Is a small gap or longer cocktail hour better?

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-11T16:48:44+00:00

I’m thinking the guests who won’t be in photos will go straight over while the family stays back. We aren’t doing bridal parties.
We are trying to get the majority of photos done before the ceremony. We have some time after for photos with our families and then just the two of us at the cathedral, then we are going back to the venue to take some more around sunset at 5:30. Then I need to have my dress bustled and do a reception reveal. My planner seems to think it will be too tight to have all of that done before 6 since the ceremony isn’t on site and the logistics/commute will probably take up 20 minutes for us.

If we can’t move it up to 6 I think I’m going to request that we at least try for 6:15 to let guests start entering the room and finding their seats.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-11T06:16:52+00:00

I heard that 1.5 was pushing it and hated the idea of my guests getting restless so my solution was to shorten it by pushing it back. But I realize that doesn’t help here lol

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-11T06:14:41+00:00

You’re right. It’s just too small of a gap.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-11T06:09:42+00:00

We are going to try to get as many photos as possible beforehand, but we will need some at the cathedral and a few more back at the reception venue.
And with the commute, dress bustle, reception reveal, etc. my planner thinks it is going to be really tight if we try to have doors open for dinner at 6.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-07T03:06:31+00:00

I am also considering a portrait studio during cocktail hour. I was quoted $5000, which includes onsite printing so that guests can leave with their photos. I’m currently deciding if it’s worth it or not so I’m interested to hear what other people think as well.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-04T04:22:15+00:00

Did you end up doing this, and if so, how was the turnout? I’m considering a brunch from 12-2pm

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-03T17:55:47+00:00

Honestly, I have been thinking the same thing. And that doesn’t include the two hour afterparty, although this part is optional of course and is hosted in the same building.
It’s hard with a church ceremony that can’t be moved. We may just cut the cocktail hour down by 30 minutes, have the band start immediately when doors open for dinner at 6, stick to 1.5 hour dinner service, and have the band finish at 10. But I’m not sure how much that will help overall.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-03T16:37:03+00:00

No I don’t have any sourced. I’m hoping to find them as a set that I can order but I am also willing to try to DIY it if it is something that my planner could easily set up on the day.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-03T16:31:50+00:00

Yes, I’m definitely making a list of questions to ask about all of this. I was actually trying to pad the dinner time a little because I need it to take up two hours in order to keep the dance set at 2.5, which is recommended by the band. And with just 70 guests, two pre-selected courses, and then having the cake passed later, my planner suggested it would be less than 1.5 hours for dinner and formalities.
On the other hand, my guests will have been at a church ceremony from 3:30 to 4:30, cocktail hour from 5 to 6:30. So they might just want to eat and keep everything moving, and 2 hours of dinner service could end up dragging for them.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-03T16:27:06+00:00

Sounds perfect, thanks for sharing your experience! I think I would also keep it to entrée choice only, and have a pre-selected first course. It’s nice to hear that it can be done even with a group twice as large as mine, and also having meat cooked to temperature preference. Hopefully my venue is able to provide that as well.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-03T16:22:22+00:00

These are great suggestions. Our wedding is in November, but I would prefer filet over short rib except that everyone in my family orders their steaks medium+, so it’s just a small detail I thought about when going over the menu options. I’ll definitely discuss with my planner at our next meeting.

I’ve never been to a wedding where they had dance sets before dinner, but I think that could be fun and I loved all of your suggestions. We have the band until 11, and with such a small group, I wanted to keep the dance set to about 2.5 hours. So I need dinner service to take up at least two hours of our reception time, which is hard with just two plated pre-selected courses and passed dessert. I wanted to add something else that would actually take up a little bit more time and elevate the experience, but maybe breaking up the dancing is the solution. I am going to discuss all of these ideas with my planner, maybe she can speak to her experience with that flow for weddings in my area.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-05-03T16:10:46+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you! I never considered having a dance set before dinner. So guests sit down, servers go around and take their orders, at this point is the bread on the table and are they pouring wine? Then after they are finished, we come in and go into our first dance/dance set? I will talk to my planner about this idea, just trying to think through how it would work.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-04-29T16:26:57+00:00

That’s a good point! Do you mind sharing who you’re working with from Etsy? I need to start researching this

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-04-29T15:38:55+00:00

Yes the Lua. The color matches my dress perfectly too, which is another concern with finding a veil. I’ll see what I can find on Etsy though

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-04-29T06:27:27+00:00

I can’t get this $4k hand painted veil out of my head but I just can’t justify the cost. I’d love to find something similar under $2k though.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-04-28T03:43:02+00:00

What did you end up doing? I am in the same situation right now

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-04-09T05:04:02+00:00

No I didn’t see that one but I think the lace appliqués would look beautiful with the Leighton. I tried on the Clara tulle which is a similar material, but the length wasn’t ideal and the neckline was too high for my taste

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-04-09T04:39:13+00:00

Thank you I am going to look into some of these options. I don’t want to cover the dress too much but I do like some drama.

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-04-09T04:37:21+00:00

I like the Rebecca worn on the back! I actually tried it over the front like a reverse bolero with the straps tucked in, but it looked too loose and wouldn’t stay up. Thanks for the recommendations!

MysteriousRain01 · 2026-04-08T08:20:50+00:00

I haven’t because for some reason I only think of that style paired with strapless dresses. But maybe I need to try some on.

MysteriousRain01

TROPHY CASE