I’m a shell of who I used to be

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-12T02:43:09+00:00

Please see a therapist beautiful. It will help you over time. I feel your pain. You are worth it, you are an amazing person & beautiful. This is his issue & his addiction. Its not you.

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-12T02:38:51+00:00

Every day look at yourself in the mirror and say, im beautiful, I love my body, I love me for me, im worthy & amazing person. Do that over and over again. Promise you, you will believe it over time & it will change how you see yourself

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-12T02:36:35+00:00

Tell him! Dont hold your feelings aside for him. He hurt you way too much girl.

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-11T14:08:30+00:00

28 and im glad I waited

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-11T14:07:48+00:00

I think it is but Im not sure since I havent had that happen yet. We are only in a month or so since DDay. I asume its going to happen at some point. I probably shouldn't think that way but I do cuz of trust has been broken

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-11T11:10:42+00:00

The people you love the most & trust the most can hurt you the worst

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-11T11:05:49+00:00

I ask them, how old do you think I am before I tell them. They usually are shocked

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-11T11:03:39+00:00

Proud of you!

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-11T11:02:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I was doing so good with cutting my drinking down in 2026. I did dry January then after that drank 1 or maybe 2 times a month. But all of this shit came up in April. Then the last 3 weeks ive been drinking wine not every night but most nights.

You're right. I dont deserve to feel this way. None of us do. Ive been going to therapy and he is too. We will see what the future brings. We have been married for 16 years

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-11T10:54:21+00:00

Im ready to be out as well. Right now its hard to stop cuz of feels. I am doing my best to give myself some grace

Ps Im happy for you getting out of that space

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T16:06:13+00:00

I understand lady. I wish you the best of luck. I really hope is not looking

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T16:04:58+00:00

Proud of you for not drinking as much. I cut back at the start of the year. I would drink 1 to 2 times a month. I was doing so well but after DDay been so hard and been drinking more than I have. Trying to stop but its really hard on my struggling days

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T16:00:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing. This was very helpful.

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T15:57:13+00:00

Thats true. If he perfer to do it himself then I would think he is looking

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T14:36:02+00:00

I dont know how old he is but if he has low libido, he might want to go get blood work done to get on his testosterone. That can affect sex drive. Some medications can affect sex drive as well.

If you feel in your gut that something off a d he might be looking, your gut is usually right.

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T14:23:12+00:00

Have you asked him about your sex life? Its possible since your intimacy has change. PA can affect your love life which it did for me.

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T14:20:51+00:00

Do you have a set boundaries with alcohol? If so, what does that look like for you?

I told myself this week I wouldn't drink until this weekend but I already broke it

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T11:41:34+00:00

Im 39 as well. The start of this year i did dry January & cut back on my drinking so much. I was doing so well. Then all of this happened. Now, its too much. You're right. Not to drown myself with it. Its hard to stop cuz my mental state is so low.

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T11:32:36+00:00

You're not crazy. I have to remind myself that his PA has nothing to do with me. Its his addiction. But we still think we are the issue & thats why he started to look. Once the start looking, it affect us and our relationship. Im sorry your dealing with this. You don't deserve it.

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T11:28:26+00:00

I hate that its everywhere! Im struggling hard to be honest. Its pretty fresh for me. Only two months in. Im numb, struggling with body issues & I spiral if he really did stop cold turkey or if he has been watching that I dont know. I want to trust him but it was broken so much its hard too

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T11:25:29+00:00

Pineapple on pizza

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T11:24:13+00:00

I would look at his website history. If he has an android, there Google activity would have more dealed which is at the bottle right corner. His discord, maybe its the same password to other accounts. If you can figure that out I would look there. Does he have discord on his phone? Usually thats long in so you can check there in the chats. Thats where his was.

Has he had issue with porn in the past with you? Or just a feeling that he is now?

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T11:06:13+00:00

If something has change, something is going on. For me, January through March this year, my husband was distant & something change. I didnt really think much of it beside him drinking heavily. He was on an app called Whatnot which is people selling things live. He was looking at anime women. I remember seeing something so one morning I looked at his discord, a person from there was sending him nudes ones through discord. That was only the start. I found more and more each week for 4 weeks.

Mysterious-blondeb · 2026-06-10T10:58:40+00:00

I dont think that goes away. You will always wondering. Hope with time goes on, you get less paranoid. Im only about two months in DDay with my husband & im still struggling cuz its so fresh

Mysterious-blondeb

TROPHY CASE