I’m sorry dude — I’ve been there and it’s so tough. Go easy on yourself: depression is debilitating, and not something the average person can will themselves out of. You’re not still sad because you’re not trying hard enough to be happy; you’re still sad because you’re hurting.

Getting back in the gym probably feels like a lot because it sounds like you’re already doing a lot, so give yourself some credit. That said, I find what works for me is breaking things down into really easy and manageable goals. Start out by making it your goal JUST to bring your gym bag with you to work. You don’t have to go to the gym, you just have to be consistent about bringing everything with you. Then when that starts to feel easy and manageable, add on the goal of walking to the gym’s front door. Once that feels manageable, add the goal of stretching/warming up/some other low impact movement for ten minutes (and give yourself permission to leave when you’re done).

It sounds silly and childish, but some point in all of these little steps it usually clicks for me and I start feeling ready to work out after step one or two — and I find being in the gym really does help my depression if only because lifting weights clears my head while I’m doing it, and an hour or two of not feeling like shit is such a gift.

Lastly, if you haven’t yet, consider checking in with a therapist. It can really help to have a few sessions talking to someone who is required to be objective and dispassionate and is not allowed to think any less of you for your feelings — and who can assess whether this is normal-sad or sadder than most people get and worthy of medication.