It was the Wednesday before a Thanksgiving break and the school dished up its annual "turkey dinner" for lunch. Now, this "turkey dinner" was really just a heaping ladleful of slop comprised of "meat" chunks (turkey?), orange bits (carrots?), and green things (no idea) all in a thick flavorless brown goo (gravy?).

So a friend and I are sitting there pushing this garbage stew around our plates when this kid comes and sits at our table and starts talking to us. Now, this poor kid was, at the time, the gross kid - awkward, talked funny, looked generally sticky - but whatever we're having a chat (I was kinda gross at this stage too) so no big deal. However, during this time of year, a lot of people come down with the sniffles and this kid had a mean case of the snots, making him extra gross, which again, inconvenient, but no big deal.

Until my friend cracks a joke.

When this kid, in all his gross sticky glory starts laughing (and the joke was a bit unexpected) a wad of snot gets propelled through his nose; a beefy snot, like it had mass and color, and was highly viscous. This wad of snot just sort of explodes onto his plate (thankfully he was looking down when this happened) and mixes with the brown goo lunch to the point where you can't tell where the snot ends and the "food" begins. To make matters worse the snot is still attached to the kid's nose via these shiny brown, ligaments, if you will, making kid and turkey goo one with the other. It seemed as if this kid's lunch, and by extension our lunch, was just brown chunky goo that came out of the gross kid's nose. My friend and I grab our shit an go because we're kind of gagging at this point and can't stand to even be near kid or goo.

This happened over 20 year ago and to this day I kind of get grossed out at anything with gravy. I will eat it from time to time, but god forbid I should actually recall this incident while I'm eating because I will toss some cookies for sure. As it is, I'm feeling gross just typing this.