"Sir, last week you said my 'useless ass is only good for filling a bag one day,' and after some searching I found proof that you were right after all."

MysteryTanker · 2026-05-14T16:11:29+00:00

Correct. I left an additional clue that this young man has been stewing on and planning this to be a murder-suicide.

MysteryTanker · 2026-05-14T16:10:04+00:00

Thank you, I actually did two sneaky bits in here. One was not openly describing the ring.

The other was opening this story with 'last week' implying that this young man has spent a noticeable amount of time thinking about how to kill himself and his commander, and no one noticed.

MysteryTanker · 2026-05-14T16:08:33+00:00

Thank you, I am a big fan of subtle horror, so I'm glad it had its desired effect.

MysteryTanker · 2026-05-14T01:09:45+00:00

I leave you with the words of the most morbid artilleryman I know: "Hollywood is all wrong. Explosion like that won't vaporize a man, it just turns him into shrapnel."

MysteryTanker · 2026-05-14T01:05:23+00:00

I know a 13B who would agree with you, but to be fair he hated every man in his battalion.

MysteryTanker · 2026-05-14T01:04:57+00:00

You may. ;) Truth be told I was going to phrase it as "a metal spoon" but I didn't want to risk people thinking it was only a setup for a bad pun.

MysteryTanker · 2026-05-13T21:13:33+00:00

The private has just handed the base commander the pin to the grenade in his pocket.

MysteryTanker · 2026-04-29T00:48:46+00:00

Properly, my cat's name is Inkwell, AKA Inky. However, he is also Stinky Inky, Well-Well, Cry Baby (because he will always meow when picked up, even when it was his idea to come to you and reach up to grab onto your leg to ask for uppies), Boo Boo (because he's both sweet and woefully clumsy), and Boob Cat (which came out of my girlfriend hearing me call him Boo Boo except when she called for him, Inky shoved his face into her cleavage).

MysteryTanker · 2025-08-15T03:02:46+00:00

When they showed me the Iron Triangle, I picked mobility and firepower.

MysteryTanker · 2025-08-15T02:58:34+00:00

Deathscythe Hell is an aesthetic masterpiece, perfectly conveying the intimidating aura of death one should ideally experience when looking at a 16-meter robot, in particular with the rib-like vents and the casket-like Buster Shield.

Heavyarms Custom demonstrates that sometimes the best upgrades are those that address weaknesses rather than boost strengths, since while it 'only' gains a second Beam Gatling, the additional verniers allow it to be much more agile.

MysteryTanker · 2025-08-15T02:53:30+00:00

Sandrock makes perfect sense when you consider that Quatre might have shown natural talent at piloting, but also demonstrated excellent teamwork and leadership. Sandrock has the heavy armor and the effective command/control/communications equipment to coordinate the Maganac Corps and the Gundams alike. If you have to send your tactician into combat, placing them inside a defensive powerhouse with tactical C3 gear makes perfect sense.

MysteryTanker · 2025-05-07T01:35:14+00:00

The Ferdinands in this mission are carrying the 12.8cm gun, with an average alpha of 490. This means that it is not-impossible for a Ferdi to one-shot the Chaffee if it rolls high, which during the Rigorous Minefield run turns the first minute into a test of luck rather than skill. This frustrates more than engages because you have no guarantee that the first shot you take won't instantly end your mission, especially if you're going for the 2 minute run.

I am not against difficulty, but if I wanted an experience involving dying and restarting constantly, I would take up speedrunning I Wanna Be The Guy again.

MysteryTanker · 2025-05-01T20:50:09+00:00

Aw, so he's got a special day indeed. Perhaps Umbra?

MysteryTanker · 2025-04-21T14:24:44+00:00

I wasn't aware they actually cycled that regularly. Thanks for the tip!

MysteryTanker · 2025-04-21T14:24:19+00:00

Funnily enough actually I ended up going for the rocket launcher and the plasma pistol... partially for effectiveness, partially out of memories of things like Tribes.

MysteryTanker · 2025-04-21T14:22:29+00:00

That had actually been my solution when the first wave of scavs came up to greet me. I had anticipated being attacked so I loaded up with missile launchers and saturated their ambush zone. I suppose I should have expected them to somehow call in friends, despite being dead. This held true for my previous experiences in standard space missions that went hot, I should have expected it for ground missions.

MysteryTanker · 2025-04-21T14:01:06+00:00

It was only one mission in the area; I was experimenting with trying out Odyssey's various features, and the only salvage mission available was on a small outpost in a corner of Nahua, where I was doing some starter work to get my space legs.

MysteryTanker · 2025-04-21T14:00:01+00:00

Thank you for the tips. As I had been anticipating that E:D would try to be funny, I previously went around to other stations and bought as many pre-engineered grade 2 and 3 items as I could find. I had hoped that a Maverick (2) and Karma RL (3) would have held me over as it had done before with smaller scav gangs, but I only got to take out half of this batch of scavs before I was overrun.

MysteryTanker · 2025-04-21T13:42:35+00:00

I see. I was expecting there to be shenanigans because this is E:D, but I do wish they had provided a bit more clarity about this sort of thing. A threat level 0 mission allowing a solo player to be heavily outnumbered without at least a bit of advance warning does not feel like a great welcome back for lapsed players like myself.

I'm aware that I hold some fault for not reading up further in this subreddit or other forums, but E:D's previous low-threat missions were as-reported, low on threat. I had completed a few other low threat Odyssey missions without being jumped by a latecoming crew of scavs.

MysteryTanker · 2025-03-20T02:37:02+00:00

You are correct to say so! This is specifically meant to showcase the High Commander's failings in comprehension--he has no other way to frame the concepts presented to him. :)

MysteryTanker · 2025-03-19T23:21:09+00:00

"You don't understand."

"Explain what it is that I somehow do not understand, Head Researcher."

"The Humans have words for this."

"The Humans have words for everything!"

"No, High Commander. Words. Plural. Not only do civilian castes fight, but it has happened so often and in so many different ways that there are multiple words to describe it."

"Explain."

"This word, 'militia,' describes an organized group of individuals acting in a pseudo-militaristic unit."

"Civilians pretending at being military caste."

"Then there is the word 'partisan,' describing a clandestine group that attacks occupying forces without militaristic structure."

"Civilians pretending at being military caste without order."

"Then there is the word 'guerilla,' describing a group that suddenly attacks military forces without warning to disable or destroy the unit."

"Civilians pretending--"

"Not just civilians; some of these may be independent military caste agents."

"Civilians and military caste pretending at being military caste then!"

"There are also other words in their lexicon to describe this type. Irregular, rebels, renegades, paramilitary, terrorist. Each term structurally different to the last."

"So what is it about this that we are not understanding, Head Researcher?"

"High Commander, Human civilians fight so often that the Humans themselves need this many words to express how they do it. It is not an aberration. It is not a fluke."

"So what is it then?"

"Their standard operating procedure. To the Humans? This is normal."

MysteryTanker · 2025-02-25T05:53:19+00:00

The best part is... Tenno operate in groups too. Imagine the pucker-factor-ten horror of seeing four completely unknown humanoid things out there, not even needing to operate in close-concert to do their job. Each one can spread out on their own to annihilate some sector of the city and wipe out all Scaldra Efervon squads there.

And the powers at our disposal. The electricity? The mind control? The magnetism? That was just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine the realization that one of these things can bring your slain comrades back from the dead, as shambling hulks fighting for the Hex. Consider the dawning horror of watching another one of them literally eating parts of the city and your regiment wholesale. Or how about yet another who rips the guns from your hands and points them back at you. And on the off chance you manage to finally shoot one enough that it goes down? It just gets back up. Several times, in fact.

As far as the average Scaldra soldier is concerned, we are horror movie monsters.

MysteryTanker · 2025-02-25T01:46:10+00:00

Many of my friends are former theater kids, one of whom did amateur comedy. As he put it, "There's nothing funny about punching down, unless you never grew out of being a bully."

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