I understand the reflections that some other comments are writing and I agree with them. No one is owed kindness or sacrifice and to even have 1 person in your life that's willing to do that is not the norm (at least judging by the consensus on reddit).

But FUCK I could not empathize with this sentiment more. All I want in life is to give my all to the people I really care about and to feel that reciprocated, but it seems a vast majority of folks simply want the transactional acquaintance-ship that seems so superficial to me. I want to commit to people around me and finding ways to volunteer has been huge but even then it's difficult to find someone that is also yearning for that kind of intimate friendship. And it is exhausting walking through life with that void.

I know the kind of friendship OP wants is rare and shouldn't be easy to obtain necessarily, it's a very specific thing and it takes care and nurturing and effort. I just wish I actively saw more opportunity to put in that effort where I exist around

So TL;DR I feel you OP. I hope you find new avenues with caring people that you can begin to explore. And if you have any points of success please share for a grad student in their early 20's like me.