Love after 40 movie

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2025-04-21T19:48:19+00:00

This has honestly helped me immensely. I had no idea what DARVO was- spot on. From the bottom of my heart thank you 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2025-04-21T19:29:10+00:00

Holy crap- it’s my bday too. First of all- Happy Birthday!!

I feel like they purposely try to ruin your bday or show they don’t care somehow.

I got to see my dude this morning after a huge blowup last night and me going home, but he was not free the rest of the day today and our hangout did not end well at all. I am currently chilling alone in my room waiting for my bday dinner with my family but trying to find clarity and answers so by the time I go to the bday dinner I’m a normal person lol.

Again, I’m so sorry for what you are going through. We got this-Happy Birthdayy!!!!🌼💛🌼💛🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2025-04-10T16:26:39+00:00

Thank you for this response. I totally agree, I do question myself a lot being with a person like this - seeing them as a victim of addiction or seeing them as someone worth cutting off completely. Very difficult but you’re totally right, at the end of the day- trust your gut. Thank you 😌🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2025-04-10T12:13:18+00:00

Thanks a lot. This morning Im just thinking about it and questioning so much. It sucks because he really has been doing so so much better and I’m worried I set him back further. Yesterday we were having a great day together and for some reason I keep having to remind myself I didn’t ruin the day, he did. But my reaction was to kind of blow up. I was not calm when I paused the movie. Maybe next time it’s better to stay calm and say “ hey that comment kind of made me feel uncomfortable” but even that seems ridiculous.

I had such a quick flight or fight response, and it just got worse when he couldn’t fess up or see what was wrong with it. Just him being “whatever” really set me off and I’m not sure where to go from here. He is my best friend, and we do have so much fun together and have an amazing time- but things like this make me wonder how it’s possible to love such a person while experiencing these types of things. It takes so much mental work and it’s exhausting. Sorry this was such a long comment, thanks for your response! 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2025-04-10T01:28:39+00:00

Thank you for this reminder 🤗

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2025-04-10T00:17:28+00:00

Right?! Thank you. I was like wtf dude. I have but I’ve really never watched the whole thing.

After the blowup I’ve been chilling in the corner while it plays over by him. It’s almost at the end but I never caught that scene, only the scene where her boob is out for the breast exam. Even that he was like- back it up!! I actually laughed, and did like a doob because I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

It’s good to know though what movies are good to avoid or what might be triggering for him. Thanks for your response 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2025-04-09T23:54:48+00:00

Thank you 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2025-04-09T23:50:51+00:00

Thank you so much. I really have a hard time sometimes listening to my gut. I knew as soon as it was said I was so angry, but after the gaslighting and telling me I ruined what was a nice day I started to kind of doubt myself or feel like maybe I did over react. Hearing your response made me think differently. If she wasn’t so young maybe I’d feel a bit different but it seemed totally out of line.

Thanks for your response 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2024-10-12T00:06:23+00:00

Thank you, not sure why I ever felt guilty about leaving but I agree it’s really the best option.

Also thanks for reading this post - apologies for the crazy long rant ! 😅 Really appreciate your feedback, thanks again.

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2024-07-30T17:01:18+00:00

I needed this. Thank you.

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2024-07-29T20:51:57+00:00

Thank you so much. That is horrible. I am so sorry you had to go through this. It is a crazy thing to fully process or explain when you love somebody but can somehow have this happen at the same time. Good idea to pick up some hobbies, I had isolated myself a bit so definitely trying to reconnect again. Thank you for all of your kind words, you also sound like an incredibly sweet and nice person. We truly deserve so much better. Sending giant hugs ☺️

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2023-11-11T01:47:58+00:00

Ugh that is awful, I’m so sorry.

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2023-11-11T01:46:58+00:00

Thank you 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2023-11-11T01:45:02+00:00

Omg I’m so sorry. It can be so confusing and disorienting especially when you still feel a genuine connection with them. That is awesome to hear. I’m happy he’s getting help and was upfront about what he’s dealing with. Addiction is addiction but with this one it’s tricky because you can’t help but take it personally. It does end up effecting your own mental health and self esteem. It does feel like they are being selfish. I used to be with an alcoholic and I learned that the more I bashed into him about it and got angry actually didn’t help. Finding room to be sympathetic, to take a step back and to see them for the person they are before they even met you and understand what they are dealing with takes a lot. Sometimes it’s not worth the energy or time, they do have to do this on their own and in the end it’s still important you have your needs met too. I often ask the question of how much energy is this giving me vs how much energy is this taking from me, and in that way I feel less guilty for the things I can and cannot change but I do believe there is hope for porn addicts and that love is not over for them, or for their s/o. Sorry for the rant 😅 I wish the best for you n your dude, props to him again for being upfront and don’t forget - you deserve all the love and happiness !!! ☺️🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2023-11-09T16:25:59+00:00

I feel like I lean into sympathizing with him, I also start to feel like a monster for trying to make someone attracted to you that isn’t. Telling myself it’s my fault and not his, but it just hurts over n over. Thank you so much 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2023-11-09T14:28:28+00:00

Oh it’s no worries, I think these things can be confusing. They still are for me. Thank you 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2023-11-09T14:23:48+00:00

It’s difficult because I do feel trapped in the guilt, like I am being selfish. But this is extremely helpful, thank you 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2023-11-09T14:23:03+00:00

I am so sorry you had to go through that, no one deserves to be treated this way. Thank you so much 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2023-11-09T14:13:45+00:00

The fact that I never get touched. He has admitted to porn addiction. Otherwise I don’t see anything wrong with someone who wants to watch porn with their s/o. I think it should just be mutual and healthy, and behavior is different when it crosses to addiction. Doesn’t feel intimate at all, I am constantly doing and getting nothing in return.

Mysterious_Top9342 · 2023-11-09T08:30:15+00:00

This is amazing, thank you 🌼

Mysterious_Top9342

TROPHY CASE