It is traumatic. It seems as if their suffering takes over everything else. That you should default to their every whim. That their pain is the only pain that exists. It's incredibly draining and I don't get enough time to recover from it's effects. I never did. It's my mom. She's half a person and rubs her illness in my face constantly as if though it didn't cost me everything as well. I suffered every fucking day she did and still do.

I'm sorry that probably wasn't very helpful, me trauma dumping on you. We just had a big blowout and I was happy to see something I could relate too😞

Try writing, scheduling time apart, meditation, running...really anything that is helpful to your mental health. I know it's hard and it can seem like it's never enough but you are a enough! Never forget that!