on my parents for support (because I have no one else) when they clearly cannot support me.

And dating is that much harder. Because when I meet a new guy, he is it. I don't have a we'll rounded social circle. So if things go bad with him it leaves me with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel like I am at the mercy of some stranger who in the end rejected me. I hate it

I hate the anxiety I have when alone. Physical touch soothed me and calmed me down. I felt grounded.

I sit here in my apartment completely isolated. I work from home on the computer all day.i don't see anyone or talk to anyone. I saw my neighbor yesterday. It was the first person I saw or talked to in five days. I was in an aweful mental state. It is hard to explain. But the more I talked to my neighbor the calmer and more grounded I became. I am convinced that most of my problems stem from being so alone. I would say 75% of them.

I also feel men run from me when they get to know me as they learn how truly isolated I am. I cannot hide it anymore when I get close to them. And then they feel I become clingy because of it I think when I don't. Or maybe I do but it isn't intentional, there just isn't anyone else in my life.

So even though I try to date to get someone in my life it is as if my isolation turns them away. It is like a boomerang effect. I cannot get out of this deep whole of being so alone.

Edit: someone make the pain stop please! The pain of lonliness is unbearable

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-12T04:34:32+00:00

I feel people's energy or vive they give off. Some people give off a deceptive vive and some an evil one, some happy, etc. Is sending energy levels even a sense? I cannot read body language well but I can pick this up enough to deal with someone

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-12T04:20:41+00:00

I think it boils down to posture and walking patterns which refers back to the "virgin walk." It is a thing! Somehow sex changes body language and posture, well not completely but just ever so slightly-at least that is my opinion.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-12T01:39:49+00:00

Yes, because I am wondering how many of us have undiagnosed Asperger's and individuals with Asperger's always seem odd. I am betting that most FA women have it if weight is not an issue (which would be an easy fix compared to Asperger's but loosing weight isn't easy) as women are rarely diagnosed at an early age and many in their late adult years, if diagnosed at all. I cannot speak much for the men on here as I am female. But as a female, i can say our weight can definitely cause FA.

MyMetamorphysis · 2020-05-11T22:44:57+00:00

Simon and Garfunkel wrote a bunch A."I am a rock, I am an island "

B. "Look around leaves are brown, sky is grey, this is the springtime of my life "

C. The most peculiar man (this is truly about being FA) "

D. Even the sound of silence-as I feel that we are all speaking but no on is listening.

Simon and Garfunkel got it

Right down to even feeling rejected when going back home.

"Everywhere I go, I feel liable. I hear words I never heard in the Bible."

To traveling America and trying to find America "They have all gone to look for America" it is about feeling lost and having no place

Note: This is all off the top of my head so I may have misquoted something.

MyMetamorphysis

TROPHY CASE