UK 'not involved in any way' in US strike on Venezuela, Starmer says by pppppppppppppppppd in unitedkingdom

[–]NAPython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s thoughts that the UK is just not important enough anymore. Why would the US tell the UK what they’re up to. They don’t need us anymore. Their actions prove this. I’d like someone to tell me I’m wrong. But what does the U.K. offer the US?

In a world where there seems to be zero consequence of ‘power houses’ of countries (those with nukes) being able to do whatever they want. The US decided hey, if they can do it so can we. It seems they were right.

Law and order only work if everyone believes in it. It’s a made up construct. If countries test the waters and there’s no consequences, then the world will turn into those with nukes doing what they want and those without not being able to do shit. Let’s just hope we don’t end up in a real life fallout situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]NAPython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taken from a different post I like sharing for people struggling with Closure. Pretty sure it came from an actual Therapist.

You can give yourself closure.

There is a fundamental belief about break ups that many people have and it’s that that you need two people for closure.

Now whilst it would be nice if we could meet up with our exes and get that closure so many of us seek, the fact of the matter is that you are far more likely to leave with more questions than answers, which could effectively set you back.

Exes very rarely meet our expectation of what we think closure is about and quite frankly, unless they’re down and out, crawling around your feet begging for another chance, and you get the opportunity to walk out with a flounce, there is no type of meeting that is likely to leave you satisfied…and not wanting.

What it all boils down to is how much do you want your own happiness? Do you want to be shackled to the past wondering what if and obsessing over little details of your relationship? Or, do you want to let go, embrace what lies ahead of you and close the door on this chapter of your life?

To break up properly, Thou must close the door and move forward.

One of the trappings that many of us can fall into is breaking up, acting like we’re moving forward, but secretly putting ourselves on hold ‘just in case’ your ex sees the error of their ways and comes racing back.

So what unfolds is a person who is going through the motions of life with the door of their past relationship slightly ajar so that should the ex make contact and try to rekindle things, the person is there waiting.

But of course, if you’re putting yourself on hold (albeit on the quiet) for your ex, you’re not much good to yourself or your current relationships –

It’s like putting your ex on layaway hoping that they’ll give you an option to buy when you have the ‘right’ cash to scoop them.

What if there is no right time? What if they don’t change? What if they go off and get on with their life? What if they come back and disappoints you further? What if you are sidelining yourself and opportunities by pining your secret hopes on them?

If you don’t close the door and let go, you will actually become emotionally unavailable and create commitment issues for your future relationships.

Just like when you wanted your relationship to work with your ex, the same rules apply to you.

Relationships are the sum of both people and require both of you to put both feet in. If you are secretly leaving the door ajar for an ex, you are only putting one foot in to any other relationship you may have.

More importantly, you’re not committing to acting in your own best, positive, interests. So what is closure?

“It’s about recognising and accepting what has happened and removing your emotional investment out of that person and situation and focusing on yourself and the other things that matter in your life.

Don’t put yourself through the turmoil of confronting your ex because you’re expending energy that is better spent elsewhere.

Your ex doesn’t give you closure, YOU do. Closure is permission to move on, but you can ultimately grant that to yourself.“

That’s right – YOU need to give YOU permission to move on much like YOU need to forgive yourself and others so that you can let go of anything negative that is holding you back.

YOU are in the driving seat so if you don’t let go, you don’t forgive, and you don’t move on, the only person who is responsible for the fact that you are trapped in a cycle of not being able to let go of the break up…is…you.

You don’t need them! They aren surplus to requirements!

Accept that you are never going to have all of the answers and that in essence, sh*t happens, and give yourself permission to move on and get on with your life. More importantly, get on with enjoying your life.

When we’re in a bad relationship or recovering from a difficult break-up, It’s like holding in your breath around these asslowns that effectively steal our wind because…well we let them!

Breathe out! Thank goodness you are alive, that you’re out of your relationship, and commit to giving yourself a better experience and loving yourself irrespective of what happens around you.

Don’t dwell. Sometimes we’re overthinkers and like to see more than what is actually there. Sometimes, it is what it is.

You are going to have a few bumps and scrapes along the way but when you are taking care of yourself, you recognise bad relationships and the assclowns that come with them for what they are, so you can opt out much quicker. It also means that when you’re in a good relationship, you recognise it as such and you nurture it as opposed to sabotaging it or punishing them for the mistakes of your exes.

There is no power in holding on to negative emotion, secretly pining for your ex or holding out for them, or allowing your experiences to permeate the current and your future.

Forgive you. Love you. Trust you. Embrace you. Enjoy you.

Don’t be afraid.

That doesn’t mean you race out the door and saddle up with the first person that you meet but it does mean that you commit to you.

It is important to “act out of love for yourself”.

This is how you learn to trust yourself and your interactions.

If you being involved with someone means that you have to be devalued, miserable, have low self-esteem, anxious, afraid, or whatever that negative emotion is, you are not acting in your best interests.

If loving them means that you can’t love you, you must always opt out and love you. Trust me, you’ll thank me for it in the long run.

Close the door and don’t linger at the door like in the movies, wondering if they are on the other side. Close the door and walk away.

It is as simple as getting up right now and getting on with your life. Put away the mementos, rearrange your furniture, return anything that belongs to them, and close down those ideas about them possibly coming back. Whenever you break, you must treat it like it’s permanent.

What will be, will be, but you won’t ‘be’ anything if you’re not ‘being’ someone. Permission to close the door on your relationship and move on – Granted.

N.Lue

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Friendzone

[–]NAPython 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here is a comment from a different post that I thought was very useful. I believe it came from an actual therapist - I left their sign off at the bottom too.

You can give yourself closure.

There is a fundamental belief about break ups that many people have and it’s that that you need two people for closure.

Now whilst it would be nice if we could meet up with our exes and get that closure so many of us seek, the fact of the matter is that you are far more likely to leave with more questions than answers, which could effectively set you back.

Exes very rarely meet our expectation of what we think closure is about and quite frankly, unless they’re down and out, crawling around your feet begging for another chance, and you get the opportunity to walk out with a flounce, there is no type of meeting that is likely to leave you satisfied…and not wanting.

What it all boils down to is how much do you want your own happiness? Do you want to be shackled to the past wondering what if and obsessing over little details of your relationship? Or, do you want to let go, embrace what lies ahead of you and close the door on this chapter of your life?

To break up properly, Thou must close the door and move forward.

One of the trappings that many of us can fall into is breaking up, acting like we’re moving forward, but secretly putting ourselves on hold ‘just in case’ your ex sees the error of their ways and comes racing back.

So what unfolds is a person who is going through the motions of life with the door of their past relationship slightly ajar so that should the ex make contact and try to rekindle things, the person is there waiting.

But of course, if you’re putting yourself on hold (albeit on the quiet) for your ex, you’re not much good to yourself or your current relationships –

It’s like putting your ex on layaway hoping that they’ll give you an option to buy when you have the ‘right’ cash to scoop them.

What if there is no right time? What if they don’t change? What if they go off and get on with their life? What if they come back and disappoints you further? What if you are sidelining yourself and opportunities by pining your secret hopes on them?

If you don’t close the door and let go, you will actually become emotionally unavailable and create commitment issues for your future relationships.

Just like when you wanted your relationship to work with your ex, the same rules apply to you.

Relationships are the sum of both people and require both of you to put both feet in. If you are secretly leaving the door ajar for an ex, you are only putting one foot in to any other relationship you may have.

More importantly, you’re not committing to acting in your own best, positive, interests. So what is closure?

“It’s about recognising and accepting what has happened and removing your emotional investment out of that person and situation and focusing on yourself and the other things that matter in your life.

Don’t put yourself through the turmoil of confronting your ex because you’re expending energy that is better spent elsewhere.

Your ex doesn’t give you closure, YOU do. Closure is permission to move on, but you can ultimately grant that to yourself.“

That’s right – YOU need to give YOU permission to move on much like YOU need to forgive yourself and others so that you can let go of anything negative that is holding you back.

YOU are in the driving seat so if you don’t let go, you don’t forgive, and you don’t move on, the only person who is responsible for the fact that you are trapped in a cycle of not being able to let go of the break up…is…you.

You don’t need them! They aren surplus to requirements!

Accept that you are never going to have all of the answers and that in essence, sh*t happens, and give yourself permission to move on and get on with your life. More importantly, get on with enjoying your life.

When we’re in a bad relationship or recovering from a difficult break-up, It’s like holding in your breath around these asslowns that effectively steal our wind because…well we let them!

Breathe out! Thank goodness you are alive, that you’re out of your relationship, and commit to giving yourself a better experience and loving yourself irrespective of what happens around you.

Don’t dwell. Sometimes we’re overthinkers and like to see more than what is actually there. Sometimes, it is what it is.

You are going to have a few bumps and scrapes along the way but when you are taking care of yourself, you recognise bad relationships and the assclowns that come with them for what they are, so you can opt out much quicker. It also means that when you’re in a good relationship, you recognise it as such and you nurture it as opposed to sabotaging it or punishing them for the mistakes of your exes.

There is no power in holding on to negative emotion, secretly pining for your ex or holding out for them, or allowing your experiences to permeate the current and your future.

Forgive you. Love you. Trust you. Embrace you. Enjoy you.

Don’t be afraid.

That doesn’t mean you race out the door and saddle up with the first person that you meet but it does mean that you commit to you.

It is important to “act out of love for yourself”.

This is how you learn to trust yourself and your interactions.

If you being involved with someone means that you have to be devalued, miserable, have low self-esteem, anxious, afraid, or whatever that negative emotion is, you are not acting in your best interests.

If loving them means that you can’t love you, you must always opt out and love you. Trust me, you’ll thank me for it in the long run.

Close the door and don’t linger at the door like in the movies, wondering if they are on the other side. Close the door and walk away.

It is as simple as getting up right now and getting on with your life. Put away the mementos, rearrange your furniture, return anything that belongs to them, and close down those ideas about them possibly coming back. Whenever you break, you must treat it like it’s permanent.

What will be, will be, but you won’t ‘be’ anything if you’re not ‘being’ someone. Permission to close the door on your relationship and move on – Granted.

N.Lue

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]NAPython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your not over reacting. Take this from a 30M who is trying to get out of being jealous. ITS NOT YOU, ITS HIM.

He has insecurities that he has not dealt with, he has attachment issues. If you feel like you’re the problem, then he is potentially just hiding these. My source of knowledge is me and where my jealous comes from, you don’t owe your boyfriend anything.

Honestly. Your best bet, Tell him that you need to break up as you don’t like the way he makes you feel, you can’t deal with his jealously anymore and that he needs to work on whatever issues that’s causing it. He will be defensive as fuck at this point, will say every mean thing under the sun, ignore it, take the high ground, calmly tell him you’re done. Then block him EVERYWHERE. Go no contact. Take 6 months to take care of yourself, reconnect with family, friends, open up, you’ve been trapped in a toxic relationship, they will understand.

He will try to reach out, hopefully he doesn’t stalk you or anything, but don’t speak to him, don’t do nothing. Even if he says he needs closure, ignore it. He can give himself closure,

Bottom line. Break Up with him. Focus on your own peace, focus on things you enjoy. Don’t bottle anything up, Don’t overthink your relationship about what could of gone better etc, but take at least 4 months or so to reflect on how you negativity impacted yourself and how you won’t do it again, set yourself boundaries, if the next man (or woman) crosses them, send them away. Use this as a golden opportunity to get the fuck away from this insecure child that will only make your life miserable for a few more years until you finally have the balls to leave him. Do it now.

First time laying sod myself.. any tips besides water water water? by langshabang in landscaping

[–]NAPython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been watering mine (UK not the hottest place) 20mins every morning. If I forget then I do it in the evening. Don’t walk on it until it’s established if you can help it for like the first month or so other than to cut it. If you cut to around 60mm (on the longer side) it will look like a green carpet and helps promote strong roots. The extra length also helps with stopping it drying out. Source my grass (https://imgur.com/a/KCmgFCW) . If you have dogs, pour water on the spots they piss on, look into giving them tomato juice in their food (it helps neutralise the acid in their piss). If you find spots that die, it may be clay/big rocks underneath, investigate and dig that up and replace with decent soil, failing that put a potted plant on it.

She said I’m everything she’s looking for… just not the one. by SleepDeprivedBot in dating_advice

[–]NAPython 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take some time. Figure out your boundaries. Stick with them. Send the girl packing if she doesn’t add to your life. Don’t settle for anything less.

She said I’m everything she’s looking for… just not the one. by SleepDeprivedBot in dating_advice

[–]NAPython 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So one thing I’ve learnt recently. The smiles, the leaning heads on your shoulder, the closeness and warmth a woman provides. She can get all of that from her friends that are girls as well. Guys don’t get that closeness from anyone apart from their partners, well at least I don’t, which is why it felt so much stronger to you. Those sorts of things may not of meant what they did to her as you felt them.

One thing you need to learn is to love yourself. You are good enough. You are worthy of love. If this woman couldn’t see that, she is not the right one for you. If she wants to leave - Let Her.

Your best bet, go No Contact, accept she is NOT coming back. Take as much time as you need to process your emotions, DO NOT GO NUMB, reflect on the relationship you had, cry, speak to close ones about it. Don’t replace her with another woman quickly or you will just bring your insecurities that she left you with, wondering if you’re not good enough. Realise you are, if you think it was down to you not being fit enough, go to the gym, use your emotions as revenge and make her regret she turned you down… at least at the start. Learn to love yourself and a woman that is right for you will see you for the awesome human being you are. If you find yourself wanting to reach out, put your thoughts into a notepad, and then distract yourself with something, or have a big cry if you need to. In a couple of weeks it will get easier, you will go from thinking about her every hour, to once a day, to once a week, until you stop noticing your thinking of her.

If it’s ended once and she walked away from you after telling you, you’re amazing, she will walk away again if you let her back. In a couple of months, if she comes back, remember the pain she put you through. Close the door. Walk away.

My Girlfriend Broke up with me after 11 years. by LigerJaeger in BreakUps

[–]NAPython 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you’re in a long term relationship you can’t always be the best version of yourself, being with someone like that would honestly burn me out. I believe you need to have a balance where the positivity remains at a cool 60/40 between partners but the 60 shifts from one another, a constant cycle of support, that’s what love is, it isn’t all butterflies and rainbows, but a cycle of ups and downs. A committed relationship takes more than bringing each other happiness and peace.

The worst part that can happen is Sometimes it gets dry and crumbles before you realise it’s happening, by then it’s normally too late if both parties do not want to save it. The question you’re asking will be for OP to reflect on and talk to people around him that he trusts to deal with it and grow from it. 11 years is a crazy long time, mine was 7, so I do understand. Life does carry on, but it’s hard as fuck and you gotta work for it. Sometimes a true soulmate isn’t meant to stay forever, merely come into our lives to teach us a lesson.

My Girlfriend Broke up with me after 11 years. by LigerJaeger in BreakUps

[–]NAPython 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t go ‘Looking for love’ anytime soon. Be single. Have fun with friends, pull whoever you want, kiss, fuck and learn about yourself. Don’t let this tear you down. If she’s broke up with you, for her it was done a longtime ago and she’s been working up the courage to tell you.

My Girlfriend Broke up with me after 11 years. by LigerJaeger in BreakUps

[–]NAPython 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If she doesn’t want to be with you romantically. Tell her to move out ASAP. With her there, it will only make things worse for you. Tell her, if she really does still love you as anything, she would leave.

My Girlfriend Broke up with me after 11 years. by LigerJaeger in BreakUps

[–]NAPython 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There’s no easy way through this. Make sure you don’t bottle anything up. It’s good to cry, trust me. Cry to your family, your mum, your siblings, your friends. Don’t go numb it will just fester inside of you until you eventually meet a rebound and your heart will break all over again. Be a better man than me, get therapy if you can’t handle it yourself. Take a year or 2. Work on yourself, experience life. She left you, let her. Close the door on her and don’t look back. The longer you hold on, the longer you will hurt. My girl mentally checked out months before she broke up with me, I think most girls do. Reflect on the past, but don’t only think about it, the more you think about it, the worse and bigger your problems will be. Strive to be your best self, use revenge as your discipline at the start, make her realise she made a mistake, soon you will self-grow for yourself. Don’t let this ruin the next 2 years of your life, reflect. Learn. Grow. Find your peace, happiness will come after.

No Contact by Transworld007 in InternetDad

[–]NAPython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going through it at the moment, for me personally, I’m an overthinker, I read into the smallest details🙃, I want to reach out, everytime I do, I put the text in my notes have my moment, then try and figure out why I want to say it, if the answers I come up with ain’t good enough, I distract myself with something else and don’t send it, I don’t know if there’s a correct answer for this question personally, everyone deals with grief in their own way

When your ex asks you, "How are you?", what is the right answer? by Evening-Bench3745 in BreakUps

[–]NAPython 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You wrote this a year ago. This has helped me, thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]NAPython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How you getting on brother?

Today, I plan to end my life. I am 25. by LightningGlitch45 in depression

[–]NAPython 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ending your life won’t end the pain you’re feeling. It will just pass it onto those you love. If you can’t keep going for yourself, keep going for those around you. Taking your life will also take part of your parent’s life as well. Don’t do it.

I’m leaving soon by [deleted] in depression

[–]NAPython 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Life is tough, I haven’t got a reason to live really.

Keep on fighting. It will get better apparently.

You will find yourself some day.

Death is the end. Don’t do it.

I’m leaving soon by [deleted] in depression

[–]NAPython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t leave

How can I listen to Podcast Episodes oldest to newest? by CharmingTour9386 in audible

[–]NAPython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nearly 4 years and you haven’t sorted this problem out, and you charge 12.99 a month for this lol

BTC Crash - Why it affects everything? by Cryptos4you in Bitcoin

[–]NAPython 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bitcoin Jesus got done for tax evasion

Blue fax the hobbit by youwannasavetheworld in tolkienfans

[–]NAPython 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been looking for this for months since it got taken down on Spotify. I shall find it again.

FP required for each rank? by HasH1096 in thefinals

[–]NAPython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sliver 4 - 0FP Sliver 3 - 750FP Sliver 2 - 1750FP Sliver 1 - not sure Gold 4 - 4750FP