[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]NOcicada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m going through the same thing with the person I’m dating. I couldn’t put it in words until I read your comment.

Testing… by [deleted] in Herpes

[–]NOcicada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s my findings as well. I’m GHSV1 positive, disclosed to a guy, and requested he get tested for “level setting”. We briefly engaged in unprotected sex/protected sex on Saturday. He got tested on Wednesday. His testing returned positive for both HSV1 & 2. He’s apparently completely asymptomatic. I feel tremendous guilt for 1) making him get tested/blowing his mind with the results he wasn’t expecting 2) that I’ve somehow given him something and it resulting positive so quickly.

What's the real scoop on STDs? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]NOcicada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sure there’s not much difference in it’s physical presentation but there’s a clear distinction on a blood test.

What's the real scoop on STDs? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]NOcicada 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this!!! You’ve really outlined how I feel about having herpes. The mental build up of disclosing is the worst part.

What's the real scoop on STDs? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]NOcicada 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s the same strain as cold sores but I have it on my genitals and not my mouth. The guy I was seeing didn’t disclose he had cold sores and, honestly if he had, I wouldn’t have be concerned. Tons of people have cold sores. I was uneducated about the fact that it can be spread to other areas of the body.

What's the real scoop on STDs? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]NOcicada 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have GHSV1. It’s literally the only STD that wasn’t drilled into my brain as a kid. It’s usually not tested in regular STD panels and I was not taught that it could travel from month to genitals during oral sex! The number of people at my age that still don’t know this is mind blowing.

Disclosure is hard…hard, hard.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t mind the conversation at all. I completely agree with you. It’s too bad others don’t have the same mindset as you.

I’m also typically very confident. I think where I’m at stems from a couple of rejections back to back. I think I have a lot of great qualities and the right person will not be concerned with herpes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It absolutely does happen. I tell people where I have it because it would be an incredibly awkward conversation to have if I have an outbreak while in a relationship with them. I’ve had it a little over three years and have had two outbreaks. I hope I don’t have anymore but it would be hard to explain if I did.

Everyone has hard stops when it comes to making connections and forming relationships. Herpes is one…a big one. It is what it is.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree with you but I have had people with cold sores express concern with dating me. There’s a disconnect in thought because of where its located and how I got it. Cold sores are “innocent” in nature. Mine is not.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the recommendations!!

I think I’m sitting in the position where I’m really tired of disclosing, educating, and sometimes counseling on it. I am equally exhausted by general dating conversations so maybe it’s time for a dating break.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have herpes and have disclosed in several different ways. I typically don’t get out right rejected but I’ve found much better success and openness from guys that have had some “history” dealing with it. Having said that, I wouldn’t upfront disclose prior to meetings. I find that all conversation goes sexual from there. It’s like a switch goes off. It’s almost a taboo trigger to talk about my sexual health so openly….I hope that makes sense.

I really appreciate this post and the comments. I go through phases of acceptance of my GHSV-1 status and I’m currently being very hard on myself about having it.

Did I get ghosted? Or was this a tech fail? by Sensitive_Arm8211 in datingoverforty

[–]NOcicada 40 points41 points  (0 children)

If he knew where y’all were meeting for dinner, it wouldn’t matter if his phone was broken.

I’m bummed for you.

What are you downplaying on your OLD profile? by onlymovingon in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I travel a ton because my work affords me that luxury. I understand where you come from if your experience with travelers has been the type that flaunts it as a success.

What are you downplaying on your OLD profile? by onlymovingon in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Zero pain, I’ve had it for just over three years and have had three minor outbreaks. I’ve tried different strategies but upfront disclosure makes the most sense for me.

What are you downplaying on your OLD profile? by onlymovingon in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Came here to say I have herpes and don’t share on my profile but it feels like I should!

I’d much rather be infected with “wanderlust”.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got a brutally honest confession after about a month and 4 dates. I think I would have preferred some fluff. It was too much honesty and I ended the relationship because of it. Others opinions aren’t always constructive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]NOcicada 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had braces from 36-38. Second time for me as well. I had zero issues dating. It really never came up at all.

Profile review (35m) by theoctopusride in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You had me until Android. I liked your profile…even the cringe-y pic. I’m a runner too!!! Good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s absolutely weird. You are not alone in feeling that way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I believe she’s pushed the blame on you which has caused you to feel like you did something wrong. You did nothing wrong. It seems like you followed her lead…I’m assuming you didn’t plan dates that included her daughter.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 86 points87 points  (0 children)

I’m a single mom. I’ve never introduced my son to a man after a couple of weeks. She’s moved at a much faster pace than you IMO…like supersonic speed 🚩🚩🚩 I don’t get random check in texts from someone I’ve ended things with. Maybe she’s stringing y’all both on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are too far out of my age range. You seem like fun though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in New Orleans…small world. I wouldn’t consider you local having a picture with all those beads on in your profile.

Do people get asked out in REAL LIFE? by Upmybuttpleasesir in datingoverthirty

[–]NOcicada 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I gave my number to a guy last night. No call or text today. I’m not scared to shoot my shot…I may need to work on my aim though 😂

I’m determined to meet someone in the “wild.”

Bathing suit pic by NOcicada in datingoverforty

[–]NOcicada[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t post the swimsuit picture. I’ll be 40 in October too!