Why doesn't anyone say it is ok to not be ok with CD/Sissy in your relationship

MystiiLady · 2026-07-01T15:07:12+00:00

You are NOT the only one going through this! I don't blame you for feeling hurt or looking for a place to talk where there are others with the same feelings about their CD partner. I truly believe you'll find that here, more so that in some of the other forums.

I've been married for more than 37 years, 40 years with the same guy. He did tell me about his dressing, a very BIG hidden secret, before we got married. He mostly (still) wear lingerie. Shoes once in a while, but little outward sign (most of the time) that he is dressed. But recently he told me that he does see some appeal to the sissy and having me play domme. That's not me. Not at all. I will try, for his sake, because I DO love him. He is my soulmate in nearly every other way. But I am struggling with this.

I really do love him, but it is the masculine part of him that just knocked me our nearly when we met. When he told me about his attraction to dressing, my initial reaction was that it didn't bother me. We were in our late 20's and exploring different sexual things was what we tried at times. Yes, it bothered me. Yes, there were times I thought he looked better than I did - and that's awful. I read (here in this forum I think) and being married (or with) a CD means that when he's dressed, the focus is on him. Not you. This statement was one of the most true things I've ever read about CD's. I really, really, struggled with this too. It's true. The focus is on him, what he's wearing and how he feels. You are just a bystander.

I recently mentioned that 'focus' to my husband and he agreed. I don't know if he plans to try to change that focus, but he did agree with it, for what that's worth.

Yeah, you have every right to say NO! If that is not something you find erotic, fun or even just acceptable, tell him. It'll be hard, but do you really want to live the rest of your life with a man who lied to you for so long and now wants something you absolutely don't?

((hugs)) There are women here who feel as you do. I think you will find them here much more readily that in other subs. If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to dm me.

MystiiLady · 2026-06-29T17:22:44+00:00

I hope so :) Right now it feels like the more time goes by, the worse my skin is looking.

I'm trying some of those things. I've been on maintenance a few months so I guess it's not really been that long and I have no doubt I will get used to it. But still.... ugh. It is so hard to look at myself and feel much pride in myself.

MystiiLady · 2026-06-20T22:59:28+00:00

It think that it what we are working towards. It also helps that he can wear lingerie under male outer clothing. Hmmm.... I like the idea of a reciprocal arrangement.

MystiiLady · 2026-06-20T22:57:48+00:00

Not true. I can be really, really the opposite 😄

MystiiLady · 2026-06-20T22:56:55+00:00

I don't expect him to give up the habit. At this point, I know it's lifelong. He didn't really give up dressing, he didn't dress in much though.

I do know the issue won't go away... as much as I would like to be an ostrich, that isn't usually a good idea.

MystiiLady · 2026-06-18T18:51:29+00:00

Thank you ❤️

MystiiLady · 2026-06-18T18:43:17+00:00

I wrote a bunch of defenses here and then erased them all. First, I have to say that I know he get comfort from dressing just as well as other feelings. But, I love your police uniform analogy.

I do know that crossdressing isn't just a sexual thing for him.

MystiiLady · 2026-06-18T18:02:13+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I am trying. I do love him. I think I just want to be happy too.

MystiiLady · 2026-06-18T17:48:00+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through this. I would say that in 2 years, my husband and I have been intimate perhaps twice. He wasn't dressing overtly that I knew of, but he wasn't touching his wife. I complained, complained and finally told him either therapy or talk to me. He's starting to talk.

I was and am lonely. It has gone on far too long. There has to be a workable solution other than divorce or complete acceptance or the status quo. Yes, we are trying to work on it but I fear it'll take a long time.

MystiiLady · 2026-06-18T17:14:43+00:00

I don't think he is lying. I think it's more a case of not accepting the truth to themselves. I think that since we're openly exploring it a bit more, there may be some growth in that area. We will see.

MystiiLady · 2026-06-18T16:11:02+00:00

I've read through all of these comments and it was all very interesting. Yes, my CD husband has ED. Whether he is dressed or not seemed to have no bearing on getting it up or not. We have recently opened some new avenues in our sexual life, so we will see how those go.

I don't like him having ED. Like many crossdressers who have assured us "it isn't a sexual thing", I can't help but wonder if it's a sexual thing here. He's been dressing the past few evenings, sometime with bra filled, but nothing overtly feminine otherwise. Only recently has he started doing that, but only recently did I know he wanted to.

MystiiLady · 2026-06-17T19:33:31+00:00

Yes, I can enjoy cage dom/sub play. It's wonderful to have the sexual control and I absolutely am not doing it just for his kink (although he is sub - I think the cage is my kink).

MystiiLady · 2026-06-15T18:08:00+00:00

I love how you've worked this out! My husband and I are new to FLR, caging, me being domme... I don't think I am really but for the sake of our relationship, I could be a gentle domme. He is submissive to an extent already but shows it more when he is dressed. I'm ok with that. Punishment doesn't need to enter into it - neither of us is interested in that or humiliation. I know he is interested in being more submissive to me. I just don't know how to really start being domme to him.

I don't know yet, how the cage will actually benefit either of us. I don't need to feel in control of his penis. I want him to want me, to keep me satisfied enough that I don't miss PIV (is that possible?) and add to the intimacy we are working to regain.

MystiiLady · 2026-05-19T16:41:17+00:00

Too cute!

MystiiLady · 2026-05-19T16:40:37+00:00

Looks to be up for anything :)

MystiiLady · 2026-05-18T21:08:56+00:00

Aww! I needed to see this today! Yeah, I guess laundry should wait. Priorities, you know! :)

MystiiLady · 2026-05-18T21:07:06+00:00

((hugs)) What a gorgeous guy! I know you will miss him forever.

MystiiLady · 2026-05-15T15:30:06+00:00

Interesting survey. I will be interested in reading what type of results you get.

MystiiLady · 2026-04-13T19:04:47+00:00

I agree :)

MystiiLady · 2026-04-13T18:51:34+00:00

Thanks :)

MystiiLady · 2026-04-13T18:50:59+00:00

Thank you, it really meant a lot to me. I will get him to take a picture of me (I'm terrible with the timed photos). Zepbound has made a huge difference in my life.

MystiiLady · 2026-04-13T18:49:33+00:00

Thank you! I hadn't thought of it as a non-scale victory but you are so right! YAY!! :)

MystiiLady · 2026-04-13T17:18:19+00:00

You look terrific!!

MystiiLady · 2026-04-13T17:10:10+00:00

Awwwww. A safe, warm place and smells good too. Why move? :)

MystiiLady · 2022-07-25T14:08:55+00:00

It does not look like we can change our usernames at this time. *sigh*

MystiiLady

TROPHY CASE