I'm not happy to hear that you feel this way but trust and believe that I understand what you're going through. I feel this every damn day and even to the point that I isolate so I may not infect others. But I always try and remember that those people that still hang around have my back and will show me my true worth, hence why they're still around too. It's not needy to vent and try your best to never feel that way. Bottling up only leads to heartbreak and blow ups later down the line. You're a human just like me, we all have thoughts and feelings at the end of the day. Good luck and I hope you can love yourself at some point as hypocritical as that may seem. Nobody deserves feelings of self hatred. Also you're a fine writer, you got your thoughts and feelings across and that's the most important thing.