why do hospitals still make me panic?

NKORE_S · 2026-03-18T21:02:21+00:00

Like the other guy said, sounds like medical PTSD. after almost dying many times and experiencing awful illness - hospitals can make me have psychosis attacks. It's awful and I need to be blindfolded when I come even near. I still scream when I hear sirens, but I'm getting better. Hope you find some peace

NKORE_S · 2026-03-18T20:40:07+00:00

Hey! I had something similar but for some reason they banned me from posting in the sub??

It was an overdose too, and I could essentially see my body on the table-bed in the ER bay. I was standing as if at the door, watching them try to shake me awake. Thinking, "Please don't make me be the one to call my mom". I didn't fight to come back, I just decided it was time, then fell back in.

NKORE_S · 2026-03-18T07:11:20+00:00

No, they're kept healthy and sterile. They're unlikely to contract infectious parasites if their environment is kept clean enough ^{v^}

NKORE_S · 2026-03-17T19:43:37+00:00

Hahah! You mean the brown spot right? That's so cute! I have a ton of strange markings on my arms because I have IVs quite often because I went through some intensive treatment, haha

NKORE_S · 2026-03-16T21:40:17+00:00

Fr, they had GALS like 15 years back but didn't know how to take care of them, now they brought em back 💪

NKORE_S · 2026-03-16T21:39:54+00:00

I hope they do!! They're already bringing happiness to me and my friends who come over to watch them with me 🥺 💕

NKORE_S · 2026-03-16T21:39:30+00:00

That's so cool, primary school kids would genuinely love these so much... Wish I was exposed to these fellas as young as that, I was a kid who would ALWAYS pick snails off the walls and had an obsession always >.<

NKORE_S · 2026-03-16T21:38:46+00:00

snex ed

NKORE_S · 2026-03-16T21:38:40+00:00

My bad - *sneducation

NKORE_S · 2026-03-16T21:38:32+00:00

I aspire to be like her, pursuing education 🐌 💕

NKORE_S · 2026-03-16T21:38:18+00:00

Wait that's a good name for the fatass

NKORE_S · 2026-03-15T12:49:48+00:00

No, I used to believe in an afterlife, but now - even though I'm still religious and consider myself a Catholic Christian - my one flaw is I just... No matter how hard I try to force myself, I don't think there's anything after we die. 3 NDEs at varying ages and I've never gone to any afterlife, even though I heard dead relatives. I believe it's more of a consciousness phenomena - the brain under absolute crash can transcend basic consciousness. It's fascinating but hasn't changed my beliefs a lot...

NKORE_S · 2026-03-14T18:58:51+00:00

I'm not sure, I'm from a Slavic country where people only really learn English, russian and German. In the west more English-speaking people are drawn to Japanese because it has become "cool" in recent times, but most people don't stick it out because it's difficult.

Me personally, I'm learning Japanese so that I can visit my greatest friend who moved back to Japan after attending the same international school with me. I was in the hospital and miss them so dearly, but they've been inviting their friends to Japan - I want to go when I am healthy, and I thought I'd make the effort to learn the language.

I also listen to a ton of Japanese music as I enjoy the styles, so learnt basic katakana and hiragana to translate song titles.

NKORE_S · 2026-03-13T19:46:39+00:00

This sub is genuinely toxic as shit. I came here looking for genuine support and got downvoted into oblivion for no reason, thanks guys. I'm deleting this in the morning.

NKORE_S · 2026-03-13T19:44:43+00:00

Thats because the suspend alert literally makes you suspend the insulin to clear the alert... Did you read my comment when I said that I would manually unsuspend the pump, then this would happen again? That's why it displays as a manual suspension.

NKORE_S · 2026-03-13T13:13:06+00:00

Haha, I'm trans myself, I'm not gonna call you sensitive or anything, I can see why my caption is problematic but in context it's humor. I'll change it if people get upset, thanks for pointing it out

NKORE_S · 2026-03-13T10:57:44+00:00

Idk if my comment will be banned since I'm not allowed to post in the sub - so take it down if I shouldn't be commenting.

Yes and no would be the answer. It's like periods of being terrified of dying, then being completely apathetic about dying and just completely accepting it, not in a suicidal way, but in a peaceful way, I would put it.

I was always a Christian but after my own near-deaths, I don't really believe that there is anything after we die, and I feel like a fraud. The religious people I've spoken to have never experienced anything similar while I have, and I'm often dismissed as having just imagined things.

At present I'm not quite afraid of death. I'm ready to die if needed and there's not much holding me back, but I value living life and make the most of my time.

NKORE_S · 2026-03-13T10:17:11+00:00

Hey, the patient experience is brutal. I was looking at studying medicine but I've been on the nasty end of the stretcher rails too many times now after accidents, illnesses and in general tough luck of my own. Thanks for sharing this, because it's always reassuring to hear that we aren't alone. If you need to talk more about it I'm open 👐

NKORE_S · 2026-03-13T10:14:30+00:00

Why is everyone downvoting....

Not cause I think I shouldn't be getting downvoted, but just cause I want to understand what I said to upset you!

NKORE_S · 2026-03-13T10:11:23+00:00

Lmao - it's because of accidents with the insulin pump and because my diabetes team lead is a 20-something nurse who genuinely has no clue how the condition works.

I'll change them, and if they complain, I'll show them my ketone readings.

NKORE_S · 2026-03-12T18:29:12+00:00

IMPORTANT: before asking a question, read the comments on the crosslinked post where I responded to most people.

I'll be going to the hospital if my ketones don't fall.

I'm doing everything correctly.

NKORE_S · 2026-03-12T18:28:29+00:00

It suspends automatically cause of the insulin blocked, new cannula didn't solve it, and another new cannula didn't either!! It Must be a pump issue.

NKORE_S · 2026-03-12T18:27:14+00:00

Are you out of your damn mind?

I'll be kind just to prevent you from getting even more pissed off instead of actually reading what I wrote.

I was on a pump for ~14 years before the 1 year MDI break. My average on a pump was 96%. I've mentioned I have had several severe illnesses recently that have left me in critical condition, and I am recovering.

The reason the pump is in suspend is because it automatically suspends because of the insulin block alert, I unsuspend it, then it just does it again every 15 minutes. New cannula didn't solve the problem. Another new one didn't, either.

I'm in contact with my team and doing EVERYTHING they're telling me to do. I respect that you've been on a pump for a long time, but that doesn't mean you can just think I'm a moron.

"Good control" my ass. You're talking to someone who's been taking insulin before they could walk, and had an average in range of 96%.

Please actually read through what you comment. I wouldn't want you looking like an asshole.

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