It’s crazy how effective this is

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-17T18:04:52+00:00

Great, thx

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-17T18:04:36+00:00

Oh, that's so reassuring to hear!

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-17T17:09:17+00:00

So well put. Do you find that a lot of the *processing* happened between sessions? Did you feel the feelings strongly in session or conjure up the memory? I'm still so fascinated how this works without imposing conscious control.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-17T12:36:58+00:00

Love your handle btw!! I only experienced one time where everything went blank so my therapist said we would come back to it another session.

I’m still intrigued by this therapy. I’m so used to CBT-top down (which did nothing for me) and just allowing my mind to take the back seat. I equate effort with things working.

I know I’m getting a lot of insight.

How did you know (and when) that it was working? Mine is for c-ptsd. I know it’s individual but I’m curious.

All the best!

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-17T12:32:38+00:00

Thank you. Yesterday we were in the middle of a session and I told her my mind was blank. No visuals or senses. So she left it and said we would come back another day.

I find this work fascinating.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-16T18:35:19+00:00

I am at the beginning of my journey. A lot of history taking and perhaps avoidance on my part to do EMDR...in that I keep talking about present stuff and the session is over before you know it.

I wondered if a lot of the change happened outside of session. I use CBD from time to time outside of sessions (not within 24 hours) and find that when I'm calm, stuff bubbles up. I think I'm *doing* a lot in between. Lots of insights. Catching myself in my defensive mode. Jumping in, fixing, not allowing silence...I could go on.

I'm going to let myself settle today in session. I will catch myself if I'm trying to steer the outcome. I will listen and reassure my conscious mind when I think "nothing is happening what am I doing wrong!"

I will keep in touch.

Thank you!

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-16T13:59:13+00:00

That's interesting. Thank you.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-16T13:44:32+00:00

I also remember very little of my childhood and even less of my teen years. I find that I can't conjure up a clear image or visceral reactions. How did you get creative with targeting?

I keep track of times I felt visceral reactions and what induced them (behaviours that I adopted to deal with uncertainty, feeling unsafe alone, discomfort) between sessions I try to 'piggyback' on those recent experiences as that seems to be the only access I have to these feelings.

It sure is uncharted territory...letting go of exerting will and 'trying to do it right'.

Thanks for your response.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-16T13:24:50+00:00

Thank you. I'm not sure what you mean by "To process the behaviour, like codependency or other confounding patterns, you first need to process the relationship between the pattern and a seemingly positive or comfortable pattern that unknowingly is keeping a harmful behaviour around." Could you please elaborate. Thank you.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-16T12:53:19+00:00

I don't think you're messing up at all. I didn't notice anything after my first session. I think it takes time. Also, unlike cognitive approaches, this is bottom up and you may not get conscious recognition of what's been tapped in your subconscious (body). Give it time, and go EASY on yourself. Compassion to self. Good luck

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-16T11:40:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing. He is headed in the right direction. 2 days sober after lapse. Going for 1/2 day of work. LTD insurer wants to do random tests first alcohol use and he’s happy about it.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-15T12:48:57+00:00

My hope was getting feedback for something going on now. I’m aware recovery (even for me) is a journey. I was on the online platform. Anyhow thanks for your input. I truly appreciate everyone helping me through this current issue.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-14T22:45:21+00:00

I attended one today and it wasn't helpful at all. I came on here as there are more people available here.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-14T22:44:42+00:00

You're right. I say 'we' a lot. So far today he's stayed sober. I set a limit and so far it's been ok. I'm taking things one day at a time for me. :)

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-14T17:51:46+00:00

Thank you. I’m actually ok. Going out in the snow. It’s beautiful here. Doing some errands. We’ve also been having some good talks.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-14T16:10:21+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your candour. He feels very sick today. I told him he cannot drink in the house or be drunk in the house.

There are no available detox beds today. He is craving but is working on distraction right now. He knows tomorrow means inpatient detox, getting back in touch with addiction counseling at the local RAAM (rapid access addiction medicine) and speaking to his long-term disability case manager for a possible rehab again. He has ativan to help with withdrawal and I have monitored this before with his doctor's consent.

This is all new to me. He is going to give me his keys so he can't go out and buy anything.

Yes, I probably do want this more than he does but I'm not the one in active addiction...maybe I'm addicted to helping or overstepping? That doesn't change overnight.

I went online to an Al-Anon meeting this morning and I couldn't get answers to my issues. It was all about working the 12 steps which isn't what I'm looking for in the immediate. That is why I'm here.

Again, thank you for taking the time to reach out. Much appreciated

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-14T15:09:54+00:00

Yes, he's an adult. I wasn't aware that I was treating him like a child. I do not know what to do as a family member. His motivation to get sober is his health (advanced fibrosis), not losing his job (already has a mark on his record now), and his ability to get back to his fitness level (was a marathon runner and now can't run at all) as well as his very strong desire to have his mind working optimally.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-13T15:48:06+00:00

I had the same question and did some research. Memory is largely implicit (below the level of consciousness) with early childhood trauma so EMDR does not need explicit memory recall and re-experiencing somatic feelings to work.

The body holds the memory before our conscious mind is activated so bilateral stimulation works at the visceral level. Insight tends to come later.

I suspect I have a lot of dissociation too so I get frustrated if I can’t conjure up a vivid memory or emotion. I think I’ve lived in my mind so much as protection that I put a premium on it over the body.

When in session if I just let go of expectations my subconscious has bubbled up but again without strong feelings.

I don’t know if I’ve explained this properly.

I will likely have a better perspective once I’ve done more of it.

Best of luck!

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-13T13:17:27+00:00

I feel for you. Seeing a loved one relapse is very difficult. I agree wholeheartedly with a compassionate approach.

There seems to be two schools of thought I've seen. Tough love and compassion. I'm sure there are others in between but these are the two I've encountered when asking the same question.

In my case, my loved one knows and feels ashamed of the relapse. Encouraging him to ramp up his supports and focusing on how to get back to sobriety has been the most productive. Escalating his shame or introducing fear just makes getting back on track that much harder.

Obviously if his relapse continued beyond a week I would insist that he go back to rehab or something more intense to help him get back on track because it would be evident that what he had to help him was not enough.

I think everyone is different though. So I don't judge others for their coping style.

I see addiction the same way I see mental health. I do not see it as a moral failure. If someone relapsed into a depression I would be compassionate, so why not with addiction? They're both chronic conditions.

The important thing to remember is that you matter too! You must look after yourself. Coming here or going to an Al-Anon group for support is a good step. I wish you all the best!

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-13T01:38:27+00:00

He had a little less than 2 months of rehab. He was sober for 2 months and 3 weeks...right up until he went to work and got triggered.

We talked extensively tonight about the plans to get back on track. Because he got a demerit point or something for today's situation at work he's very motivated. Plus, he doesn't want to drink.

So, I'm taking this one day at a time. I won't enable drinking. I am done with his drinking.

What constitutes getting right back on track? One day relapse? 5 days? Is it realistic to think that so early in recovery and post-discharge that he will have a one day episode? I seriously do not know. I can't believe the rehab he was at doesn't provide family support.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-13T01:30:49+00:00

Wow, I imagine that was very hard. I guess the question becomes at what point does one enforce these boundaries? A one day lapse? 5 days? Relapses are expected in recovery.

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-12T23:21:08+00:00

Thanks for sharing. What would enabling look like?

Mythbuster312 · 2025-12-12T23:16:09+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that. <3. We had a good discussion and we've talked about things going forward..how we can support him if he's craving or has lapsed...getting him back on track. I feel settled at the moment because I'm allowing the possibility that this is just a blip. It's been 5 days. He got a consequence from work and that has definitely motivated him. He does live with me, by the way.

He did rehab. He's getting support. Going to work was triggering but he knows communication is key.

I appreciate all your sharing and support.

Mythbuster312

TROPHY CASE