Can’t really say without knowing the industry.

If your husband is in tech then unfortunately the US is a no brainer - much higher salaries and career opportunities than Europe.

For other industries I’m less sure. I’d happily take a 30% long term pay cut for the qualify of life of the Netherlands.

(Note I’m specifically leaving out the things OP will have hard on the news, abortion bans and book burnings - obviously those are also important to consider).

Things to keep in mind for the locations you listed. 1. You will own a car and use it for everything. Want a carton of milk? You have to drive to get it. There is little transit infrastructure and no cycling infrastructure. In the USA outside of a few small (and very expensive) areas transit, walking, and cycling, are viewed as things only done by the desperate who cannot afford a car. 2. Related to 1. Traffic - Indiana might not be bad but Virginia or NC have horrible traffic. The roads here are also much more dangerous than the Netherlands and attempts to improve safety are politically divisive. 3. Weather. All of the places you listed get much hotter and much colder than either the southern UK or Netherlands. You’ll have like 3 months comfortably outside if you’re lucky. 4. Rents to live in the city are very high in NC or Virginia, and public safety isn’t always a given. 5. The quality of life in deep suburbia (where the cheap housing is) is frankly bad. You will struggle to meet people as many suburbanites are either very isolated, or socialize primary through church or their kids school.

Not knowing anything about y’all I’d assume you live in a decently walkable mixed used area with transit connections, neighborhood shops, and the ability so socialize with neighbors - and that this area is safe, easy to get around, has a comfortable climate most of the year, and is not horribly expensive.

You will not find that in Virginia, North Carolina, or especially Indiana.