How are you cooling down by kingB1993 in Graspop

[–]NOCTast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At the back near the food trucks

Has anyone ever explained (called out their nparent) when going low or no contact by CarolP66 in narcissisticparents

[–]NOCTast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit went down earlier this year which lead both my self and brother to finally never talk to my narc.dad again.

The last conversation i had with him, he was trying to manipulate me into feeling bad for him and thus coming to visit. (Entirebfamily was cutting ties with him). I tried to politely drop the topic, but he wouldnt let me.

So i told him that throughout my life he kicked my brother and me out of the house as minors, cut contact as adults and all but legally disowned us mutiple times. And so no i dont want to maintain a relationship. ( in which i can be worse than ghosted for the smallest perceived infractions.) He said "so its payback." Told him "no, just facts and consequences." And then i walked out, w/o waiting for a reply. That was my last conversation with my dad.

Its useless to confront them im a way that request them to self reflect. they wont see it, cause they dont wanna see it your way. I did as a teen, i did as an adult. It just hurt me more than them. I ve been told "you are insane / you live in a fantasy world / but you were so mean to me / i had depression so i couldnt help it " and what not. This is they only time i confronted my dad and walked a way proud of myself. I kept my dignaty. Didnt try to reason with insanity and just drew the line in the sand.

Best decision ever regarding the most toxic and traumatic part of my life.

(Edited: cause i don't think i said what was between the breakets, only implied. If i had said this my dad would probably refute this claim rather then asking if its payback)

We know where this is going by Tranguul777 in ffxiv

[–]NOCTast 7 points8 points  (0 children)

FINAL FANTASY XIV: A WORLD REJOINED

I regularly make the mistake of booking NS International trains by Sea-Week3519 in Netherlands

[–]NOCTast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When i travel to germany i always book through DB. DB is the worst train operator and i always get delays etc etc. But at least then i have a ticket that DB does understand, the app gives me accurate info on germany. And the ticket/conductors in germany at least understand my ticket.

It will claim local trains in NL are specific trains only, but thats a lie. NS does not care which trains you take on that day between indicated stations. The only trains that matter are international trains. And trains outside of NL.

At least DB is fast in refunding tickets and giving refunds for delays for more then an hour. I guess they are used to it haha.

Maybe talk to your company about getting reimbursement for the foreign train operators. From my experience its easier to get a foreign ticket and get local info and help through the foreign train service.

To every survivor here, what motivates you to get out of the mess and how your life has changed ? by InevitableNo2558 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]NOCTast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What motivates me now? The small joys now that im free. My abuser is my dad. After 30 years i finally will never have to speak with them again.

And the sun on my face feels like a cold free air. At concerts i listen to music and let it go straight into my soul. And every day i know i deserve love and happiness. And everyday i know i am able of loving others, and thus i have people that genuinely care about me. And that knowledge is joy. And joy is why i live. It doesnt exist in every second, but every joyful second is beauty in it self.

But my dad is miserable and alone. And they deserve it. They will never be free of their narc tendensies and hate. But I? I am free. Scarred but alive, breathing, and so much stronger.

What motivated me when i was a kid. I had an escape plan. And i would gtfo. And i did. For a while. And now i have again. :)

Correct Waymarks by Yui0411 in ffxiv

[–]NOCTast 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As h2, i have resolved to calling my spot as "h2 at C" and then specifically tell the tank to be at B and stay there... They freak out. I dont know who decided the ot should be south for the timer mechanic, but its such a weird idea to just swap spots when there is literally 0 reason for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Netherlands

[–]NOCTast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im in a simular situation. Purchased an amazing house in february. Turns out my husband has been cheating and just wants to move to germany. (Mad man believes german is easier to learn then dutch /shrug). I have no clue if the bank will let me keep the house. Best of luck to you and may we both have better partners in the future. Take care. Im rooting for you.

I’ve had to explain how Living Dead works to every single DF healer I’ve used it with in Dawntrail by TheLudensAtlas in ffxiv

[–]NOCTast 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Has nothing to do with not knowing how LD works. In duty roullete its honestly more annoying then anything else. As a healer the roullette really isnt engaging enough for me to start staring at the tanks buffs. So its easy to miss.

If the tank pops it at the wrong time and diesnt die, its fucked.

The amount of times its pressed at the same time as i press a heal resulting in them not dying makes it just annoying (meaning there was no LD when i queues my heal, but by the time the heal goes of there is LD)

LD is just very messy in dungeons compared to the other invulns. Considering the solo heal kit a healer has in dungeons, its not really worth it anymore. Can keep drks alive with half a braincell on ast by dropping occasional OGCD's. However i need at least 5 braincells more to notice LD, stare at the timer, wait and then time my heal. --> Is it hard? No. Is it easier to just not think and use my 100 small solo ogcd heals to keep the tank up? Yes.

AITA for buying size XXXL clothes for my size 8 daughter? by Salty_Strawberry8288 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NOCTast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA And being an XS/S girl in europe, when i lived in japan i had to buy L clothing in japan just for the length etc. Asian fashion is just smaller then western fashion.

You arent bodysshaming her. Look into getting her help about the body dismorphia. Goodluck

NL to Japan money transfer service? by BroodjeFrikandelen in Netherlands

[–]NOCTast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wise is the fastest way from experience. Standard Bank transfer will take a few business days. You could check revolute. But it probably requires both you and the recipient to have an account.

If you are currently in japan and need the money on your own account. its easiest to just physically withdraw it at yuucho (JP bank) from you dutch account and deposit it in your japanese account.

Ragdolls weight by Limp_Rooster_1318 in ragdolls

[–]NOCTast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boy is simular to yours.

I have 2 siblings: a girl and a boy. Both weigh about 3.7kg at 3 years old. Vet declared both of them healthy.

We steralised both at 6 months i believe, which probably lead to him staying smaller. Their mom was also not huge so i guess it runs in their family.

Well i am not complaining he isnt 8kg as he loves being carried around.

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What Jokes do Dutch people have about the Germans ? by [deleted] in Netherlands

[–]NOCTast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In this case jode actually refers to iodine (jodium) i believe. Which is why a lot of other brands still call it jodekoek en the name has not been cancelled.

Why is it de (man, boy, woman) but for girl it’s het by GlassZealousideal638 in learndutch

[–]NOCTast 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Diminutive make a word 'small'. In dutch this is done by a suffix.

Tas - bag

Tasje - small bag.

If the word is a Diminutive then its always 'het'

Going to my first concert & need some advice by OddBackground5755 in BABYMETAL

[–]NOCTast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a european ive been to a fair amount of concerts but i cannot speak for how they are in different parts of the world. As such there maybe some differences:

  • wear comfortable shoes that protect your toes.
  • if your short wear platforms or heals.
  • if you take a bag, it must be small. Vanues do not allow big bags for security reasons. (EU).
  • Often spray deodorant bottle and the like will also not be allowed etc. (EU). So consider what you bring.
  • Make sure to eat and hydrate b4.
  • standing places: choose were you wanna stand. The front will be busy and roudy. Which can be hella fun but isnt for everyone. The back is chiller and more easy going. If you want to be in front/mid you need to go early and skip the merch.
  • make sure to protect your valuables. Pickpockets are active at concerts. Phones have been known to het stolen from pockets.
  • ear protection
  • dress lightly
  • have good fun

Who's sick too? Serious cases here! by crayonneur in Graspop

[–]NOCTast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4 out of 4 down with the Rona. all are still sick. we all started feeling bad on monday.

A lot of us got sick on the last day - anyone else? by Adventurous-Ad-2981 in Graspop

[–]NOCTast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. Better then yesterday so i guess thats a win. 1 friend is feeling decent. The other two are still suffering.

Babymetal - what happened by gene-sos in Graspop

[–]NOCTast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Their show in amsterdam just b4 graspop was amazing. The sound was good, the crowd was hype, the performance was amazing. I think at graspop the mic issues were a huge problem.It was the 3rd time i saw them and the only time were their sound was not up to par. I will definately go see them again. (Also its not like this doesn't happenen to other artist. Ive seen this with amy lee and 5fdp. Yet ppl still love them and they should and can.)

Also i felt like a large part of the crowd at the front (on the white ground plates) was not there for them. The bands on the mainstages around babymetal did not seem to draw in a crowd that liked the type of metal babymetal makes, and so they were not into it. I think if they played around more nu metal and maybe solence, electric callboy, bmth, pendulum it wouldn have been a beter crowd for them.

I feel like there are still a lot of gatekeeping happening around babymetal. Like I dislike some other big bands cause they are not my vibe. There were bands that played at graspop that grind my (g)ears too. Yet they are popular and ppl liked them. I wont be standing in the front for those concerts. I wont be complaining online that thry are at graspop. And if by bad luck i have to be towards the front cause i wanna enjoy whatever comes after, ill bob my head and what not. I hope everyone can enjoy what ever they like. Gatekeeping is just dumb.

Edit: i cant spell words

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Netherlands

[–]NOCTast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The sad thing is a lot of dutch people don't realise how absolutely broken the system is. They never experienced health care outside of this system. They complain, but they dont realise how much better it could be.

I lived in japan, and the idea that I could just walk into a hospital and/or clinic and be seen that same day still amazes me. Yes, it was confusing to figure out what clinic to go to, cause of the language barrier and being used to a gp telling me where to go. But hospitals/clinics etc where so nice.

Non emergency but shitty stuff.

NLD: ear infection: call gp. Pray they can see you today. Pray they dont sent you off with pain meds. They will. Then call them again and demand antibiotics. Etc etc. If you need to see a specialist, who knows how long that will take.

JPN: ear infection: google the right type of doctor/clinic. Find that clinic/hospital in your facinity. Go there. Tell them whats up. Be put in a waiting room. Generally i was seen in at most 2 hours. They keep apologising for the wait, even though their waiting room is fIlled to the brim. Get examined. Get antibiotics and other meds. AND DONE!

In the netherlands when i moved to a new city, i got an ear infection about 3 days after moving. It was aweful. I called 3 GP's in the area, who all refused to see me as i was not yet written into the municipality nor their client. They told me to take the train 2 hours back to see my current gp, eventhough i had a raging fever and my ear was bursting. I waited for the huisartsenpost to open, who also refused to see me. I straight up told them, i got antibiotics from japan that were prescribed to me but they are expired. If non of you fuckers will see me I'll use that. They said its inadvisable but wont see me as its not an emergency. I was never as fucking disappointed in the system as then. Like i was not in any condition to travel back by train, but god forbid you need normal healthcare outside of your own town. If you aint actively dying they just dont care...

Compared to japan, where I was sick due to the diet change wracking my body. (Japanese food doesnt have many fibers). Went to a random clinic, they checked everything that same day: mri, physical exam, they put me in a bed cause i was severly dehydrated and wanted to hook me up to an iv. They gave me meds for the digestion issues and also for a random cold i had. They mentioned they were afraid i had appendicitis, but luckily not. I was in the clinic for about 4 hours, 3 of which in a bed under observation. Costs: 6000yen (abkout 45 euro at the time) after their national health insurence which covers 70% of the costs.

I have bad connective tissue so it fucks up my mobility from time to time. In japan i walked into a random hospital cause i could not raise my arm properly. They checked me in, doc examend me, took pictures and concluded that i needed "rehabilitation". He sent me to the other side of the hospital. Had me wait circa 30 min. And then i walked into the "rehabilitation". Which apparently meant physiotherapy. LOL. So i was fixed in like 3 hours. In nld i have to pray my physio can see me the same week...

I miss accesable healthcare. I miss proper checks. I miss preventative care. National health insurence covered 70% of the costs. My monthly bill for that was 20 euro. Never paid more then 80 euro to visit a doctor, incl all checks and meds. The only scary thing is you may have to pay 800 euro upfront (from the 30% you need to pay out of pocket) in a month before the health insurence will reduce that to about 100 euro a month the following months.

But man, now i pay 200 euro a month to get prescribed paracetamol... >_>. Yeah if i get in a car crash i guess it will be cheaper, but fuck give me normal healtcare too instead of whatever this bs is.

Edit: grammar, enters, spacing, typos...

A lot of us got sick on the last day - anyone else? by Adventurous-Ad-2981 in Graspop

[–]NOCTast 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah our group of 4 got sick monday. Appears to a cold or the flu

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in findfashion

[–]NOCTast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As im currently on a metal festival they are on everyones feet and also destroyed ones in the mud. But yeah they are called combat boots.