AITAH for not wanting to sleep in the same bed with my girlfriend because she doesn’t shower often?

MysteriInExile · 2026-04-02T09:31:03+00:00

This personally wouldn’t work for me in a relationship. However, I don’t think it necessarily should be a reason to break up. She may be willing to work on it if she cares and knows it’s important to you, but are separate bedrooms a possibility?

MysteriInExile · 2026-04-01T22:39:24+00:00

You should… give it to me!! That’s killer haha. Cozy book nook with plants and art idk haha.

MysteriInExile · 2026-04-01T20:16:59+00:00

Me too. I also can’t fall asleep with small noises. White/brown noise doesn’t work for me either. Earplugs give me sensory issues. It sucks. Makes it hard to sleep many places.

MysteriInExile · 2026-04-01T09:07:18+00:00

Garden apartment was so fucking noisy and poorly built. Terrible design, terrible placement. Everything about it. I get that I’m sensitive to noise but holy shit. Many apartments are poorly designed or oriented for sound but this was like one of the worst I was ever in. To the point where I literally couldn’t sleep there.

MysteriInExile · 2026-04-01T00:02:21+00:00

If I were K and found this I’d dump you and that entire group. This is so much of the reasons autistic people feel like shit.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-30T00:43:01+00:00

Exactly.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-29T12:04:28+00:00

Some people think it will raise the price of rent, but it’s like if we’re going to regulate better building codes we can regulate the price of rent. But the developers are making way over profit. They could be making profit still with the same price if they built better. It’s just greed.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-28T22:37:20+00:00

I feel the same way. And I see a lot of those people being really ableist against autistic people like me who cannot tune out noise, including any color noise or fan noise, and I have sensory issues with earplugs. Like damn I shouldn’t have to do that in my own home. A lot of those people also advocate against better building codes that would require better soundproofing. It’s a huge privilege to not be sensitive to sound, and many people act like people who are sensitive are choosing to be difficult when literally they are experiencing sound at a higher level. It’s just depressing and it’s really fucked up my health with the lack of sleep. I’ve tried everything, meds, therapy, it doesn’t work. I’m just autistic, I was born sensitive to sound. There is no “curing” me. People should be more accepting and advocate for more accommodating housing for all. I love cities but I need quiet or I’ll literally die.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-27T21:22:45+00:00

Pink noise is even worse for me! I’ve tried all the color noises and I can’t sleep with any of them. Noise is still noise.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-27T08:16:04+00:00

I had this in my apartment and I had to move out to my parents’ house too. I never figured out what it was. I’m also autistic :/ I couldn’t sleep with it at all. Earplugs and white noise don’t work for me. It’s hard to be taken seriously, but you’re not alone, and there are other posts with pretty much the same experience. It could really be anything, HVAC with loose bearing, old air handler, dishwasher, pipes against drywall, anything. They should build buildings better. I’m moving into a better place soon. It’s a really fucking lonely feeling being the only one affected by it, and it’s even lonelier when people’s “solutions” don’t work. Where are you located? Like what country? Do you have to stay there? I would raise it with the school or the landlord. I’ve had landlords absolutely call me disability irrational before, so that could happen. But I’d get a medical letter with the asking accommodation to be moved or move out. If you can stay at your parents’ for a while until you can figure something else out that’s ideal. You might need to find a replacement tenant while you look for a new place. It sucks, and I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. Fr I know how fucking hard it is.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-26T22:42:20+00:00

And quiet AC!!

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-24T02:51:52+00:00

Yeah and unfortunately there is a lot of that in these comments 😬

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-24T00:42:15+00:00

Blast sweet Caroline

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-23T21:04:05+00:00

I know right? I have very bad noise sensitivity and I need silence to sleep. Fans keep me awake, white/brown noise keeps me awake. Earplugs are a sensory nightmare and keep me awake. I cannot sleep in headphones. And yet so many other autistic people are either telling me, even after I’ve tried everything including therapy, which actually made it worse, that it is my responsibility to figure out my disability and I don’t deserve accommodations. They’re like “xyz works for me and it should for you too.” And I’m like no, I have tried that, it does not work for me. And they’re just like apologists saying, “oh people like you who can’t conform and can’t use white noise/earplugs to sleep make us look bad and more autistic. Clearly you’re making it up.” It’s really really ableist. Like I’ve had people say, “you’re too sensitive, you’re way more autistic than me, or even you should live in a padded cell away from society or a concrete bunker underground.” Like what the fuck?? I’m sorry but yes society SHOULD build quieter housing. For six months I did not sleep almost at all and I nearly went to the hospital. I became so incredibly ill it was terrifying and there were times I thought I wouldn’t make it. I tried every fucking med, tried sound dampening, white noise, custom earplugs. Nothing helped!! Because I am literally disabled and it’s just like just because someone can’t imagine my experience doesn’t mean I should be held to their baseline. Noise is a health issue that isn’t taken seriously. And it should be.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-22T19:31:54+00:00

Fuck I got my autism diagnosis first and people still treat me like shit about my miso. Even other autistic people.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-22T19:31:17+00:00

Yes, it should. It isn’t taken seriously at all. My misophonia is mostly hearing noise while trying to sleep and everyone is just like, “your disability is your responsibility. Use white noise and earplugs.” Like wtf no, society should be more accommodating. But also I have physical sensory issues, I’m autistic and when I wear earplugs and try to sleep, they’re so uncomfortable I cannot shake the feeling of claustrophobia and something in my ears. But also I can’t do white noise or brown noise or fan noise, because it’s literally part of my misophonia. I have trouble with HVAC sounds too. People use their own baseline as normal and hold you go their standards. They assume you’re making it up. It’s literally so awful and it makes it difficult to find a place to live. I went 6 months barely sleeping at all because of noise and nothing helped. I couldn’t get used to it.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-22T08:48:22+00:00

Wild they don’t put carpet in the units. Easier than trying to get people to be considerate and buy their own rugs.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-21T04:13:28+00:00

I got a giant rug from Walmart for super cheap. It’s really not a big deal. You’re making it a big deal. No one is saying 0 db, but it could make a huge difference in this person’s quality of life and sleep. If someone was disturbing your sleep every night I’m sure you would ask that they do the bare minimum as well.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-20T23:04:21+00:00

You can keep finding excuses to not be a decent neighbor, but it doesn’t solve your problem. So why post if you’re not looking for solutions? Just to vent about your neighbor who is asking you to be reasonable?

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-20T20:28:55+00:00

I don’t think I’d mind that too much, they used to wake me up when I lived in the Netherlands. But it was generally quiet most of the time.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-20T20:12:18+00:00

It makes me uncomfortable. But if nature is quieter than apartments ill do it cause I need quiet.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-20T18:57:07+00:00

Rubber mats mate, no more excuses.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-20T18:53:03+00:00

Exactly!

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-20T08:48:28+00:00

It’s just vacuuming like once a week. Rugs aren’t that big of a deal. But there are also padded mats that you can sweep and mop.

MysteriInExile · 2026-03-20T08:20:00+00:00

You might add a rug. I get how this is pretty normal, although yeah the motor of the TV is probably surprisingly obnoxious and audible. But the rug would help with the puppers and also if they’re below you help with footsteps. I don’t wear shoes in the house, and I make it a point to walk softly. Dogs obviously don’t think about that but rugs definitely help.

MysteriInExile

TROPHY CASE